Do you think you'll die alone?

Maybe, who knows? I'm more concerned about whether I'll be in physical pain immediately before I die. I can deal with loneliness and loss, but not chronic pain.

Asuka wrote:

Stephen_4817 wrote:No, don't settle. Never settle. You should marry someone you really love.

I think everyone settles to a certain degree. My parents thought they loved each other and their divorced. Love is a neurosis.

When you say neurosis, do you mean like an illusion?

Most people die alone. Even if they have a partner who is sitting next to them all the time, they usually die at a moment when the partner is off for grocery shopping. But I guess this was not the essence of this thread.
I can't imagine that being married with a 'normal' guy would make me feel less lonely. I think it would make things worse to have someone around who doesn't really know me or understand me. I'm against marriage anyways. If I want to share the rest of my life with someone then this is something between two people and I wouldn't want the church or the government to be involved. I hate ceremonies.

Love is a neurosis.

I think love is rather a theoretical concept. Of course you can be 'in love' with someone, but this usually disappears after some time or after the other one makes a mistake. But true love would mean that you want the other person to be happy even if that means he/she is not with you but with someone else. Not realistic and not very healthy I think. And probably not necessary for a relationship.

I would just like to have a person I'm close to. When I was a child I thought I was close to my mother, but this wasn't actually true as she was just acting. Later I had one other person I was close to and I messed it up in the most stupid way. And with both persons I was missing the intellectual exchange. I don't trust people who think I'm intelligent and would believe everything I say. I would be better if someone take me seriously but is also critical.
i think if I would find someone like that I would become too clingy. So I see a chance that I'll die alone, without having anyone really close. And that's not other people's fault. Some 'friends' are close to me, but I'm not to them.
I might just expect too much.

I don't think, I know.

Asuka wrote:

Stephen_4817 wrote:No, don't settle.

I think everyone settles to a certain degree.

I guess it depends on what we mean by "settle." If we mean the person isn't your 100% ideal soulmate, yes, everyone settles. I got a different impression from the way "substitute" was being used though -- just a sort of stand-in who you didn't love or feel understood by, but someone to just fill the space and avoid being alone. I don't believe in that kind of settling.

Stephen_4817 wrote:

Asuka wrote:

Stephen_4817 wrote:No, don't settle.

I think everyone settles to a certain degree.

I guess it depends on what we mean by "settle." If we mean the person isn't your 100% ideal soulmate, yes, everyone settles. I got a different impression from the way "substitute" was being used though -- just a sort of stand-in who you didn't love or feel understood by, but someone to just fill the space and avoid being alone. I don't believe in that kind of settling.

There's nothing wrong with settling. In fact, it's a fundamental part of our lives. We can't have everything exactly as we want, or think we want, we have to make compromises, and we have to settle. I don't believe anyone actually has soul mates. A relationship is built around trust, attraction, understanding, and patience. It's not a miracle. I think the topic of this thread is silly, but I think it brings up a good point. Silly thoughts invade our minds sometimes. It can be beneficial to rehash your thought process by considering if there's much basis for your suspicions. With relationships, I think first impressions are very meaningful. Even if we don't remember much about someone, we have a good idea of how we met them. And that impression stays with us.

There's nothing wrong with settling. In fact, it's a fundamental part of our lives. We can't have everything exactly as we want, or think we want, we have to make compromises, and we have to settle. I don't believe anyone actually has soul mates. A relationship is built around trust, attraction, understanding, and patience. It's not a miracle. I think the topic of this thread is silly, but I think it brings up a good point. Silly thoughts invade our minds sometimes. It can be beneficial to rehash your thought process by considering if there's much basis for your suspicions. With relationships, I think first impressions are very meaningful. Even if we don't remember much about someone, we have a good idea of how we met them. And that impression stays with us.

You're probably right, dimmedlight (apart from that about first impressions). Arranged marriages can be quite successful. But I don't think I can live like that. When I think of the chances that I let go I feel guilty for rejecting someone who was not a bad person, but I don't really regret it. The imagination to be in a normal relationship now with a normal person who has normal friends and meeting those friends regularly is not nice. I think I couldn't be myself anymore.
Strangely, I often attract older men. But I'm not attracted to older one's at all. 5 years would be okay if he looks younger and doesn't have this adult lifestyle yet. I guess my standards are too high and I don't have much to offer myself. So yes, I will die alone. But I'm okay with that. At least I can be myself. Maybe I will have a cat once I will stay at the same place for a longer time. I once read that a cat was eating her owner's dead body as nobody found she was dead. It's disgusting, but this will probably happen to me. So if you ever see a fat cat you know what happened.

0000

Dying alone would suck, but what's worse would be living alone. In the sense of isolated, friendless, and lonely forever. That would be worse, I think.

Trouble is, that's pretty much where I'm at right now. I'm going to try to dig myself out of it, though.

I could care less. Nihilism is such a cop out, but I can't shake it so screw it.