Replay, stop, rewind?

by **Cosmos** » Wed Aug 06, 2008 1:10 pm

I try to tell myself, and occasionally others, that in most public areas, that person is likely never going to see you again and if they do, they won't remember you.

Never works for me.

Oh, and I also find myself playing through the past/hypothetical conversations aloud. I don't even realize it, but as I'm going through all the speech in my head, I slowly begin verbalizing it. Many times my parents have heard me mumbling incoherently, but I've always told them that I either didn't say anything or was just talking to myself.

If you are into Millon, it's part of the Avoidant's "Object Relation".

Vexatious Object-Relations (e.g., internalized representations are composed of readily reactivated, intense and conflict-ridden memories of problematic early relations; limited avenues for experiencing or recalling gratification, and few mechanisms to channel needs, bind impulses, resolve conflicts or deflect external stressors)

http://www.millon.net/taxonomy/avoidant.htm

Millon says: If an avoidant thinks it went bad, he will replay it in his head constantly. If an avoidant thinks it went good, he will forget about it.

by **Parador** » Thu Aug 07, 2008 10:35 pm

You can also talk about mansquitoes. I saw one on a sci-fi channel movie. Bullets just bounce off the exoskelleton. It's best to carry a stun gun. That slows them down a bit. I talk about manquitoes a lot too.

by **Queer Duck** » Sun Aug 10, 2008 3:36 am

Tristex wrote:So, I have a hunch that this quality is common among avoidants and wanted to know if any of you share this displeasurable trait that I have in the aftermath of interaction with people.

Like, say you have a conversation with someone or a certain situation occurs. You may not know the person very well, or maybe you do, whatever.

-I- almost always replay whatever situation/conversation that occurred afterword and say to myself..

"Gee, I wish I didn't say that."
"Why did I say that? That's so stupid."
"I can't believe I did that. Why did I do that?"
"I should've/could've... [insert alternative here]"
"I hope I didn't sound [insert dislikable trait here]"
"I hope I didn't make them feel [insert bad feeling here]"

Almost ALWAYS. I constantly critique myself on how I just interacted with others and wish I would've done things differently. Even it was something as simple as forgetting to say thank you.

And I THINK about, and keep on thinking about it. It's so frustrating that I sweat the small stuff. Where as these petty things hang over my shoulders all day and in the middle of the night.. this person probably doesn't even remember my face, you know?

Sigh. Anyone relate?

Yes, I do this all the time. I still obsess over things I said years and years ago. :oops:

by **Skog** » Sat Oct 11, 2008 2:29 am

Replay, stop, rewind?

ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Replay, stop, rewind?

Who is online