friends

hey guys!

im new here (well actually ive been lurking the forum for a while) and i am a self diagnosed avoidant.

however...i have not seen anyone who possesses this trait. I am 99% sure i have avpd. but i just havent seen this in any of the avoidant topics, websites, etc. unlike many others, i do have the ability to establish close friends. Like really close friends. Right now, I have 5 really close best friends.

oh...yeah...and they all either a) do not know each other or b)dislike each other. So we're not just all one group (which would make sense because of my group anxiety of course)

However, i cannot make regular friends. I either have really really close friends or just plain old acquaintances. I'm in my sophomore year in college and i am trying to control my anxiety by joining clubs, etc but uh thats for another topic later.

so tell me what you guys think? do u know any avpd people with really close best friends?

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heelshouse wrote: Right now, I have 5 really close best friends.
oh...yeah...and they all either a) do not know each other or b)dislike each other. So we're not just all one group (which would make sense because of my group anxiety of course)

I envy you the 5 friends at once. Where I might be a little similar is the friend v. acquaintance observations.

At different stages in my life, mostly do to changing schools, I have had one close friend. It was one guy from age 5 to 13, someone else for a couple of years, then another guy through part of high school and a couple of years of college, and one more person in grad school. When I feel like someone does like me and want to be around me, I guess I'm sort of monogamist to that person. There might be other people who know me from school or work who would say they are a friend because we occasionally have a pleasant conversation, but they are really just acquaintances, as I don't socialize with them. To the extent I used to socialize with multiple people, it would be friends of my one friend who included me in something. I haven't had such a close friend for years, though.

I can't say I've ever had a "close" friend, I've never really confided in anyone about anything. Even people I've known for 10-12 years I don't speak to about anything other than video games or something. Don't really know many acquaintances either, just dawned on me yesterday that I had my first non business conversation with someone who didn't live in my house in a month and it wasn't so much my choice to speak to that person, more of them asking for a place to play hooky for a few hours.

thanks guys for your input!!!

yeah thats the thing im sort of a monogamist with that person that i become friends with. So each of my best friends were on a one on one basis. and i swear if they didnt stay in contact with me, i would have only 2 (my roommate and then one who shows many avpd styles)

avpd is so hard to live with.