Overprotective parents and link to AvPD?

I try very hard to be bitter with my mother. It's HARD.

I was born with asphyxia,almost died, doctors said: high risk of mental illness, take good care of her. She was overportective physically - as I long as I wasn't injrued or sick, she didnt; give a damn about me, but did subject me to years of circumstance specific trauma I dont' even wanna go over. She has agressive depression with uncontrollable anger and is very critical, has used me all my life for my language skills for our migration, i'm good with technology, housework, helping raise my 8 y.o. sister etc. I never felt loved by her in my life, I'm only useful.

Response to the above poster: romance? sex?? for an avoidant??? is that possible?? For me it's kinda like looking at chocolate cake when you know you're permanently on a diet - just don't see how it's possible for me, but I'm glad other AVPDs have motivation.

I'm 19 and I feel a bit smothered by my mum, i am the youngest of 4, all the others are grown up with kids of their own. I think she finds it hard to let go. I feel like I'm not allowed to act grown up, she has to say something every time i have a beer, or if i go to see my friend she wants to know what I did or where we went and why, I'm nearly 20 for gods sake I should be allowed to go see my mate, she's always got this suspicious vibe like I'm gonna go out and get drunk and find some slut at a club which is something I don't want to do, and not even the sluttiest slut would be interested in me anyway, no way not me. she makes me feel like I shouldn't go out on the rare occasion I do, and the rest of the time she says I should go out more blah blah blah.
Gee what if I somehow managed to find a girlfriend, she'd do the "my baby's growing up" and crying thing on me which I hate.

How come every time I try and explain to her that I'm well.. socially retarded she just say that" everyone feels like that at your age", clearly not, everyone else my age goes out and has fun and I have to sit at home like a hermit because no-one enjoys my company because I can't let my personality show through without everyone looking at me like I've just grown a second head.

I love my family a lot but they give me the shits, i think my family is 60% of the cause of why I am this way, the other 40% being people who have treated me like $#%^, like at school for being shy yet smart and witty and getting ignored because I was always the smallest kid in class. Oh well.