Therapy

Does therapy help? I've started seeing a counselor and taking Paxil for panic attacks. But so far, I don't feel any better.

I've been in therapy for the past 3 months and it was only about a month ago that I really felt any benefit from it. For me, my therapist has only just begun CBT now that I have my anxiety under control with drugs (antidepressants and antianxiety). She said when she first met me that this was going to be a very long and slow process because my avoidance is built into personality. This is something that has taken years to develop and can't be fixed with a few sessions.

I got to the stage where I was tired of myself and knew that something had to be done. I was in denial for so long, but eventually realized that this could only get better if I sought professional help.

Getting help is something that very few avoidants do. It usually takes quite a large degree of depression to ever do something about it. This is how it happened for me and others I've read about anyway.

If you are ready to get help, then I strongly recommend it. Just don't give up too soon if you think it's "not working." Persistence is key.

emerald wrote:I've been in therapy for the past 3 months and it was only about a month ago that I really felt any benefit from it. For me, my therapist has only just begun CBT now that I have my anxiety under control with drugs (antidepressants and antianxiety). She said when she first met me that this was going to be a very long and slow process because my avoidance is built into personality. This is something that has taken years to develop and can't be fixed with a few sessions.

I wish I had your therapist. Seriously, I'm so glad you posted that because it makes me feel like I'm not being the stupid one for disagreeing with mine about that. I just had my second session and he told me during the first that he only meets with his patients 6 to 8 times, because according to him if you have a deadline or whatever then you'll work harder and be able to use what you've learned for the rest of your life. He compared it to taking guitar lessons, and how he only took a few lessons and then figured out how to play on his own once he'd learned the basics. Which doesn't even make sense because I took piano and violin lessons for years...I know some people can just pick up instruments like that but he acted like everybody should be able to and that you'd be stupid to keep taking lessons.

That really pissed me off because, like you said, AvPD take years to develop. I've been told and believed my entire life that I'm the weird or shy and quiet one and that there's something completely wrong and awful about me because of that. It might be easy for me to make small talk with the teller at the bank now, but it's still really hard for me to form new relationships and its just ######6 impossible to get rid of this self hatred that I've had practically as long as I can remember. Telling me to stop caring what people think and expecting me to be able to do that is like having an anorexic come into his office and telling her to just go eat a damn sandwich. And he's supposed to be a specialist is social anxiety*!

Sorry for getting the topic off track...that's been my most recent experience with therapy but I hope yours gets better and turns out to be more like emerald's than like mine!


*admittedly I haven't told him I think I have AvPD yet, so maybe he just doesn't realize how badly ingrained it is for me...I just feel so awkward telling him I know what I have because I read all about it on internet message boards. But still, wouldn't you treat a social anxiety patient with CBT and drugs, not a bunch of cliches about accepting yourself and ###$ what other people think?

Hannnaa,

That's quite appalling that he said such things. I would not listen to him and try to find a normal therapist. He sounds like he's full of ****. I've heard of lots of people having to shop around until they find someone they like. It can be easy to give up after the first try, but you shouldn't let that hinder your desire to get better. I was lucky to find someone I liked first time. For that I am grateful.

I should mention to you that I never brought up the name AvPD to my psych. I spend a few sessions telling her what my problems were and then she started to tell me what she thinks. She does not like the idea of putting labels on these things and thinks it's irrelevant in my case since I desire to feel like I'm not a freak. However, she has said on many occasions that what I am dealing with is a strong case of avoidance that is part of my personality (is that the same thing as AvPD?). Also, social anxiety.

I think your best bet is to just lay out all of your problems/experiences and let them decipher what's wrong with you. If they're any good they should be able to put the pieces together. Your diagnosis might even be something different to what you had initially thought.

that sounds about right, schizophrenia is an illness but avpd is a label.

most therapists know nothing about avpd unfortunately.

there's like one book on it in the whole wide world

go into any psych's office and you'll see 10 books on bipolar, shizo, ocd etc. just a reality unfortunately.

I think that just because many therapists don't know about AvPD as a disorder, doesn't mean they can't be of help. Even if they are not treating the disorder as a collective problem, but rather a series of symptoms, it doesn't mean they can't help you. Most likely they will help you pick up on patterns in your own behavior and help you break the cycle (at least that's been the experience for me).

Part of my problem is that I have extremely low self confidence. By telling me that I have this or that disorder doesn't really help anything. Part of the confidence building was reassuring myself that I am normal, I just have some issues to deal with.

I know it can feel comforting to say I have ...., because at least then you can have an excuse for your behavior. What I'm trying to say is that it doesn't really matter if the label is there or not. It's the way you go about fixing the problems that really matters.

emerald wrote:Part of my problem is that I have extremely low self confidence. By telling me that I have this or that disorder doesn't really help anything. Part of the confidence building was reassuring myself that I am normal, I just have some issues to deal with.

Yeah it differs from person to person.

With me when I found out I was avpd it was more of a relief. I just thought I was a pathetic freak for so long then learned I couldn't help the way I was it actually elevated my opinion of myself, improving my self worth.

But anyway as you said it's how you can practically put things together and improve your life that matters. I suspect you're seeing a psychologist not pyschiatrist right?

bla84 wrote:

emerald wrote:Part of my problem is that I have extremely low self confidence. By telling me that I have this or that disorder doesn't really help anything. Part of the confidence building was reassuring myself that I am normal, I just have some issues to deal with.

Yeah it differs from person to person.

With me when I found out I was avpd it was more of a relief. I just thought I was a pathetic freak for so long then learned I couldn't help the way I was it actually elevated my opinion of myself, improving my self worth.

That's exactly how I felt. Obviously labels aren't everything, but when I first found out what AvPD was I was completely blown away that there were actually people out there who could relate to my experiences so well it was scary. Even if a psychologist said I don't have it, I would keep coming here because I can relate to what everyone is saying better than I can anywhere else.

It's a bummer that there are so many bad therapists. I've run into lots of jerks. Not just therapists either. I'm afraid that it is a long hard search to find someone who is really good.

I'm not sure therapists want to deal with difficult people either. It's not like on TV where you find a doc who WANTS the tough cases. They want something easy. I think any personality disorder is tough to treat since there is really no way to change someone's personality and totally solve the problem.

Well, I hope my therapist knows what she's doing. I don't want to spend years bouncing from therapist to therapist. Honestly, I don't think I even need a therapist. I know the thoughts in my head are irrational. I just need something to quiet my mind.