Introversion or Extroversion

I want to see how many here consider themselves introverts or extroverts. Now, this is a tricky question among avpds because of how difficult it is to tell our avpd from our natural introversion. An avoidant can be very extroverted but their self-defeating tendencies can make him act like an introvert. This is why I'm asking this question, I want to know how many of us are truly introverted, are extroverts at heart or are just in the middle of the spectrum (like most people).

To answer my own question, I consider myself an introvert. I'm happy when I'm by myself, I enjoy being alone and I love solitary activities BUT I don't want to be by myself ALL THE TIME. I don't want lots of friends or to be popular and loved by everybody, because I like living a quiet and somewhat reclusive life, what I want is to at least have some people to be with when I don't feel like being alone anymore (which is about half of the time) but my avoidant nature makes it absolutely impossible.

I think the biggest step in my "recovery" for AvPD has been accepting that I am an introvert. Previously, I desperately wanted to be like the people who can go out and party all the time and always be happy/comfortable around other people. I wanted to be seen as a sociable person with a secure group of friends.

As it turns out, I don't even really even enjoy being around other people that much. I find it exhausting and overstimulating. I have previously been so ashamed of my social ineptness that I was forgetting about things that I really do enjoy, which often involve solitude. That's not to say I don't want friends, because I do, but knowing I can enjoy myself without them was a big step for me. It took away a lot of the loneliness and negative feelings I had about myself. I no longer feel guilty when I stay in on a Friday night and there are parties going on in the apartments next door.

It was my therapist that helped with me this realization. She told me that she could see I was a true introvert and told me that it was perfectly fine- something that extroverts will never understand. I'm learning new ways to be happy on my own. A huge amount of pressure has been lifted.

Now, by no means am I "cured," I still have a ton of AvPD tendencies, but I believe I am learning to cope far better than I had in the past.

I used to be quite shy yet over the years I have discovered that after improving my self esteem I have become more extroverted though I can easily slip back into shy mode depending on the people I am exposed to,my mood,etc..I realized that I have to really get to know people well then I can just let loose and be relaxed around them and be quite outgoing...When Im around pompous,arrogant people I clam up cause I strongly dislike those type of people and I suppose they intimidate me,I absolutely detest being in those situations where I feel that way cause I feel those people will never know the other more social,bubbly side of me so they assume I am just shy..I sometimes feel like I have 2 personalities,some people who know me view me as quiet and others say I am very outgoing,again it all depends on the stimulus that I am exposed to..Losing weight and working on making myself feel as best as I can about myself has had a tremendous impact on my overall personality thus allowing me to come out of my shell...My mother is extremely extroverted and she always put me down for being shy while I was growing up,I can recall ripping her a new a hole one day for yelling at me for not being able to go up to someone in a store to ask where something was,and I remember saying that theres nothing wrong with being shy on numerous occasions..Most of my family are extroverts and they always put me down for being shy which in turn made me feel worse..I hate when people who are outgoing make people who are shy feel lousy about it!!!

Nothing surprises me here. I definitely expected to see at least 95% of avoidants as introverts.

Hard question to answer. I've always been pretty adamant that I'm not an introvert like people think I am, and that AvPD is like being an extrovert trapped in an introvert's mind. This is mostly because of how much I craved relationships during the period of my life (high school) when I felt the worst and the most alone. I enjoyed time by myself sometimes, but mostly I was just ######6 lonely.

But like emerald, an important step for me was learning to love the time I had to myself and get out of the mindset I used to have where the way other people responded to me controlled the way I felt about myself and my life. It was extremely hard because I would try to become completely self-sufficient and tell myself if other people wanted to be my friends, let them come to me, but don't get to clingy and needly like I always have before. But if I started making a friend through facebook or a group that I was in, and they didn't call me when they said they would or whatever, I would start to feel lonely and ignored again.

I kind of cheated myself in this aspect by going to Miami University of Ohio ("J Crew U"), where I knew I wouldn't want to fit in with most other people because they were all superficial sorority and fraternity clones. Not only that but I completely accidentally ended up in the "health and fitness" dorm (it was the only dorm with a single room available), full of the blondest, most generic sorority clones in the freshman class.

I met one girl in the dorm who I became "best friends" with, but mostly ours was a relationship built on mutual contempt for everyone around us, and a need to have someone there for each other at all times. I became the powerful one in our friendship, mostly because I had met my girlfriend the summer before and spent most of my time on the phone with her, so I was never truly alone when I was by myself. After awhile I got annoyed with my friend sometimes for wanting to hang out with me so much, but I liked being in a position I'd never been in before - being needed more than I needed another person.

I left college after a year because my relationship with my girlfriend was suffering and I was sick of going to J Crew U. Now that I've moved in with her I'm starting to realize how much of an introvert I really am. As much as I love her, living with someone is exhausting, and I look forward to the moments I have to myself. Of course this is true for anyone living with someone they're in a relationship with for the first time, but the change in myself is noticeable. Before, I could stay up until all hours of the morning, but when we moved in together I started getting tired "early" (before midnight), which I at first attributed to having a close-to-full time job for the first time in my life, but I don't really think it's the job because I've had jobs before and it's never been that bad.

In the past when I've hung out with friends I've noticed no matter how late I'm up with them, I have to spend at least an hour afterwards by myself doing nothing before I can go to sleep, sort of to wind down or something.

I guess it's a balance - I need time to myself just as much as I need to be with other people. I don't know if I'm extroverted or introverted, and maybe the answer really has nothing to do with AvPD. AvPD blocks a person from getting one of our most basic needs, after the obvious needs food and shelter. It doesn't matter if you're introverted or extroverted or to what degree, everyone needs both time alone and time with people, and if one of those is taken away from us it's bound to make us unhappy.

To answer my own question, I consider myself an introvert. I'm happy when I'm by myself, I enjoy being alone and I love solitary activities BUT I don't want to be by myself ALL THE TIME. I don't want lots of friends or to be popular and loved by everybody, because I like living a quiet and somewhat reclusive life, what I want is to at least have some people to be with when I don't feel like being alone anymore (which is about half of the time) but my avoidant nature makes it absolutely impossible.

That is exactly how I feel. While I cherish and often long my time alone, I regret not having the opportunity, when need arises, to spend time with someone. I suppose we ALL, introverts or extroverts, need some kind of social connection. The extent to which we need it is what differs. In that respect I do consider myself an introvert. I wouldn't say it's 50-50, but more around 60 being alone, 40 spending time with people. Mind you the 40 becomes 0 if the people are unbearable. I will always rather be alone than force myself to spend time with people I don't connect with, just for the sake of not becoming a hermit of some kind.

I've always considered myself as an introvert. It usualy takes time for me to get used to new people and a new environment. I did a test last year that scores on a lot of things, one of the things was about beeing introvert. I turned out to be with the 5% of the most introverted people to take that test. And I know the test have been taken by a lot of people in my country.