spiritual awakening?

Tonight at work i witnessed something that moved me a lot.

There is a girl where i work who is, from what i gather from overhearing conversations, considered overly bossy and controlling for her newly acquired coordinator position. Around the time the store was closing tonight she told our manager over the walkie that she would do the closing announcement (shes done it before and its not unusual that different people are allowed to do the announcements). Anyway, she proceeds to stumble through the announcement having to repeat herself several times. Second announcement, same thing. At this point our manager says he will do the announcement if she can't handle it to which she replies "i can do it if i just write it down first maybe."

Even after the store is closed she sounds a little broken and embarrassed over the walkie using very passive language and making an extra effort to be nice to people. As i approach her later to put my walkie away i get a real sense of someone who is very disheartened and fragile even to the point of being anxious which is a big contrast to her normally cold and detached demeanor. All i can focus on though is how she engages me when i say "excuse me" to get by her to put my walkie away. She looks up at me and lets out a silent "Ahh! " which is hard to describe but represents what i believe are her most raw feelings towards me and at the same time I feel it reflected her fear of my judging what she thought was a huge failure. I realize i am looking at someone who had had their ego deeply bruised. I wanted to console her somehow but could only think of the right things to say on the way home.

Anyway, the reason I'm posting this story is because of what i felt on the way home. While im reflecting on the recent interactions at work (as is my routine ) I find myself feeling at first deeply sorry for not having said something to this girl. I don't pity her, but instead i feel a deep connection to what she was feeling at the time and how crushing the knowledge of others judgement can be. It was then that i saw her completely as a human being who has doubts and fears and dreams. As someone who probably even has a good idea how others feel about her behind her back. I also felt a deep connection, not just an understanding of the facts, but a real connection with all people and their fears. fears of rejection and loss and death. My mood was transported to a place of calm understanding and i had a sense of being connected again to some vague and fleeting feeling in childhood where everything seemed to be in the right place and ok.

I've completely lost the feeling now as i write this and its very hard to describe. Does anybody else have an experience or a moment of "spiritual awakening" they can share?

I have a somewhat similar story, not exactly what I would call a "spiritual awakening" but more of a realization that even the "normies" can be just as emotionally vulnerable and insecure.

Recently, one of my roommates had an emotional breakdown and I did my best to comfort her. Even though I didn't really know her that well, she appeared on the exterior to have it all together. She was caring, polite, organized, attractive, and had a boyfriend and a group of close friends... the kind of person I might secretly envy. Never did I realize she was filled so much anxiety and insecurity.

I saw her in the hallway as I was about to unlock the door to my room and she told me that she was feeling a little stressed and slouched down on the ground. When I went over to sit next to her, she started to sob and let all her problems spill out. She told me about how uncertain she was about her intended major, about making friends outside of her tight-knit group, disappointing the people around her, being a burden on others, and how intimidated she was by the confidence of my other roommate.... many of the same anxieties I was also feeling.

So I guess it just goes to show you that almost everyone, deep down, is emotionally vulnerable.

This was mine. For years now, when people would not do their jobs, I would get upset and assume they were trying to screw me. People would always say, "you want to make them conform to your high standards" and that was absolutely the wrong way to say it.

See, I don't think I have high standards. My standards are what I hold myself to, so, if others can't do it, well, I can't believe that they can't do it. If I can do it. I don't like to think of myself as skilled or smart in anyway. It isn't self esteem but if I make them.. on a level with me, then I don't have to face anyone thinking that I have a swelled head. This goes so far, I actually want to help other people do good because then, in my own mind I won't have to accept that they aren't capable of it. See their performance with mine reaches a certain point and then, I forget I helped.

So someone here actually said something that finally smacked my head the right away and it was just like a veil was lifted. I saw the fact, the absolute fact, that the people I thought were on my level, weren't... and my living in this dreamland wishing that they had the skills I did, was just going to keep me upset when they didn't perform the way I wanted. If I could just accept them for what they were, and using those limitations to act accordingly to help them... rather than hope they would not need my help... I would be so much happier even if they failed because I would be able to know they were trying their best.

Really this has helped and it makes me understand my boss getting upset with me, although he doesn't understand it. But he expects too much from me, and can't conceive that I can't perform to his standards. He forgets that he is different than me (he has been in this job since 1981) and thus things are more clear to him. But it really is like a veil lifted that helped a lot with my anger issues.