Any Avoidants in their 30's+ ???

Hi all, I'm 34, female, Avoidant from way back. Would like to get to know some fellow Avoidants in my age bracket if possible but would welcome any/all new friendships. I have given up on "real life" relationships. I just don't play well with other humans, I don't think. I do work full time; I just have no life outside of being a mom and going to work. Mostly that is all right with me but I do get lonely sometimes. I have had a stressful life to some degree, but I guess I can say that most of it, I brought on myself by making poor decisions. Well, I hope you get to know some of you and I wish everyone a nice holiday.

Hi HermitCrab

I'm almost in my 30's. I'll be 27 next month. I have problems connecting and bonding with other people. The friendships I had through high school and college are no more now. It saddens me, but it is all my doing. I push people away. I would love to talk about being avoidant, since I don't know anyone else who has this problem. Hit me up some time.

I feel where you're coming from Hermit and can VERY MUCH relate to you. I'm a married 36 y/o male with a 36 y/o wife that may also have it.

34 here... full time professional job, buying a house, and completely alone. I've also given up on real life relationships. The only people I could possibly meet are at work, and I certainly don't want to be friends with anyone at work.

You're lucky to have a child. I don't even have a pet.

I'm 29. You're lucky you can function so well. I am extremely intelligent, but find work experiences excruciating due to all the necessary social contact. I have been struggling so hard to find a career that is good enough for me, but allows me the freedom to work on my own - there just are not a lot of careers out there for AvPDs it seems. I'm fluent in Russian among many other things, but I took a job as a nanny for one child because with AvPD that was all I could handle - it allowed me minimal contact with people (or should have).

Adna wrote:I'm 29. You're lucky you can function so well. I am extremely intelligent, but find work experiences excruciating due to all the necessary social contact. I have been struggling so hard to find a career that is good enough for me, but allows me the freedom to work on my own - there just are not a lot of careers out there for AvPDs it seems. I'm fluent in Russian among many other things, but I took a job as a nanny for one child because with AvPD that was all I could handle - it allowed me minimal contact with people (or should have).

I'm a computer programmer so I don't have to interact with people on a daily basis. Of course there is some interaction required - sometimes I have to work with another person, or make sure the users like some new program - but I could go the whole day without talking to anyone if I wanted to.

No way could I handle the a job that required a lot of conversion, like being a translator.

Best of luck in your search.

Ha ha! Funny you say that. My last job was as a translator (or interpreter, rather). How stupid. I should have known this job would not work for me. I was on the spot all the time, everyone looking at me, waiting for me to speak. Everything hinged on what I said - and not making mistakes in translations. Aside from being extremely taxing on your brain (you have to think damn fast and accurately for the language part), but having any social phobia to boot just makes it one's worst nightmare. I guess the reason I took it was because my consolation was it paid so well I only had to work very little to get by - the rest of the time I was totally free. It would have been my dream, had work not been so stressful.

Hi,
Im a 36 y.o. female with APD - I function pretty well - maintain a f/t job but my personal life is relatively non existent. I do have 2 good friends and keep in touch (on a very limited basis) with my family but everyone else are acquaintences.

I was really heavy as a child - my parents, brothers and sisters were very rejecting as were my peers. I remember standing in front of a mirror when I was 11 or so and saying to myself the worst possible things about me, how disgusting I was, how stupid - the most horrible names .. so no matter what anybody said to me, it wouldn't be painful anymore (yeah that worked really well)

I suffered from depression for a long time. In retrospect I feel that social anxiety along with APD caused my depression - and then a vic=cious cycle set in.

So - here I am -- professional skinny, lonely, and pathetic

i am 40 now...adhd and PDDNOS with reluctant signs of AvPD

oh yeah...and they say my IQ is in the way.....i seem to fake appropriate behavior...

btw....thx dad for ruining our family with your constant stressing

still struggling....

Brrrt