Communication

Hi i'm new to the board & strongly believe my relationship was with a person who has the AVPD traits. i not sure but what i've read she is qualifies per the descriptions noted. she exhibits signs of passive aggressiveness as well.

my question, is this personality type internally angry? she prefers to agru via eamail rather than face to face or over the phone. she is always the one starting a dispute that catches me off guard. i have never raised my voice at her nor have i said things that are hurtful. i think this is her way of pushing me away to confirm her lack of self worth as a person. what do you think. any feedback is good!

thank

Thanks for your quick reply. i have been dating her over a year & thought she was the one for me so we became engaged & then the turmoil with us heightened. engagement lasted 3 months.

i notice she would get very defensive if i questioned her about things that most are insensitive too. like do you remember when, why didn't you turn left at the light instead of going all the way around the building, are you sure these are the shoes you like. all of these questions caused a passive aggressive flare up. for the most part she is easy going (or at least appears that way) i did notice serveral times she had a look, like a daze where she would be staring off in to space. her facial expressioin looked disturbing, you know the wrinkeled up brow, like one is mad. i would ask are you ok & her quick reply would be 'i'm good how are you" then she would seem normal again.

i guess the think here is i know a lot about her background which wasn't so good but i thought she had gotten passed this. i do know she never got thereapy when she was a teen & now she is nearly 40. i think it's catching up to her.

i always initiated the conversations, planned the activities, and initialted all of the phone calls.

i do belive she has a negative attitude underlying her facade that she put on most of the time. i also feel the closer we became as a couple the more i was pushed away via her indirect ways of sarcasm, or starting an argument over being asked a simple question. on thing for sure she is very sensitive and at times seems lifeless unless prompted, to me this is a sign of depression.

i don't want to psycho ananalize her but with the power of the internet it seems easy to get a good idea with whom we are dealing with these days.

i would call her more often than her calling me but she was alway ready to email which were were about the same although i'd rather talk in person or on the phone.

thanks for your input Asuka

unsc8thd wrote:my question, is this personality type internally angry? she prefers to agru via eamail rather than face to face or over the phone.

I'm self-diagnosed, therefore, I could be wrong. I'm not trained in mental health, therefore, could be wrong. I'm making assumptions based on myself, not knowing your friend, so I could be wrong.

I'm not angry. People hurt me and disappoint me, but I don't feel anger toward them.

I do rely more on email or phone sometimes. That is safer than face-to-face communication. I'm less likely to feel rejected and more in control.