Over analyzing everything.

by **YarlSoutan** » Thu Jan 15, 2009 11:04 pm

Asuka wrote:I suppose I hav'nt started a thread in awhile. When I'm composing an important text message or an email,particulary if has an emotional investment, it's like writing a bloody thesis. Seriously, I first write out on microsoft word. Then I start to compose it in my draft. I leave it for an hour. I read it again. I edit and analayze in order that my words are not misinterpreted. I consider every possible interpretation and every possible outcome of each respective interpretation of each draft. Crazy,huh?

Well, I think this may be the remnants of my O.C.B. Still, it's really annoying. I wish I could just be more carefree and stop analyzing everything. I mean it's not just confined to the aforementioned. It's everything! Replies from texts and emails, conversations(although not so much in the AvPD stlye "did I screw up" manner anymore.)
I mean it's good for psychology and the humanites as that requires alot of critical thinking and analysis. However, I wish I could just leave it go in "the real world".

I.....am......self....obsessed.

Can any one relate to this?

Perhaps this should go in the It might be worth: what are your qualities? thread?
http://psychforums.com/viewtopic.php?t=33781&highlight=

Asuka wrote:Well sometimes it can be stressful. For example I could end up thinking of possible misinterpretations for just about anything I say and end up quite drained. I'd like to be more spontaneous in these sort of things. The problem is sometimes I'm too spontaneous and say things which are misinterpreted negatively. I'm a very "extremes" person. I think I became like that as a result of getting rid of my OCB, which was really bad at one stage. I got out of it by not giving a $#%^. I went from one extreme to the other.
But not all the OCB is gone, like this example.

Hmmm I can see where that would trouble you. Well I would think its better to care about something to the point of distress than to not care. Maybe if you were to make a pros and cons list with regards to these extremes, it would help to see if this isn't just a blessing in disguise.

by **Jessica's Hope** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 12:23 am

Asuka wrote:I suppose I hav'nt started a thread in awhile. When I'm composing an important text message or an email,particulary if has an emotional investment, it's like writing a bloody thesis. Seriously, I first write out on microsoft word. Then I start to compose it in my draft. I leave it for an hour. I read it again. I edit and analayze in order that my words are not misinterpreted. I consider every possible interpretation and every possible outcome of each respective interpretation of each draft. Crazy,huh?

I use Word to draft emails too! And a lot of times i take a long time to respond to things because i have to re-write the email over and over. Also, i struggle with words and i try to make sure i pick the right ones.

Well, I think this may be the remnants of my O.C.B. Still, it's really annoying. I wish I could just be more carefree and stop analyzing everything. I mean it's not just confined to the aforementioned. It's everything! Replies from texts and emails, conversations(although not so much in the AvPD stlye "did I screw up" manner anymore.)
I mean it's good for psychology and the humanites as that requires alot of critical thinking and analysis. However, I wish I could just leave it go in "the real world".

I.....am......self....obsessed.

Can any one relate to this?

The worst part is analyzing a conversation for hours afterwards. I do that a lot. Just one sentance can ruin my entire day.

by **Palaner** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 2:38 am

A good book to read would be "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. It's a great resource for learning how to turn your mind off.

Because that's what your mind is--a computer. Your tool. If you let it run, it will continue to run. Stop identifying with the thoughts and the emotions, because they encourage a reactive form of existence. The shift to a proactive form of living begins when you just don't care anymore.

Of course, that doesn't sound so easy, does it? Everything in your head reinforces itself. Maybe I'll write a post in my thread about that.

by **coldhands** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 4:12 am

I do the same.
The worst are text messages.
It's so hard to sense the tone that it's meant to be in.
I tend to interpretate it in either extremes - positive or negative.
So when I get a text message what I do is I say it in my head, first the most negative sounding way and then the most positive sounding way and then I choose the middle ground between those two.

by **IsAB** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 11:45 am

I can relate too, 5 times out of 10 re-wording everything so that it cant be mis-interpreted is so frustrating that i skip replying to a thread or an email alltogether.

by **CriminallyVulgar** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 2:16 pm

All avoidants over-analyze things. I think it was in one of the big long stickys at the top that mentions how avoidants are too busy analyzing and monitoring everything in their environment to to pick up on subtle social cues, making us very awkward.

I do everything that has been mentioned here so far, I think about and edit any textual communication for very long peroiods of time. I analyze all social interactions for long periods of time after they happen and beat myself up over how they went.

by **Ethera** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 3:32 pm

I can relate really well to this...it takes me hours to write emails. Txts take a long time too. I think it's partially due to the fact that its so easy to misinterperate these forms of communication and if i don't get a reply it is going to eat me up inside. Are they mad at me? Should i have used that emote? Do i seem like i don't care? I have to be absolutely positive that i've said what i mean to say. I will often focus on single words to the point where i will go look them up in a dictionary to be sure it doesn't have some hidden alternate meaning that i might not know about. I never realized i was ocd about this but i guess it's kinda an extreme way of handling simple interactions...i could never be able to express my thoughts so well in actual conversation. It takes too freakin' long to figure out the right way to say everything!

Over analyzing everything.

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