Sick of seeing happy people

I'm tired of seeing everyone around me living their lives, getting jobs, buying cars, going out with friends, getting into relationships and generally living a seemingly enjoyable life and I'm just sitting here going absolutely no-where, what's worse is people don't care/notice me, I feel like people make fun of me behind my back, like my family know I'm a depressive friendless boring person and not worth anyone's time. and they'll never ask me about it, which sucks because I sure can't bring it up, if I hint at the idea that no-one likes me it just ends in denial and the easy "you need to be more social" answer, it's like, shut up it's not that easy, I've been more social and it just makes everyone hate me more, like I'm some sort of alien. I feel like my feet are glued to the floor here, I can't make friends, I don't enjoy what other people enjoy and I hate trying new things. I don't want to work any more, my 7 month working experience just showed to me that once you have a job everyone wants your money, people said I'd be happier if I was working but I wasn't. I want to just live how I do now, stay up until 4am and sleep for 12 hours, stay on my fortnightly payments of $240 and pretend that I've been searching for jobs so that they don't cut off my payments and do absolutely nothing the rest of the time.

Everyone's going to leave me behind and yes I know it's up to me if I want to go anywhere, but it's the fact that no-one gives a $#%^ if I end up a lunatic bum and die under a seat at a train station, where am I supposed to get motivation to make something of myself.

Do you ever see one person make another laugh and think to yourself, if that was me and I said the EXACT same thing in the exact same way... it wouldn't be funny, because people just see me as a piece of crap, when I start having those thoughts I get so angry, a perfect example of this; I posted a cute picture of my dog on facebook, if someone else who had as many friends as me and was one of those people with their normal happy lives had posted the picture on their profile a squillion people would comment on it, for me people don't even bother to look, it wouldn't matter if my dog could speak fluent english no-one would care, they would somehow decide I don't deserve any attention and ignore it.Oonce I was venting to a person about this topic who was what you would call an un-savoury type, I almost ended up getting pulled into a stupid plan where him and I were to run into a shopping centre and beating the living crap out of a group of people we went to school with, the popular kids we didn't like, and with this guy he didn't take "sure I'd like like to do that, but I can't because it's just not something I'd do" for an answer, you either wanted to do it and you did it or you don't, and if you changed your mind he made you feel like a liar.

Now everything has stemmed into a hate of everyone that I don't consider a friend or family, like an extreme jealousy if that's what you can call it. These feelings, this depression comes and goes, it's most intense when I notice other people being happy, it just reminds me of how much of a loser I am and how I can't change it, yeah that's why I'm angry, because when these people get depression they get out of it again, not me, I'm stuck like this for ever.

I know what you mean about feeling invisible and what not. I can talk and no one hears me, or everyone can be talking and laughing and I can join in the conversation, and it just stops. That's why I've taken to just not talking in the first place.

I know this might sound stupid, but maybe try reading some self help type books. Not ones about being shy and becoming sociable. But just ones that are encouraging.

My mom made me read a self help book when I was in high school. I never read much of it, but each chapter started with a affirmation. One of them was Every feeling is just a thought, and thoughts can be changed. Or something like that. I really liked it so I wrote it on a post it note and stuck it on my bed. I read it every night. While it didn't cure anything, it did make me feel better.

Yeah I can do things and nobody will notice, but then someone else can do something stupider than what I did and everyone will notice :C. It's really aggravating,but I just jot it down to 'it's because I don't make lot of friends easily, not because I suck'.
Of course more people are going to notice their stupid crap because they get to know more people than I.

I don't really hate seeing people happy..I'm mainly indifferent to it. When I see people happy I tend to see that they are unhappy too. I do have a friend of mine who thinks a lot like you do. I try to tell her she doesn't suck she just doesn't kiss ass like the other person does. But she's always comparing what she doesn't have to what others do, even if I don't think what the other person has is all that spectacular. It's still better than her. Then she gets mad at them . Sometimes it's hard to deal with this for me becuase I just want to be like 'look they aren't that great off.' ,but she feels that they are better off than her..and then I remind myself of all the issues I have and then I try to encourage her.

You did say friends..so you do have someoen, right? Someone does care about you? I think having one close friend is better than having tons of others. and if someone doesn't, then you can still have yourself. I know that doesn't seem like much at times....

I think I'm terrible at advice. Anyway, I do know what you mean and it can be irritating. Everyone else seems like they have their head on better than I do.

I know what it's like to be invisible too. I have tried the whole "be more social and make friends" thing. Meh. I'm just not into it. I like my alone time. What I find interesting is that after I stopped initiating social interactions with them (texting or calling my "best friend" and a mutual friend asking if they wanna hang out, stopped texting and Facebook IMing with my female friend) they never actually make any effort to contact me. I'm the one that has to initiate. I'm basically invisible to them. But I like it that way because I really don't have much need for social stimulation. I would like to be in a relationship though since I feel that a rewarding relationship would be worthwhile. Being with someone that I connected with.

And I'll have to start working again eventually. It's important for me to have that degree of independence. When my mom passes away (and due to her health problems she's more likely to be the one to go first), it would be hell on earth to live alone with my father (with him retiring soon, things are going to be less fun pretty soon as well with him around the house the whole day) or live with my sister or my brother (and his family). Being in a position of dependence, they wouldn't treat me with much dignity. Let's just say that. I see work as basically a necessity to make a living. It's not really something that I find enjoyable or passionate. If it's not too stressful, it's bearable though. And during depressive periods, it can be a comforting distraction. Though since being unemployed for over a month, I find things calming and comfortable. I do still continue to apply for jobs within my field. Though not as often as I probably should (every time I modify my cover letter and resume for a job, I feel like I'm wasting my time because I know I'm not going to get the job and I'm only really doing it for money). I had struggled for awhile to get field-related work aside from the job I got last year (through a connection. That's how I got my in. If I didn't have that in, I probably wouldn't have got the job. But I did do a great job but it was on a contract and it expired).

As for whether I'm sick of seeing people happy? No. I think it's nice when people are actually happy. Though I've noticed throughout my life that way too many people just put on an act.

Same with me. I know it's really bad but I get jealous of happy people. It's frustrating to see everyone so happy and content while you feel miserable. I have a friend who is ALWAYS happy and sometimes when I'm in a really bad mood, I can be spiteful. Out of frustation, I used to ask him questions like "Why are you so happy all the time," "Why are you so optimistic?" "What is there to look forward so much?" I think it bothers him, but he is too nice to say.

I think I bore him with all my complaints though. Have you noticed that with very happy people? They just seem to shut up if you start talking about being depressed or any of your problems. I guess they don't really know how to relate...........

I think I understand. When you're seen as a buzzkill, hardly anyone cares to understand why you're like that or if something is wrong... or appreciate the effort you put in to be social. They just don't want you around, period. They would rather have a good time and not have to deal with you.

I don't really get jealous of happy people. Good for them. I just don't being treated like a wet blanket by people who don't understand what it's like to have mental problems. I hate sounding like "poor me", but it's hard to be a ray of sunshine with all the $#%^ going on in my head. I am working on it though. I'm lucky that I have at least a couple people in my life that are encouraging and see the good in me. I try to keep those relationships intact and not worry about other petty social situations.

This is one reason I don't watch much TV dramas anymore. I can't stand seeing people have 'heart-to-heart' conversations. I've never had anything like that. It especially hurts to see people get nurturing advice from their parents. Usually if I work up the courage to try to be a bit honest with someone about my troubles, they either give me a blank look, or change the subject to tell me how *their* problems are much more important than mine.

Sometimes it also hurts a bit to see couples pushing around a baby stroller, just because I'm at that age where I need to get started on having a family if I'm going to (yeah, i know it can happen later, especially with guys, but once you hit 30 it's sort of that time). Not that I'm sure I want to have a family, but it hurts that I'm nowhere near being able to do that, like I'm still at the starting line of life.

On the other hand, I don't really like to be around people who are incredibly negative, and I try to be upbeat and polite to everyone. But I feel so different when I see how people are focused on better homes, cars, clothes, careers, and I'm wondering on how little I can get by without being homeless.

Lately...seeing people happy scares me.

I mean...I'm happy for them, but for me...it's a signal I'm about to be abandoned.

I can sort of relate but while I still get frustrated at the sort of things that have been mentioned I dont really get angry or jealous.

The way I try to rationalise it is by thinking how would feeling angry or jealous make me feel any better. It simply doesnt.

I just accpet I'm a little screwed up than most and let those who think they are normal and happy lead their normal and happy lives.

Happy people make me want to get a shotgun and blast the smiles right off their face.