Do you feel like you can read people a lot better?

I think I can see what's going on really when, but only when I'm a bystander.
Like when two people are talking I will know exactly what the other one means and is coming from, etc. And because of that I also see it a lot of times very obvious when two people aren't on the same page, while they haven't figured that out yet. Sometimes I think I should say something to them about it, to explain what is going on, but then I back off from that, always.

When I'm one of the participants it's quite a bit harder. People I know I can read reasonably well. But I tend to be quite naive with them, so they can easily fool me (jokes), etc.
With people I don't know I guess I'm really sensitive/cynical as my first impression of pretty much anyone I meet is "what a douche...", even with the people I end up getting really close (those few and far between). Because of that I don't tend to trust my gut, which actually sometimes has led me into quite the opposite behaviour of being to naive (though I do think naivity is a good quality, rather then being cynical).

I am very adept at spotting both what a person is trying to convey they are feeling and what they are actually feeling, along with a personality type and a general sense of morals. Hightened interpersonal sensitivity isn't always a bad thing.

Anyone else have a problem with memory? I have difficulty remembering what I was doing yesterday a lot of the time because I live so deeply within my head rather than the events occurring around me. Also even if I only see or marginally interact with a person for 5 minutes I'll remember them, their mannerisms, where I met them, their personality type, along with a bunch of other information. Memory will last years, and even if its been years I will at least recognize the face (but it's so difficult to remember the names! I just remember the person as an emotional entity.)

That's pretty cool, that's actually how my memory works as well.
People can say their name and withing 5 seconds I am already wondering what it was (and actually feel a bit bad about not even remembering it after such a short time). But yeah, faces, impressions, etc. really do register with me very deeply and I can remember them for a long time as well.

Same with facts, little tiny seperate things I won't remember for the live of me, but if it's part of a bigger system I will be able to recall pretty much any minute detail about it and how that detail relates to the whole. Pretty weird, but I guess it's pretty much the same system as a name vs. the person themselves.

Joancy wrote:People can say their name and withing 5 seconds I am already wondering what it was (and actually feel a bit bad about not even remembering it after such a short time).

Same with me. I was actually quite surprised to explicitly read that this is a common trait amongst us AVies.

I think my memory is good, overall, however. In particular, I notice that when people remember some past event they generally remember it in a way that does not make themselves look too bad. It's not that I think they are lying about what they remember, but I think their brains have either forgotten and are glossing over what they have forgotten in a generous way or they have otherwise genuinely fooled themselves. I guess being an AVie I'm inclined to be overly critical of people, so it doesn't slip past me, however.

Wow, I'm also terrible with names (except online) - why is that a common avoidant trait?

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pancakes wrote:I have the same problem with remembering events, but am very good at remembering details of interactions with people and details about them. Could be due to hypervigilence?

Definitely. Our focus is just on people, not on events or information like what they said their name was. Since the focus is so extreme our ability to process miscellany becomes negligible, and hence the trait.

I might not be able to read people better but I do notice a lot more. I am hyper-aware of everything.

I remember conversations with people as if it was a play. Person 1 says line 1, Person 2 says line 2, Person 1 responds with line 3, etc.

I then over-analyze the play afterwards and distort things out of proportion.