So what do I do now?

I'm unhappy.

I have been for as long as I can remember.
Its becoming worse. Even at times when I know I'm not having a depressive episode I'm still not feeling even remotely good about myself.

I am becoming increasingly withdrawn from friends and family, and having conversations with anyone feels like a chore.
I just can't be bothered anymore, it feels like I've wasted the best part of my life and its not going to get any better.
I think I'm giving up hope of ever being happy.

This all came to a head the other day when I was lying on my bathroom floor feeling sick as a dog, but being unable to vomit, after taking some Hawaiian Baby woodrose seeds.
I decided that if I was unhappy enough to make myself feel that bad, just to try and change myself or the experience of myself for a few hours, I must be deeply and horribly depressed.

I don't want to feel like this anymore. I think professional help is the best option.
The problem is I'm terrified of going to the doctors.
What if they don't believe me, or it turns out I'm just like everyone else and there's nothing they can do to help me.

So yeah, what experience have others had of seeking professional help for AvPD and depression?

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I’m afraid that my experience is that doctors, psychologists, and certified mental health councilors are morons. You may have to talk to a dozen before you find one with half a brain.
It is best to go in prepared. You have to be ready to advocate for yourself. Look up treatment options and push for the treatment you think is best for you.

Parador wrote:I’m afraid that my experience is that doctors, psychologists, and certified mental health councilors are morons. You may have to talk to a dozen before you find one with half a brain.
It is best to go in prepared. You have to be ready to advocate for yourself. Look up treatment options and push for the treatment you think is best for you.

Even if he were to go to a Psychiatrist or w/e that was not top-notch intellectually, at the very least some good advice could be offered, and it would be a good step in the right direction. Even a moron with an education can give 'some' useful advice. He might not be able to solve all your issues, but he may help you identify a few or at the very least get you accustom to the whole process.

From my experience, and I have only ever seen 1 doctor, it is not an unpleasant experience. There will be some discomfort at times, but nothing major. The doctor will not say directly that you are perfectly normal and should go away, or straight up not believe anything you have to say. Your not going to get hurt in any way, they aren't going to insult you. Their job is to listen to what you have to say, and then help you overcome whatever it is you wish to overcome by seeing them. If they by any means offend you, they are knowingly going to lose you as a patient, hence, they will avoid offending you in any way. No harm will come from seeking a profession.


You may want to try just exercising. Next time you want to curl up in a ball and die, or start thinking how #######5 your life is, just drop down and do as many push-ups as you can. Do as many sit-ups and w/e else you can do until your exhausted. Then relax, maybe take a shower or eat/drink something. Hopefully you will feel a little bit better. If not, at least you burned some calories and may get stronger if you continue to do this =)

Thanks people.

I think I'll make an appointment to see the doctor at some point. I'll probably take the whole day off.

I'll definitely try the exercise thing. I think life song made a similar point in another thread.