Avoidants and Sex

I'm fairly sure that i'm schizoid, (the criteria mostly match) but suspect that part of me is avoidant as well. The thing that makes me think, is whether or not avoidants can get pleasure from sex. That's if any avoidants have ever had sex, as a teen growing up, i had sex a couple of times but could not get any pleasure from being that close to another person, i just wondered if an avpds had ever had sex and enjoyed it.

I know this is a bit of a no-go area subject but it something that fascinates me about avoidants, you know what you want but fear/anxiety keeps you away from it, whereas schizoids know what they want (isolation) and they usually get it because its easy to push people away and live alone inside your own head.

Hi,

This is'nt a 'no go' area at all and I'm glad that you have brought the issue up. There's no rule which states whether or not AvPD sufferers can/can't get pleasure from sex though. It depends on a huge amount of factors, of course, but i's not as if the moment you are diagnosed with AvPD that you automatically don't get pleasure from sex. I'm sure that there are many ppl out there with AvPD who are masters at sex, while there are many others who are fearful of it. One thing that might interest you is that some males who are depressed and anxious are shown to have low levels of testosterone in their blood, which obviously results in them having little interest in sex.

Kevin

Low testosterone? Perhaps, but i get pleasure from sexual release, just not from other people.

I don't understand. Are you implying that you get pleaseure from masturbating nut not actual intercourse with another person?

I thought avoidants enjoy/thrive on "supply" just like other PDs? It's just that they don't get it very often in real life so they fantasize instead. But when an avoidant does manage to get some in real life, they ought to enjoy it, no?
Well, I'm not AvPD but I do have some some of the traits, and personally I love supply when I have it.

erm... i've had sex a couple of times and i can't say that i've enoyed it probably because i was hammered (did have the courage to do it in a sober condition), but i don't see any reason why an avoidant could not enjoy sex... anxiety? well, if you did get someone to "open up" to you, i would imagine that you must be getting on pretty well with that person, unless you are drunk and therefore not as anxious anyway. masturbation on the other hand, isn't fun at all... poronography just doesn't turn me on anymore

I used the care a lot about losing my virginity, but I just don't care much anymore. My sex drive is pretty strange. I want sex, and sexual release, but I see a good looking girl and I just don't care. Women just don't turn me on much anymore. I still see them as beautiful and sexy, but I have no desire to have sex with anyone. Maybe my sex drive just plummeted, I don't know.

Even when I did have a high libido, I never saw sex as worth the pain, effort and money to get. I wanted it, but I didn't wanna wade through the crap to get it.

i know what you're saying CSRevenant. Whenever i see beautiful women, I surely don't feel sexully turn on by them, in fact i feel quite the opposite. i feel terrible, because i think to myself that i could never be with someone like her or even close. I almost feel something like electricity going through my body at times - its shocking alright but hey, i believe that if some kind of a miracle does happen and you find someone, the sexual drive will come back in a blink of an eye.

I enjoyed sex very much, when I was getting some.
That was a long time ago now.

I feel that every girl I see is out of my league because I'm the most disgusting person to ever walk the face of the planet.
I don't even bother to try and find a girlfriend anymore because I know I'll be rejected.
And we can't have that now can we.

yeah, that's the problem - fear of rejection.
as somebody important once said, "we are willing to go much further to avoid what we fear than to obtain what we desire"