First Post - Saying Hello

@Kevin

I forgot to ask you, where you wrote: "If I had my way, I'd never step outside the door again though." Can you expand a little on why you feel this way? Is it because you feel sick and tired of people's bullcrap or is it that it just doesn't feel rewarding enough to be around others? Or something else. Just curious about your thoughts.

I have a ways to go but I've already felt this way on occassion. I know over the years I haven't built up much in the way of being social with others and sometimes it feels like a pain in the ass to do so now. Speaking for myself, I'm not looking to become a social butterfly of any sorts. I just want to feel better about myself when I'm around others so I can have a more functional life. I used to crave relationships but not so much now. Although I think having a couple of good friends would be great, someone to talk $#%^ with and go with to the odd event or what have you.

Rusty

Rustynail wrote:Hey Kevin, I agree wholeheartedly. That's about where I'm at right now, putting the rubber to the road so to speak. My ability to go into local shops still feels a little awkward at times. Further out from home I have less problem than ever before. I can now walk around a store and still feel quite comfortable with myself with little to no anxiety. That's a big change for me. Some of the habitual negative thinking is still going on with me and can still get the best of me on some days. This is going take some time putting to rest. I'm going through a pretty rough time financially and relationship wise right now so I know that's not helping the situation any.

That's good rusty, but please try to continue pushing yourself further and further. Try setting yourself newer targets each time you achieve old ones. That is how I overcame my agoraphobia years ago.

Rustynail wrote:@Kevin
I forgot to ask you, where you wrote: "If I had my way, I'd never step outside the door again though." Can you expand a little on why you feel this way? Is it because you feel sick and tired of people's bullcrap or is it that it just doesn't feel rewarding enough to be around others? Or something else. Just curious about your thoughts.

I said that because each time I step outside the door, my levels of stress automatically rise. I spent my entire youth indoors and away from people, so being outside and surrounded by people doesn't come naturaly to me. i'm much more relaxed when I'm either on my own at home or with someone who I can trust and don't feel as if I have to talk to. My father was comfortable to be around, for example, because he's very quiet like me and there's no need to talk.

Hello, Rusty.

I am an oldster too (40 this year), and I've never been in any kind of relationship. That's probably weird even for an avoidant. I'm not shy talking to people, so no one would ever know my inexperience if I didn't admit it. There are just MAJOR issues if someone wants me to go deeper than mere acquaintanceship.

I have noticed these forums comprise mostly young people. I suspect it's because young adulthood is the time of life when people are searching for themselves and doing a lot of questioning, including, sometimes, their own sanity. It's also a common time of life when people first present with symptoms of major mental disorders.

So where does that leave me....? Well, stuck in the past, I guess. Just sayin'. Welcome.

IvoryBill wrote:Hello, Rusty.

I am an oldster too (40 this year), and I've never been in any kind of relationship. That's probably weird even for an avoidant. I'm not shy talking to people, so no one would ever know my inexperience if I didn't admit it. There are just MAJOR issues if someone wants me to go deeper than mere acquaintanceship.

I have noticed these forums comprise mostly young people. I suspect it's because young adulthood is the time of life when people are searching for themselves and doing a lot of questioning, including, sometimes, their own sanity. It's also a common time of life when people first present with symptoms of major mental disorders.

So where does that leave me....? Well, stuck in the past, I guess. Just sayin'. Welcome.

Hey IvoryBill,

Thanks for the welcome! I can relate to feeling stuck in the past. I'm doing better with that now but I know my emotional maturity was stunted a long time ago. Not in the sense that I went around acting younger than I was but more how I felt about certain aspects of life and how I shared myself with others.

I agree that being a young adult is a time of questioning and looking back now I don't think I did a very good job of it at the time. Of course midlife can also be one of those times as well. The infamous midlife crisis. Some question whether this type of crisis even exists but I’ve read that people who have AvPD can find this time of life (not surprisingly) especially hard. Probably impacts us in some ways, how much, who knows for sure.


Rusty