I Feel Like Such A Pathetic Loser Right Now

twistermind wrote:

Peptron wrote:

Chucky wrote:People on this website are very vulnerable, and they will become hurt by the negativity that has been seen here.

What is the negativity that was here? Is telling an avoidant "You do not actually suck" considered negative?

My feel on this thread seems to be resumable that way:
Avoidant: I suck...
Infiltrator: No you don't.
Avoidant: OMG! Why are you so mean?...
Infiltrator: mmm... ok then, you do suck.
Avoidant: OMG! Why are you so mean?...
Infiltrator: WTF?

Here we have the third musketeer!

I have to say that this entire "I suck" mentality is probably "THE" thing that I have an hard time understanding about avoidants. I can understand the hyperemotionality and the anxiety as they are very common to many other disorders. What I had the most time to understand is that, objectively, the avoidants I known did not actually suck at all, except for their entire "I suck" mentality. Their only real failure was thinking that they were failure. As if their own being was inherently unacceptable.

I'll try to give a better example of what I am saying. Let's say you have two people with generalized anxiety disorder, one of them being avoidant. The one that is not avoidant will be very likely to curse his anxiety, telling how his anxiety is preventing him from doing what he wants. To him, his anxiety is not really part of him, but he will instead see is as a defect in his brain or something like that. But with the avoidant it's not that at all. It's like an avoidant will insisit that it's not so much that they have an anxiety disorder, but rather that they inherently suck just like that. As if their anxiety really was their fault at the core and do not seem to want to put it on some other biological faction instead. For an avoidant, it seems that every single thing has to be brought back to the ego. What I am trying to say is best represented on what some avoidants can end up saying: "I do not think that I am actually avoidant, that would imply some form of disorder out of my control; I think that I really do inherently suck as a person."

I'll try to give a better example of what I am saying. Let's say you have two people with generalized anxiety disorder, one of them being avoidant. The one that is not avoidant will be very likely to curse his anxiety, telling how his anxiety is preventing him from doing what he wants. To him, his anxiety is not really part of him, but he will instead see is as a defect in his brain or something like that. But with the avoidant it's not that at all. It's like an avoidant will insisit that it's not so much that they have an anxiety disorder, but rather that they inherently suck just like that. As if their anxiety really was their fault at the core and do not seem to want to put it on some other biological faction instead. For an avoidant, it seems that every single thing has to be brought back to the ego. What I am trying to say is best represented on what some avoidants can end up saying: "I do not think that I am actually avoidant, that would imply some form of disorder out of my control; I think that I really do inherently suck as a person."

Yeah but that's why it's a PD. It's a bit like someone going onto the NPD forum and saying " If you show a bit of humility you may be a bit more likable" or saying to a Borderline " quit being so ######6 moody all the time". It's a PD, if avoidants stopped having such low self worth then they wouldn't be avoidant.

Repetative conversations are fun.

morning star wrote:

I'll try to give a better example of what I am saying. Let's say you have two people with generalized anxiety disorder, one of them being avoidant. The one that is not avoidant will be very likely to curse his anxiety, telling how his anxiety is preventing him from doing what he wants. To him, his anxiety is not really part of him, but he will instead see is as a defect in his brain or something like that. But with the avoidant it's not that at all. It's like an avoidant will insisit that it's not so much that they have an anxiety disorder, but rather that they inherently suck just like that. As if their anxiety really was their fault at the core and do not seem to want to put it on some other biological faction instead. For an avoidant, it seems that every single thing has to be brought back to the ego. What I am trying to say is best represented on what some avoidants can end up saying: "I do not think that I am actually avoidant, that would imply some form of disorder out of my control; I think that I really do inherently suck as a person."

Yeah but that's why it's a PD. It's a bit like someone going onto the NPD forum and saying " If you show a bit of humility you may be a bit more likable" or saying to a Borderline " quit being so ######6 moody all the time". It's a PD, if avoidants stopped having such low self worth then they wouldn't be avoidant.

Ding ding ding! We have a winnah!

But seriously... I think the moral of this story is:
PLEASE
DO NOT
FEED THE
TROLLS
An overview for the uninitiated: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troll_(Internet)

ShadowTerra wrote:Ding ding ding! We have a winnah!

But seriously... I think the moral of this story is:
PLEASE
DO NOT
FEED THE
TROLLS
An overview for the uninitiated: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troll_(Internet)

But we are hungry ...

hmm, I have succeeded in what I wanted to do, which was steer the thread in a new direction. I have made a fool of myself, but so be it - At least you all took the bait.

... ...and our dear friend Cirvante here is hungry. Maybe it was he who took the bait the most?; or maybe it was you - eric - who took the bait before Cirvante could even get any! Be sure to share out the bait in future, so that we can all look like fools and not feel 'hungry'.

This thread is pretty off topic now. Shall I lock it and let you all move on from here to better/fresher pastures?

Kevin

This thread cannot be closed before this piece of wisdom:

-Do you know what is worse than a pathetic loser?
-An apathetic loser.

Good - Thread locked.