Hate myself

ShadowTerra wrote:Could it have something to do with the environment you're in right now? What you said about people looking at you weird for not having a gf reminds me of how judgmental people are where I live. I am trying to hold out hope that once I'm in a position to leave this environment, life will get a bit better. (Probably not by much, because I'll have the same insecurities, but still...) Is that a possibility for you?

Ever since my sister moved, iv been feeling worse about myself. Shes my only friend and can always put things in perspective for me. Now i hardly talk to her, its tough. Just hard to go on when the only thing that gives you hope is death. I cant kill myself though because i know how bad it hurts when a loved one attempts suicide. I just couldnt bring myself to do that to my family, so im stuck living a life that i want no parts of.

I relate to that, I cant kill myself because it would make others sad, I don’t enjoy life, I just survive, exist, dredging through each day.

Try to become a zombie, it helps. Rawr!

Cirvante wrote:Try to become a zombie, it helps. Rawr!

Funny you said that can really relate to zombies. Always loved zombie movies and video games lol.

Coati wrote:I relate to that, I cant kill myself because it would make others sad, I don’t enjoy life, I just survive, exist, dredging through each day.

Ok, ok! I´m glad that you care of the people who love and you love. That shows you have a great sense of responsability and ethics. Who knows if in a way, in a moment, or in different moments you won´t get the strenght to fight your fears, to find some kind of balance, to love and respect a bit yourself, honey. Never, ever, ever, ever thow the towel.

well, what can i say... you are not alone buddy, i know how it feels.
i thought about killing myself many times, but just like Coati, i would hate to hurt my family who would be upset to see me end up that way. instead i just wanna slowly drift away from them, so that they don't have to watch my life go down the drain. But lately i've been beginning to feel envious and hateful towards people in general. this is probably not very healthy, even my fantasy world is filled with scorn and vengeance. And i'm only 20, i hate to think of what i'll be like when im 25, because my life isn't getting better. Anyways, there are people who will understand you on this forum and sometimes it actually help to just let it out. I may sounds extremely pessimistic, but don't give up on yourself until your heart stops beating, afterall, maybe there is light in the end of the tonnel...

FrontierPsychiatrist wrote: Work on accepting yourself and being comfortable with you.

I would love to but i dont even know where to begin. How do you build confidence when you have nothing to be confident about? It would be like trying to build a house without a foundation.

the pain wrote:

FrontierPsychiatrist wrote: Work on accepting yourself and being comfortable with you.

I would love to but i dont even know where to begin. How do you build confidence when you have nothing to be confident about? It would be like trying to build a house without a foundation.

Come on, there would be something you like in yourself. Think about your possitive values. Everybody has got them. I´m sure if you try you´ll be beginning a new start.

twistermind wrote:
Come on, there would be something you like in yourself. Think about your possitive values. Everybody has got them. I´m sure if you try you´ll be beginning a new start.

Sure positive values are great and all, just dont seem to hold much weight.

the pain wrote:

twistermind wrote:
Come on, there would be something you like in yourself. Think about your possitive values. Everybody has got them. I´m sure if you try you´ll be beginning a new start.

Sure positive values are great and all, just dont seem to hold much weight.

Did you mean in nowadays society? I think I didn´t explain very well. I didn´t want to mean great values as Justice, Faithful, Sincerity...No, I wanted to refer to attitudes and aptituds. Everybody has them. It´s only that you can´t see anything good in yourself because of many reasons: someone told you that you were not good enough in something or you are blocked out or depressive. Really, trust in me, you can find your way in this life, a sense for it and first of all is to accept yourself as a person without any condiction. Your good and your bad points.
I´m sure you could write down a long list of things that you don´t like in you. But this is the job you do everyday, what about a change. Think about your strong points, abilities, etc. And hold them on. I´m sure you´ll discover many others. Don´t miss your hope.
Let´s put an example. Imagine you are a quiet person. Ok, so give you a breath and let you to be the best listener for a time. Asking questions, paying attention to what other people are telling you. At the end, you don´t need to be another different person. There are people who has more ability to talk to others and are more extroverts.
I don´t want to mean that you don´t need to improve the things you don´t like but give importance to these aspects of your personality that you like. It´s very important.
I hope this help you a bit.
If you want, post more information in the thread and if I can help you in some way, I´ll try.