A-Holes

Why are women attracted to men who use them and discard them like so much Kleenex? If that's what women want, I guess I'll die a virgin because I can't be that guy. I don't want to be that guy.

I can't speak for every woman's feelings, but I know some it's a classic case of they didn't have a positive male in their life growing up so they crave that attention so much that they are willing to go through hell just to get any kind of male attention.

Asuka wrote:Avoidants tend to live a sheltered life

I must admit, I have lived a sheltered life of sorts. Even though I have been accused of being a cynic (If I was religious in any way, the only theological idea I'd embrace would be total depravity.) despite my "cynicism" as some may call it, I consider myself to be both naive and a prude. I have noticed that if I see a movie or read anything that portrays or talks about certain things, I will have to turn off the TV or close the browser window.

Happy Colored Marbles wrote:Why are women attracted to men who use them and discard them like so much Kleenex? If that's what women want, I guess I'll die a virgin because I can't be that guy. I don't want to be that guy. :(

Of course, you can't generalize for all women, but there is something to the "bad boy" attraction, and then there's also just statistics, so to speak. The aggressive bad boy is hitting on large numbers of women and even if he is only successful a small percentage, it's more successful times than the nice guy who rarely approaches a woman or is afraid to try at all. Accepting that premise doesn't change the result you have observed, though.

Even though i got no luck with girls i still know theres PLENTY out there that arent into the jerk type. I dont think the jerk type is the same as the bad boy type. A bad boy doesnt have to disrespect his girlfriend to gain her respect, he treats her like his queen. The jerk on the other hand, is a jerk.

I think the hypocrisy of the way men and women handle their attitudes towards attraction is much more to be feared than the nice guy vs jerk conflict.


I like how the dumber tough guys assume that they are good for all types of women, like the intelligent bookworm. Yet they insult bookworm guys. That kind of pisses me off because of how avoidants think they aren't good for anyone, but we can be smart or artistic and a good match for a nerd girl on some level.


As well as the guys who insult liberal causes yet will show up at a naked protest among liberal women, insulting the liberal guys at the same time no doubt. The women too seem to like pandering to these types too instead of caring about who is sitting naked alongside them.


But there are introverted hypocrites too, like guys who insult jocks but want a hot babe girl friend.

I (and if you read a bit, many "pickup professionals") think it's less about "jerks vs. nice guys", and more about self-worth. It's not that they're into the fact that these dudes are jerks, it's that they subconsciously recognize the "alpha" traits as positive. It's not THAT you're respectful, it's WHY.

Anytime that WHY is a lack of perceived self-worth, socially acclimated folks can smell it, and it's a turn-off.

Asuka wrote:To be brutally honest(again) I often wonder is there a higher level of...well not misogyny...but resentment of women among male Avoidants.(Maybe someone should start a poll. It would be interesting for the sake of demography.)
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In my case, there was some of that going on. I would use fear, but resentment is close enough. Interesting idea for a poll and worth some discussion IMO.

I (and if you read a bit, many "pickup professionals") think it's less about "jerks vs. nice guys", and more about self-worth. It's not that they're into the fact that these dudes are jerks, it's that they subconsciously recognize the "alpha" traits as positive. It's not THAT you're respectful, it's WHY.

I agree.

I've been into this PUA ("pick-up artist", lol) thing for a while, it's interesting you should mention it. I have to say, some of it definitely works, even if it only helps you get laid.

I don't know if any of you are into this - actually my new obsession are entheogens - but I'd say Juggler and Zan are the best "gurus" in this area.

Here's the basics, it's real funny actually. There is a world of acronyms and rivalries and different methods, some of the posts are hilarious. Go to http://www.fastseduction.com/, it's not a plug... It's jerks helping nice guys, and a lot of nerds LOL