how bad is it?

Parador wrote:I think that's when you're supposed to grab her and stick your tongue down her throat

ahahaha, i probably should have done that, then she definitely wouldn't have forgotten about me that easily! =)

Parador wrote:or talk about the coming zombie apocolypse. You have a plan right? Tell her about it.

its interesting that you brought it up, but when i find myself around a trusted group of people, say my family, i may talk about things like that without sounding ridiculous, when on the other hand i know that my performance is being judged, i become extremely cautious about the things i may want to bring up for discussion, in fact that cautious, that i end up limiting my options to zero, just coz im afraid to sound silly.

Parador wrote:Maybe you should treat yourself to a hooker after every 3 failures. That could be your carrot. The stick? The thought that you'll end up a 40 year old depraved virgin like ol' Parador

treating yourself to a hooker after a certain number of failures, or attempts i should say (which sounds better because you never know, you may surprise yourself and succeed) is a great reinforcer! =) because you'll be motivated to try. But the main thing here is to keep trying, i guess the best trait one may have in such situation, is resilience and nerves of steel... Parador, you may be older than many of us here and sounds like it's been tough for you... but life isn't over, right? you know, sometimes, i think that the most simple perception of this world is the best one. Forget about the way its all ought to be, about all those socially constructed criteria of fulfillment and try to at least temporarily forget and let go of all those negative things that have happened to you and do things that you enjoy doing, even the little things... treat yourself to a moment of peace and carelessness once a day. I understand, its much easier said than done, but that may well be a good starting point.