Are we really that inoffensive?Thinking outside the box

trents wrote:To quote sex therapist Dan Savage, "That's what alcohol was invented for!" lol... I'm not condoning alcoholism, but sometimes a drink or two can help lower inhibitions. It can make sex more enjoyable, at least for the first few times. Just be careful not to get dependent on it.

I can totally relate to the comments in this thread. In my relationship history, I have either behaved super-clingy and insecure, or, at the other extreme, I appear ultra-detached and apathetic. Meanwhile, in both cases, the truth is I feel very insecure and fear rejection at almost every turn.

Lately (as in the last few people I have dated), I have tended to make sure I appear as very detached and apathetic. The clingy route did nothing for me. But the detached route doesn't work either, because the other person thinks I'm not interested and then it all fizzles away. Of course, I don't pursue, because I don't want to risk rejection.

The most recent relationship I had, there were so many issues that bothered me about the other's behaviour, but I remained silent for fear of rejection. I eventually grew so resentful that I lost any interest in sex or intimacy of any kind, even though I went through the motions, all because I didn't want to say "no" and create a confrontation. I finally got so fed up that I broke it off over email. Even a phone call would have meant I'd be vulnerable to a confrontation. This way, I could screen calls.

If that isn't ###$ up, I don't know what is, lol. I'm sure it must be frustrating dating an AvPD.