i think i messed up?

Trying Plenty Of Fish. Depending on how things go, I may try other sites as well.

Plenty of fish is a hook up site. My sister tried it a few years back and found that the guys were flaky and/or sleezy. One guy actually said "didn't you know this site is for casual hooking up only?" If that's what you want, that's cool, but be prepared for low quality people. I still think you'll have better luck at a meet up or club of some kind. It might be worth it to take a class at the local community college just to be back in that environment again.

See if anything looks interesting in your area: http://www.meetup.com/

Internet dating has a bad reputation on the whole and it's probably deserved. Still it's an option I think is at least worth trying. No I'm not looking for casual hookups so I know this will probably be rather difficult. I went to a few meetups about a month ago, I may look through that site again. I've thought about learning some practical skill or trade at the community college. Might look at that as well. School is hard for me though as college was so expensive and often seems like it was a total waste of time and money.

You might as well try online dating, even if it's just an experiment. It's good practice to chat with people about inane things because that's what dating is all about anyway.

If you're going to try taking a class, pottery is a good stress release and women love a man who does pottery ever since Patrick Swayze made it sexy in Ghost. As for meet ups, I can't personally attest to their effectiveness, but I know some people who participate regularly and meet quality people. It makes the process so much easier when you know for a fact that you have something in common with someone you're interested in approaching.

no harm in trying... try ok cupid to, i think thats prolly the best one.

littlewing wrote: to chat with people about inane things because that's what dating is all about anyway.

how much % of this statement is true and how much % is joke?

littlewing wrote:If you're going to try taking a class, pottery is a good stress release and women love a man who does pottery ever since Patrick Swayze made it sexy in Ghost. It makes the process so much easier when you know for a fact that you have something in common with someone you're interested in approaching.

In a way it's indeed easier when joining a club and approaching someone you already know, but on the other hand this also creates a new barrier: (s)he could tell to other people in the club about your approach attempt, this may burst your "image" of coolness that you built up so carefully.

My issue is that I don't want to get to know people. If I'm around people and there's nothing going back and forth between us, I'm cool. I absolutely freak out when someone acknowledges me. So I'd be fine in the class, but I'd be completely mute, and if someone talked to me, it would be all I could do to keep going. For some people the "getting out there to meet people" might work, but for others, it would be hell on earth.

doubt it would be any better for you unless you changed your view of it then. you should start thinking other people are actually nice or something..

Supposedly my problem is I look for and soak up negative reactions and ignore or freak out when I have a positive reaction. I think most people are capable of being nice. I just also think that they're capable of being horrible, and am constantly on the alert for when they attack me. It's draining. Being around people sucks me dry. I can be a "people person," but only if I completely ignore every other part of my life. I've got to find some middle ground, some balance, to be around people. I know it's pathetic and sad, but I'm working on it. Little baby steps will eventually add up to actual change.