New and this is a intro?

The last time I had a girl(she was gorgeous) interested in me was about 11 months ago. I always meet my love interest at the places of which i work because I never go "out"(I just sit in my room all the time and go to work, when people ask me to hang out I make up excuess and they just stop asking me to hang out and I lose so called "friends"). I don't have any friends so I guess when I get a love interest their my only friend?

we seemed to have alot in common because I told her all my flaws straight up..(like i don't drink, like to go to clubs, etc and she said she had a lot of that in ommon)(time past and one day she was like "I haven't had a drink in a while"(.......wow you liar)she also said..."I can't dance either and hate it"(...time passed she was on her high schools freaking dance team..)

She was a high school senior..and it became clear she was the popular girl I could never get while I was in high school!!!!

about 2 months she said I was boring and stopped seeing me, all we would do is talk alot(i would make her laugh) and watch movies?(IDK what more to do)

I'm probvaly gonna die alone because I guess I am boring? I need a girl who takes control and tells me we are gonna do something...who sparks conversation?

I hate clubs, I hate dancing, I hate being around new people(the females friends/family she introduces me to).

I haven't pursued a girl since because my confidence is shot and I have soo many flaws...I long for a girl friend....but it seems impossible.....

I've been sitting in my dorm's over the last year just watching tv shows on my computer...living vicariously through them...

I'm gonna die alone...I'm 19 and currently in the military.

Hi jesusplay

You're looking to the future and what you want, when really we should looking at here and now.
Don't worry we're all guilty of this

Warm welcome
Dwight

jesusplay wrote:I told her all my flaws straight up..(like i don't drink, like to go to clubs, etc)

I don't see how these are flaws? They are simply different interests or desires. A lot of people don't drink or go to clubs, even young people.

jesusplay wrote:I'm probvaly gonna die alone because I guess I am boring? I need a girl who takes control and tells me we are gonna do something...who sparks conversation?

You aren't going to die alone if you don't want to! There are girls that are more outgoing and dominant (don't really like that word but couldn't think of another way to phrase it), especially now a days. I'm not going to lie though, if you want a girl anytime soon or one you know you're going to like you will obviously have to gather the courage to start asking girls out. You have to realize that if a girl says 'no' that it isn't your fault, not everybody is attracted to everybody (even good looking and charming people get shot down) and that it just wasn't meant to be.

Are you a Christian? (I'm unsure with your name) I think church would be a really good place to meet girls who you could probably connect with better. They most likely wouldn't be the drinking or clubbing types either and you could move a little slower with them without being seen as 'weird' or 'boring'.

Anyway, welcome to the forums! I wish you luck with all your difficulties and hope that you can find some help here.

It seems every girl I have ever met has called me weird.

I often have these awkward silences around people.

In my head I'll be thinking about all these things to say when I should be talking to the people infront of me ..

I'm afriad of women and I'm afraid of having friends.

I don't like people but I don't want to be alone...

I think I have AvPD because people often invite me places, I eat in my room to avoid people instead of the D'Fact...ugh....I don't know what to do.

I'm a sad person....I hate talking on the phone which makes it even harder to build a relationship with a girls/people....my mother is my only friend in the world and when she calls I ignore her.

jesusplay wrote:I often have these awkward silences around people.

In my head I'll be thinking about all these things to say when I should be talking to the people infront of me ..

I think this is pretty normal, I can't think of one person who doesn't experience awkward silences although probably to a much lesser degree. You shouldn't be keeping it all inside your head but us avoidants often do that in fear of saying the wrong thing or being rejected. Next time you have a conversation, try and push yourself to say a few things you wouldn't normally, most likely you will see that it won't end up bad like you think it will, they will just talk to you like anybody else.

jesusplay wrote:I'm afriad of women and I'm afraid of having friends.
I don't like people but I don't want to be alone...

I have the same problems.

jesusplay wrote:I think I have AvPD because people often invite me places, I eat in my room to avoid people instead of the D'Fact...ugh....I don't know what to do.

You definitely sound like you have AvPD but don't take my opinion too seriously since I'm not a professional of any sort.

jesusplay wrote: I'm a sad person....I hate talking on the phone which makes it even harder to build a relationship with a girls/people....my mother is my only friend in the world and when she calls I ignore her.

Yeah, we are pretty much the same person (even the same age) except I'm female and I don't have much desire for a romantic relationship. Sorry I'm not very helpful, I'm just here to let you know that you aren't alone in this. There are a lot of people going through the same or similar things. We are all here struggling with something, all we can do is push ourselves a little bit every day until we reach a place where we're happy. Don't give up.

PatronSaintHunter wrote:I think this is pretty normal, I can't think of one person who doesn't experience awkward silences although probably to a much lesser degree. You shouldn't be keeping it all inside your head but us avoidants often do that in fear of saying the wrong thing or being rejected. Next time you have a conversation, try and push yourself to say a few things you wouldn't normally, most likely you will see that it won't end up bad like you think it will, they will just talk to you like anybody else.

The "silence" brings about great anxiety. I start to feel inadequate, like my being is pointless...then a great fear as if I'm about to die and I need to escape the situation.

from when I was in high school:
2 years ago. My my girlfriend at the time, she dealed well with my issues(sorta), she invited me to her prom and She knew I didn't wanan go...Like a fool I went so I wouldn't lose my only friend....I sat at a table, locked in fear and didn't get up..just texting random people even texting my self to myself just to escape the music the people my sad reality...she begged me to dance....they all did, I couldn't...I ended up being a purse watcher..I left her at the prom when one of her friends told me I was "boring"....I told her I wouldn't have felt comforatble, etc...and that I wouldn't dance...she was mad at me.......and from that point her friends hated me....the relationship soon ended.