What are your reasons for not reaching out to friends?

My question may or may not apply to everyone. I'm curious to know why you tend not to take the initiative and ask friends to hang out, do stuff, etc.

I'm sure the #1 answer for most of us would be fear of rejection, since that's one of the hallmarks of AvPD, in my understanding.

I am very passive in friendships (or making them in the first place). I tend to wait for others to invite me.

I tend to think so little of myself that I assume it would make people feel awkward if I made the initiative in anything. First of all, I am concerned about "being a bother" in the first place, just by introducing myself in any way. Second of all, I assume that I am only ever asked along by friends because they feel sorry for me.

I'm not saying my reasons are rational, I don't think they are. Identifying them is a step to improving my life.

What are your reasons for not reaching out?

I don't really have friends. Just people I met.

Parador wrote:I don't really have friends. Just people I met.

Likewise. Most people can't stand being around me. I can be a total asshole sometimes.

I talk to a few people in school who probably consider me their friend even though i don't. I think the last time i hung out with a friend was 8 months ago. Most of the time i don't feel like being around other people and If by some chance i do feel like hanging out with someone my anxiety and paranoia starts to kick in and tells me i'll just be rejected or embarrassed about something.

Parador wrote:I don't really have friends. Just people I met.

Same here.

trents wrote:My question may or may not apply to everyone. I'm curious to know why you tend not to take the initiative and ask friends to hang out, do stuff, etc.

I'm sure the #1 answer for most of us would be fear of rejection, since that's one of the hallmarks of AvPD, in my understanding.

I am very passive in friendships (or making them in the first place). I tend to wait for others to invite me.

I tend to think so little of myself that I assume it would make people feel awkward if I made the initiative in anything. First of all, I am concerned about "being a bother" in the first place, just by introducing myself in any way. Second of all, I assume that I am only ever asked along by friends because they feel sorry for me.

I'm not saying my reasons are rational, I don't think they are. Identifying them is a step to improving my life.

What are your reasons for not reaching out?

My reasons are: low self-steem and as you, fear to bother them. Ah, and because I neither reach out myself. Ah, because I´m afraid of suffering, and I´m afraif of this I desire.
I don´t know if I have been able to explain myself very well.

I don't really have friends. Just people I met.

Dito

There are two people that I consider good people and generally like going to see them. But that happens about 4 times a year. Hardly significant. I probably remember everything about the last time I saw them, whilst I'm still shocked they can remember who I am everytime we meet up.

trents wrote: #1 answer for most of us would be fear of rejection,

I tend to wait for others to invite me.

I assume it would make people feel awkward if I made the initiative in anything.

I am concerned about "being a bother" in the first place.


I assume that I am only ever asked along by friends because they feel sorry for me.

pretty much the things you said

emotionaltyphoon wrote:

I don't really have friends. Just people I met.

Dito

There are two people that I consider good people and generally like going to see them. But that happens about 4 times a year. Hardly significant. I probably remember everything about the last time I saw them, whilst I'm still shocked they can remember who I am everytime we meet up.

Because they are really friends of you. That´s beautiful.

I don't consider going out with friends to be a good use of my free time. Every time I think about hanging out with someone I think of how much it could possibly suck and be boring. It's only with my really close friends that this doesn't happen.

I can truly relax and be fine when I'm by myself doing exactly what I want to do. I love kicking back and listening to music or playing the occasional video game. I love being able to think to myself. People tend to get in the way of what I want to do, because being social isn't one of them.