terrified of showing emotion

Anyone terrified of showing any type of emotion in front of anyone? If anyone asks me something that needs an emotional response, i.e. if my dad's girlfriend asked me what my friends and I did today, then it would be tough to respond. If I tell her what we did today (or lie about what we did today, doesn't matter), it would signal that I'm interested in having a conversation with her about nothing, because it's obvious that she would only ask that question in order to start a conversation with me. If I show that I want to talk to her, when we're both aware that we're clearly talking about nothing, just to get a conversation going, that is being emotional. I would probably respond with "Um, I don't know. We just hung out and stuff," while making behavioral cues/body language/using a tone of voice that would indicate that I'm trying to end the conversation because of the risk of showing emotion.

Although, I have no problem laughing in front of friends (which is rare anyway, since I have a weird sense of humor). Anyway, that's just one example. There are tons of ways of showing emotion and I am scared of showing 99% of them in front of anyone. Is there anyone else like this?

Not terrified I just dont do it much. Everyone seems to point it out aswell. Basically everyone I've met will tell me how quite and non-talkative I am.

I was the king of poker back in high school because everyone told me I had a poker face 24/7, I actually was bad at the game though (I lost a bit of money from it ).

The only time I really show any emotion is when I'm making a joke but just like you I dont do that much either as I think I have a weird sense of homour aswell. I either get plenty of laughs or people shake their heads and are like, 'you cant say that'.

I would rather meet someone like you that is scared to show emotions, than most people who are only showing emotions to hide their own insecurities, and trying to get attention/be popular.

People these days are too shallow, everything is face-value. In the long-run, honesty and integrity are more valuable and enduring than hype and superficiality.

Except for when I'm with someone I'm extremely close to/a person I find easy to talk to, I give very short, curt answers and probably show that I'm not interested in talking.

I think it mostly has to do with who you are comfortable with. You are comfortable being around your friends so you don't have a problem laughing with them, but you probably feel awkward around your dad's girlfriend so it's harder to show emotion. I'm sure even normal people have this problem, so I wouldn't worry that much.

merely_me wrote:I think it mostly has to do with who you are comfortable with. You are comfortable being around your friends so you don't have a problem laughing with them, but you probably feel awkward around your dad's girlfriend so it's harder to show emotion. I'm sure even normal people have this problem, so I wouldn't worry that much.

The problem is the only emotion that I'd ever show around my friends is laughter. So, if they talk about anything sex related, it creates a lot of tension for me. If they say anything that needs some type of emotional response from me, then it's tough to answer. Usually I would just act very non-serious and try to create humor out of the situation, if I had the opportunity.

I would rather meet someone like you that is scared to show emotions, than most people who are only showing emotions to hide their own insecurities, and trying to get attention/be popular.

Yup I get scared of showing emotions quite easily.

I don't really know why, but I always had this fear that if I showed my emotions people would call me oversensitive. And after years of keeping a poker face and finally deciding to be a real human for one day (I mean actually showing emotions), people get all surprised and have a huge reaction, so I get discouraged from that.

Another thing is that I don't know if I'm just weird, but whenever I feel an emotion I'd prefer to just, well, feel it. I never saw the need to put on a show about it. To the OP, I'm not any better than you at this, but it seems to be that when people are talking about sex jokes or something related their usually joking (my classmates used to make lewd references any time but I doubt that any of them have actually done it), so there's not a lot of emotional investment in the first place. Same with all small talk really, I don't think you have to show any emotions if you don't want to, they're just words.

diningeachox wrote:And after years of keeping a poker face and finally deciding to be a real human for one day (I mean actually showing emotions), people get all surprised and have a huge reaction, so I get discouraged from that.

Exactly...same thing happens to me.

To the OP, I'm not any better than you at this, but it seems to be that when people are talking about sex jokes or something related their usually joking (my classmates used to make lewd references any time but I doubt that any of them have actually done it), so there's not a lot of emotional investment in the first place.

Nah, sometimes they'll be having a serious conversation. Then all of the sudden, someone will turn to me and ask, "What do you think?"...Really sucks to be in that type of situation.

Same with all small talk really, I don't think you have to show any emotions if you don't want to, they're just words.

Words can signal to someone else how you feel, though. I even have a hard time answering the simple question from my mom if she asks, "How is the dinner?" I'm pretty much forced to give a reply, and the simplest I can think of is, "Good."

emaR wrote:Anyone terrified of showing any type of emotion in front of anyone? If anyone asks me something that needs an emotional response, Although, I have no problem laughing in front of friends (which is rare anyway, since I have a weird sense of humor). Anyway, that's just one example. There are tons of ways of showing emotion and I am scared of showing 99% of them in front of anyone. Is there anyone else like this?

I also have no problem showing happiness... but, only fake happiness. I am terrified for being vulnerable in front of anyone. When my mom died, I didn't cry at all in public. I was making jokes ... and totally normal. Although I cried in almost every drive anyplace for weeks.

(one reason I get frustrated when I hear people talking about alleged killers who didn't cry over their loved ones' death -- doesn't mean you didn't love them.)

My boss came to the wake and saw that, and then, more recently when I was having trouble with my boss (another one) I teared up a little and I could see the horrified look in her face. Because she doesn't see emotion, and I am normally happy go lucky (fake), now, because I teared up.. somehow in her mind, I am ... unstable.. in need of emotional counseling... so yes, seems like if any emotion leaks out.. people get terrified and over react.

I have to say, I think my parents taught me this. I NEVER remember my mom being upset or anything but then one time she was falsely diagnosed with cancer and cried and I thought I was going to die.... it was so terrifying because it was so unusual.

I hardly show any kind of emotion, ever. I can laugh, like you, but that's pretty much it. I think it's because laughter is a "confident" feeling.

I don't show/tell when I feel things like hunger or if I'm cold either. I will, in fact, insist that I am NOT cold or that I'm NOT hungry even if I'm starving and my stomach keeps growling or if I'm standing in the snow wearing a tshirt and wet shoes.

-- Thu 18.08.2011 23:45 --

SaraShaw wrote:I have to say, I think my parents taught me this. I NEVER remember my mom being upset or anything but then one time she was falsely diagnosed with cancer and cried and I thought I was going to die.... it was so terrifying because it was so unusual.

I remember my mother cried once, because her best friend from childhood had just died from cancer. I was horrified and didn't know what to do, so I just went to bed. I never thought I might have learned the no-feelings thing from my parents... I'll have to think about that one for a while.

Sure. You learn everything from your parents. A parent can show you to express affection through touching, or through words and so on. This is the way you will express yourself. For exámple, my mother and my father rarely express their love by touching, hugs or kisses. They usually use word, and not very often. So, I find easily to express my emotions through words.