People who tell you to "smile".

Maybe we should all become clowns and paint a stupid smile on. Like JohnWayne Gacy.

I just wish those morons who tell me to smile could lead my life. They wouldn't be smiling either. For years I was working and going home at night to take care of my father who was slowly dying from Alzheimer's. And I'm supposed to feeaking smile - over WHAT?? I think I told someone that once when they told me to smile. At least that was something they could understand.

People tell me this all the time. Why should I smile? I have nothing to happy about. I would look like an idiot walking around grinning for no reason all the time.

Yes, I have always resented it 'on some level' when people have told me to smile or cheer up. At times my instant feelings of anger towards them have felt overwhelming and its been confusing because at surface level it seems like such a normal and friendly and 'helpful' kind of thing to say.

But I have since learned that my anger in these kinds of situations comes from a real and healthy place because telling someone to smile and cheer up is a form of invalidation. It would be much better if someone would ask me if there was anything wrong, would I like to talk, ask me how I was feeling. These are the kinds of things people say when they really care and want to help.

Telling someone to smile is like saying 'I'm not feeling comfortable with the way you are expressing who you are so change so that I can feel better'.

I'm not saying that when people tell me to smile, they are intentionally trying to hurt me, most people don't even plug in their brains before they start talking, have no idea the effects that their words are having on other people.

If you feel like it, instead of hitting someone in the head or insulting them back, you could ask them why your not smiling makes them feel uncomfortable or go into detail about the real reasons you are not feeling particularly happy. It will either start a 'real' conversation or have them running for cover and thinking twice before they tell you to smile again.

2forward1back wrote:If you feel like it, instead of hitting someone in the head or insulting them back, you could ask them why your not smiling makes them feel uncomfortable or go into detail about the real reasons you are not feeling particularly happy. It will either start a 'real' conversation or have them running for cover and thinking twice before they tell you to smile again.

I don't think the intimate details of my life are anyone's business. I told that one woman about my father's alzheimer's and it did shut her up. But I'm not doing that kind of thing with all the morons. Think we just have to make up stupid stories. How about this? My gf was gored to death while bullfighting in spain.

I do recall telling someone that my favorite plant had died once.

On the subject of overly cheery people, does anybody enjoy the movie "Bad Santa" as a Holiday tradition?

And boy do I hate Christmas music (it's a couple steps below elevator and country music in my opinion), as if going to an overly packed store isn't bad enough.

Bad Santa isn't great but it's better than other Christmas movies. I like the South Park Christmas stuff - Mr. Hankey the Christmas poo. And the one where Santa kills the satan worshiping forrest critters with a shotgun.

yea. its like when people ask "how are you?" in a normal conversation
and your supposed to answer " good"

id rather say something like "im digressing into my general mood of loneliness and instability, i really need someone to cuddle with"

how can a mood be summed up in one word.

yyyoshiii wrote:yea. its like when people ask "how are you?" in a normal conversation
and your supposed to answer " good"

id rather say something like "im digressing into my general mood of loneliness and instability, i really need someone to cuddle with"

how can a mood be summed up in one word.

If its someone I dont know, Ill say good, but its usually fake. If its someone I know I reply, "Horrid."

yyyoshiii wrote:yea. its like when people ask "how are you?" in a normal conversation
and your supposed to answer " good"

id rather say something like "im digressing into my general mood of loneliness and instability, i really need someone to cuddle with"

how can a mood be summed up in one word.

Let's make up our own word then. How about iflawp? Stands for "I feel like a worthless person."

You can watch the movie Bad Santa for free on youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhkhDXN_ ... E&index=66

I just love this movie because of what a great drunken misanthrope Billy Bob is.

On a side note, doesn't the John Ritter character look like he has social anxiety disorder, or avoidant personality disorder. Do any of his mannerisms remind you of somebody close you know, or maybe you feel like you are that way around people?

Does anybody know of any other movie characters who you think could possibly have AVPD?