Lost another of my few friends

Yesterday I drove my friend to the state police barracks so he could turn him self in. I believe the mandatory minimum sentence for armed robbery is 3-5 years in pennsylvania so I won't be seeing him for quite some time. It might be possible he can get his sentence cut by snitching on the person who sold the drugs that killed a guy we went to highschool with, but said person is pretty dangerous.

My other friend has been mia for the past 5 months. He is a dope addict, and a somewhat clingy friend who liked to call me every few days while he was away at college across the state. So being unable to contact him after 5 months the people who know him are likely pretty close in the assumption that he is dead or in jail.

Those were my two best friends. The one who has been missing for 5 months was the only person in the world I have ever even begun to open up to. The guy I drove to jail yesterday I have known since my freshman year in highschool, while we never really had the disclosure of real person information that is suposed to be a part of the development of a friendship, he is the only person I have ever trusted(I was closer with the mia guy, but being a dope addict he does things he doesn't want to).

As my friends disappear one by one it seems to go from the top down. I only have 2 friends left and one is a complete jack ass, the other is the most annoying person I have ever met. They both go to college too. The jack ass goes to school close enough that I can drive up and party with him about once every few months though.


As akward and uncomfortable as it is being around anybody, even my friends, being alone is worse. This sucks.

I went several years with no friends at all. It's a bit lonely, but better than having friends like that. Then I got a job working around lots of people and I get so much interaction every day that I need alone time.

I think maybe this loss of friends has contributed to me being ###$ up in the head.

Growing up I never had a lot of friends, I was always just really close with one single friend. I've gone through so many of them I think maybe the repeated loss has ###$ me up(I sound like such a whiney bitch writing that).

When I was really young I spent every day with my friend hank, then he moved away across the country and I never saw him again. Then I met this kid chris and we got really close, even during the school year we stayed at each other's house four or five nights a week. Then he moved away, tried to stay in touch but over time he changed and I didn't and I haven't seen him in at least 6 years. Then for the next few years I became really close friends with another guy, but towards the end of highschool he became part of the popular crowd and I was a loser so that was the end of that. There were actually one or two more, I just can't seem to recall where exactly they fit in the timeline...

The friends that I spoke of in my previous post I'm not nearly as close to as I was to my friends in the past. Kinda like whats the point ya know? Nothing lasts. The only one who will always be there for you is yourself.

I lost all of my friends when I moved to the USA. We were never really close and most of the time they were an annoyance but now 've become even more depressed than before. For a while I deperately wanted to make new friends in my new town but I have now realized that it is OK. I was probably never meant to interact with others on any really meaningful level. This has made me feel really good and has helped me cope with the loneliness I can sometimes feel.

I'm not saying you should do the same, of course. If you can have friends then that's great. I'm just saying that losing my friends worked for me in the long run.