In spite of pain, resisting social interaction.

I know I'm not the only one here to deal with this, who else here? in social situations has dealt with headaches .. toothaches.. basically severe pain in silence.. simply because social interaction is totally non-bearable.. evan if it's just asking for some medicine which would end the suffering right away. I was at my aunt's home monday or tuesday and my teeth had been hurting really bad so I wasn't going to eat that day but.. my aunt had purchased fried chicken just for me and my brother and my brother wont eat chicken so it was all on me I couldn't stand the idea being a bad guest so I just ate it knowing it would cause my teeth to ache I just did it any way and it hurt like hell but I just couldn't stop I just cant deal with those social things I wouldn't evan ask for dental floss or medicine.. I carried a bottle of some pain medicine that day and ate like 5 pills through the day then my cousin asked what was wrong i said my head hurt because i was getting grumpy and my cousin noticed.. later on i asked for dental floss saying i had chicken in my teeth that's all i said so i got a piece of floss that barely did any thing. I'm still dealing with this tooth pain, taking antibiotics now. I know there's others here dealing with things like this, please share because it's really good to open up.. this is a safer place.

I probably wouldn't have gone at all. I avoid family functions at all costs. Unfortunately it seems to be rubbing off - my son told me today, "You know I get nervous when I'm around family members."

When I get in situations like that, I excuse myself to go to a corner store to get something (anything!) that they don't have available, usually an odd drink. Then I'd get whatever I needed to make myself more comfortable.

Wondering - why didn't you beg off? Sometimes avoiding social situations is actually the best thing to do. "So sorry, but I can't make it today. Next time, for sure." That does actually work.

ck2d wrote:I probably wouldn't have gone at all. I avoid family functions at all costs. Unfortunately it seems to be rubbing off - my son told me today, "You know I get nervous when I'm around family members."

When I get in situations like that, I excuse myself to go to a corner store to get something (anything!) that they don't have available, usually an odd drink. Then I'd get whatever I needed to make myself more comfortable.

Wondering - why didn't you beg off? Sometimes avoiding social situations is actually the best thing to do. "So sorry, but I can't make it today. Next time, for sure." That does actually work.

Sometimes it happens that avoiding certain situations IS the best option, you're right. But we must choose our battles wisely. If we are to overcome this fear we take baby steps forward. If I'm not sure whether an event will be better avoiding or not, I usually go. Got to get out of the house sometime.

There were times in school where we played BINGO in class and I'd get a BINGO but not say anything. That piece of candy wasn't worth the focused attention on me.

There was an assembly in the gym on the final day of 8th grade. There were prizes being given away using some random method of choosing names out of the entire student body. Well, my name got called and I ended up going up and getting my award - a clock. It was a good clock with a CD alarm, etc. It came in mighty handy in the ensuing years. Ironically, I used the alarm on it to wake me up for school pretty much everyday in high school. Looking back, I am glad I went up there to get the alarm clock. I knew at the time it would have caused more attention had I not gone up. But in that moment if I could have gotten away with not having any attention on me at all in exchange for not having the alarm clock, I foolishly would have chosen to get away with no attention/no alarm clock.

In this case he had the extenuating circumstance of the tooth ache. Looking at the long term picture (being more comfortable around others) does not trump a temporary short term real problem (the tooth ache). If he was making excuses like, my lucky underwear were in the wash, then I'd say push through it. But you need to take care of yourself. Putting yourself and your problems last is not the way to integrate yourself in society. If you can't be good to yourself when there is a need, how can you ever trust that anyone else will be good to you?

Jason Raub, my family hates me, well, they try to say they don't, but I know otherwise, so I act out in my own way. I do hide when I can but when I need something I come out in the open and take it without any complaints from anyone, and if there are going to be any complaints, there's going to be a fight because I am ready for it.... I don't have an air of superiority concerning my family, just entitlement, since they f'ed me up so bad when I was a child and did nothing about it, no therapy; they let my mental illness go unchecked for so long and tried to convince me nothing was wrong with me, all the while constantly telling me "you need to calm the f' down!"

So now I just rip the filter off with these people. It scares my mother. She doesn't like the "elevated" me, but she really doesn't have a choice, she's the one that emotionally abused me throughout my teenage years.

So, instead of walking around with pain pills and popping them like they are going out of style, create some of your own pain, pain in someone else's teeth. Kenneth Burke said "life is drama". Behave this way. These people fear you, not the other way around.

Have you considered seeing a dentist?