An SPD dating an AvPD?

Yeah, the thing is that, even though people might have an hard time believing it, Shinji, Rei and Asuka are all actually mild to moderate cases of their respective PD. There are MUCH, MUCH worse cases than those 3. Also, all 3 seems to suffer immensely from their respective PD, despite not being as bad as it could be.

Indeed, Shinji has nothing on me.

Well, you got your answer in Evangelion, if you consider it a factual documentary (which it obviously is).
The entire point of Gendo's plan for Instrumentality is to use it to "link his soul" to that of Yui. Now the thing is that his plan gets sabotaged by Rei (schizoid, obviously codependent) that uses it to "link her soul" to that of Shinji (avoidant, less obviously codependent). Result: Humanity implodes.
(I had read other funny theories, like having so much depression into a single location led to the implosion of humanity.)

You still haven't answered my question but oh well... I had never thought about instrumentality in that way, I guess I didn't give Anno enough credit. You know, we should stop talking about Eva, it's probably annoying just about everyone else here.

they say it's maladaptive, but it makes me feel better, so to hell with them!

That's sort of how I feel about my own codependency. I know it's wrong but it fills a void I couldn't fill by myself so it's kind of a blessing from heaven. Hmmmm... that's the first time I see you make a reference to the schizoid forums without using the phrase "Funny you say that" at the beggining . (Now you have every right to make fun of my overuse of the word Honestly)

i think this is very interesting considering all my previous relationships has been with more or less extroverts, i've never actually met anyone more like me.

I guess I must be the only one who has always been more attracted to people who are different and strange...

now where can i find myself a schizoid?

Here's the plan... we get our friend Peptron here an avoidant girl and in exchange we ask him to get us two schizoids for us. All we need is net/cage/trap/chloroform in order to capture the avoidant.

Ikari Shinji wrote:You still haven't answered my question

To answer I'd need more information... They say that codependence never happens "alone". It's always to cover another disorder, usually a personality disorder. "WHY" are you codependent? In my case it's because it feels like my own existance has virtually no purpose in itself. I am unable to "live for myself". Living for myself is simply to "continue to exist" with a rather hard to endure feeling of emptiness.
Schizoidism involves losing your "sense of self", and being unable to get a "sense of meaning", since both of them require emotions, which tends to be lacking in schizoids. If you can bear it, it's ok... but if you are like me and have an hard time enduring it, well... the door to codependence is wide open!

Now I guess a codependent-codependent relationship might work, but I don't really see what could happen... but it would make sense if they don't "codepend" on the same level.

Ikari Shinji wrote:

Peptron wrote:they say it's maladaptive, but it makes me feel better, so to hell with them!

That's sort of how I feel about my own codependency. I know it's wrong but it fills a void I couldn't fill by myself so it's kind of a blessing from heaven. Hmmmm... that's the first time I see you make a reference to the schizoid forums without using the phrase "Funny you say that" at the beggining . (Now you have every right to make fun of my overuse of the word Honestly)

Funny you say that, honestly, but you have to know that English is not actually my first language, and that I tend to use very few expressions when talking or writing. I sound awfully formal almost all the time, which is another schizoid thing. And if I have an expression that happens to convey what I want to convey, I'll use it, even if I used it two sentences prior. But, honestly, English not being my first language isn't honestly an excuse, honestly, because honestly I am just as bad in French (my first language), honestly. Quite a few people told me that I sound like an answering machine because I always had the tendency to use the same terms at the same places, and never use any colloquialisms. Just for fun you could go read my old posts again, and I am sure you could notice that I tend to use the same terms over and over again. And then just go see posts by other schizoids and you'll notice that I am far from being the only one.
I often lost grades in oral and written productions because of that. The teacher would tell me, "It is the right term you used there, but you used it like 5 times already in that paragraph." I mean, when I talk and write, what I want is to communicate effectively and be understood; which is already hard enough for somebody like me! You can't believe how little I care about all those little useless fluffy things to sound more lively; and even if I cared, I wouldn't be able to use those terms in context correctly.

Ikari Shinji wrote:

i think this is very interesting considering all my previous relationships has been with more or less extroverts, i've never actually met anyone more like me.

I guess I must be the only one who has always been more attracted to people who are different and strange...

Personally, I am attracted to "different and strange" people. In fact I tend to repulse the normal and attract the weird. But if you go check the threads about love and relationships of schizoids, it seems that they are ONLY attracted by different and strange people.

Ikari Shinji wrote:

now where can i find myself a schizoid?

Here's the plan... we get our friend Peptron here an avoidant girl and in exchange we ask him to get us two schizoids for us. All we need is net/cage/trap/chloroform in order to capture the avoidant.

Mmm... it could work... But I have heard that some schizoids are so lethargic that breathing chloroform would excite them instead of sedate them.

Ah... to stay in animes... for those that don't know what a schizoid girl looks like, this is a good preview:
She has the schizoid body type, the general energy level typical of schizoids, and not to forget that wide smile and that sparkle of excitement and joy of life in her eyes that is the schizoid's trademark. (And in case you care, yeah I seen worse than that, too. Remember, there is always worse... always...)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XfJwh2cC6o

"WHY" are you codependent?

Instead of typing all that agin I'll just quote you:

because it feels like my own existance has virtually no purpose in itself. I am unable to "live for myself". Living for myself is simply to "continue to exist" with a rather hard to endure feeling of emptiness.

That's pretty much it, in order to cover for the fact that I have neither any purpose or direction in my life, I live by simply following orders and doing my best to be a good boy who pleases everybody.

Now I guess a codependent-codependent relationship might work, but I don't really see what could happen... but it would make sense if they don't "codepend" on the same level.

Probably... I'll just kidnap some psychologists and ask them about it. Where did I leave the chloroform again...

English is not actually my first language

Honestly, english isn't my first language either, I'll let you figure out which is, though it's pretty obvious.

But, honestly, English not being my first language isn't honestly an excuse, honestly, because honestly I am just as bad in French (my first language), honestly.

Hey! I only use honestly at the start of a sentence... though it was still hilarious.

Quite a few people told me that I sound like an answering machine because I always had the tendency to use the same terms at the same places, and never use any colloquialisms.

An aswering machine... Somehow I can't begin to imagine how you must sound. Actually, my family always tells me to stop talking so formally and using complicated terms in everyday conversation because I sound like a smart ass... at least in my first language.

Personally, I am attracted to "different and strange" people. In fact I tend to repulse the normal and attract the weird. But if you go check the threads about love and relationships of schizoids, it seems that they are ONLY attracted by different and strange people.

I guess they want what they should be wanting instead wanting what they shouldn't, like us avoidants.

But I have heard that some schizoids are so lethargic that breathing chloroform would excite them instead of sedate them.

... ... ... ... WHAT??? Are you serious...? My plans have been foiled... I'll just use a cage... what I can't figure out what would make good schizoid bait...

for those that don't know what a schizoid girl looks like, this is a good preview:

They look like Lain...? I always thought Lain was cute... I know I know, she is like 14 or something but I bet that by the time she is my age (19) she will be really hot, especially since we're talking about anime and there a NO ugly girls in anime.

and not to forget that wide smile and that sparkle of excitement and joy of life in her eyes that is the schizoid's trademark.

You know, I've always associated wide smiles and happy outlooks on life with blinding stupidity. When I see someone being really happy-go-lucky I can't help but think: ignorance must be such a blessing...

Ikari Shinji wrote:

"WHY" are you codependent?

Instead of typing all that agin I'll just quote you:

because it feels like my own existance has virtually no purpose in itself. I am unable to "live for myself". Living for myself is simply to "continue to exist" with a rather hard to endure feeling of emptiness.

That's pretty much it, in order to cover for the fact that I have neither any purpose or direction in my life, I live by simply following orders and doing my best to be a good boy who pleases everybody.

Mmm... not sure what would happen then... but I guess it would maybe cause an Apath-O-Meter to explode.

Ikari Shinji wrote:

English is not actually my first language

Honestly, english isn't my first language either, I'll let you figure out which is, though it's pretty obvious.

I'd guess either Spanish or Klingon. Wait... you said your parents were religious? Then Aramaic, the language of Jesus.

Ikari Shinji wrote:

Quite a few people told me that I sound like an answering machine because I always had the tendency to use the same terms at the same places, and never use any colloquialisms.

An aswering machine... Somehow I can't begin to imagine how you must sound. Actually, my family always tells me to stop talking so formally and using complicated terms in everyday conversation because I sound like a smart ass... at least in my first language.

There was a thread on the schizoids forum about people thinking you are annoying for using supposedly "complicated" terms. For some reasons, I noticed that the term "relatively" seems to be too impressive for many, despite me using it all the time. Oddly enough, "absolutely", which is the opposite meaning, is actually OK to use. To think that my general moods are termed "alexithymic" and "anhedonic", I guess I'll just ignore all the "How are you?" questions or just go with the "I am fine!" routine, or the truer "I *was* fine!".

Ikari Shinji wrote:

Personally, I am attracted to "different and strange" people. In fact I tend to repulse the normal and attract the weird. But if you go check the threads about love and relationships of schizoids, it seems that they are ONLY attracted by different and strange people.

I guess they want what they should be wanting instead wanting what they shouldn't, like us avoidants.

Well... some "are" attracted to insane extroverts, especially those that can't stand their apathy and so want to willfully affiliate with a persecutor that will force them into action.

Ikari Shinji wrote:

But I have heard that some schizoids are so lethargic that breathing chloroform would excite them instead of sedate them.

... ... ... ... WHAT??? Are you serious...? My plans have been foiled... I'll just use a cage... what I can't figure out what would make good schizoid bait...

It's not too hard to put a schizoid in a cage:
If the schizoid isn't a too bad case, you can do this:
-Hey mister schizoid... I am here to kidnap you, please proceed to go into the cage.
-Am I allowed to attempt an escape?
-No.
-...whatever... *walks into the cage*

In stronger cases, you can just spot a schizoid, then start to build the cage around him/her. By the time the schizoid notices what is going on, she/he is already old and senile.

But then, you could run into violent schizoids. They DO exist, and there are even movies about them. So just in case, you will need to bring the following equipment:

Ikari Shinji wrote:

for those that don't know what a schizoid girl looks like, this is a good preview:

They look like Lain...? I always thought Lain was cute... I know I know, she is like 14 or something but I bet that by the time she is my age (19) she will be really hot, especially since we're talking about anime and there a NO ugly girls in anime.

Eh... I was more reffering to her general behavior being more similar to a 95 years old than a 14 years old. My sister once told me that I was acting like a 125 years old senile geezer. Add to that the common pale and skeletal schizoid physique and you get somebody that has more to do with zombies than people. (Though tankfully I don't look like Michael Jackson. But I am still the pallest and thinnest person I know.)

Ikari Shinji wrote:

and not to forget that wide smile and that sparkle of excitement and joy of life in her eyes that is the schizoid's trademark.

You know, I've always associated wide smiles and happy outlooks on life with blinding stupidity. When I see someone being really happy-go-lucky I can't help but think: ignorance must be such a blessing...

Yeah... but when you are schizoid and you don't try to "hide" it in any way, it's a certainty that the NEXT person you meet will pass a comment about it. Being schizoid is not so much as just "not smiling", but often go so far as to give you a nice zombie-face or make you look like you have no soul or you are some kind of robot. Of course, Lain is an anime, but imagine a girl actually acting like that in real life. You can expect her to be harassed endlessly and she will end up avoiding people even more than she normally would. When I have to go somewhere and I don't feel like putting a facade, I will get endless "Are you ok?" "Are you sad?" "Are you mad?" "Are you high?" "You look so sleepy!" "Careful, he will go on a killing spree in 5 minutes!".

I'd guess either Spanish or Klingon. Wait... you said your parents were religious? Then Aramaic, the language of Jesus.

Spanish... and what's with Klingon? I am not THAT big of a nerd...
Honestly, I bet that my parents didn't taught me Aramaic because they didn't have the resources. Hell, if they could they would probably have sex with Jesus.

For some reasons, I noticed that the term "relatively" seems to be too impressive for many, despite me using it all the time.

What?? Relatively is too complicated... oh dammit that's one more word that I have to stop using...

To think that my general moods are termed "alexithymic" and "anhedonic", I guess I'll just ignore all the "How are you?" questions or just go with the "I am fine!" routine, or the truer "I *was* fine!".

The "how are you?" question, slightly less annoying than the "why are you so quiet?" question. You know, I've never been able to figure out why people ask me that question at all. I mean, I'm always staring at the floor with a look of impending doom on my face and when people ask me that question I just go "I'm good... how are you?" with a very low voice and giving them this weak little smile that makes me look like a patient with terminal cancer saying he's going to be ok. Why do they even bother? Can't they see from 10ft away that I am definetly NOT fine... I bet they must be thinking "Yeah, right" when I tell them I'm fine.

It's not too hard to put a schizoid in a cage:
If the schizoid isn't a too bad case, you can do this:
-Hey mister schizoid... I am here to kidnap you, please proceed to go into the cage.
-Am I allowed to attempt an escape?
-No.
-...whatever... *walks into the cage*

Actually, that would probably work just fine with me as well... though it would go a little bit different:
-Hey mister avoidant... Yes, you... who else is around here? I'm going to kidnap you so get in the cage.
-ummm... errr... ehhh... am i... am i allowed to... ummm... escape... or something?
-No.
-... ummm... OK, I--I'm sorry. *walks into the cage while staring at the floor*

But then, you could run into violent schizoids. They DO exist, and there are even movies about them.

Hmmm... that would mean that Raccoon City is Schizoid City... And... so is Spain according to Resident Evil 4...

Eh... I was more reffering to her general behavior being more similar to a 95 years old than a 14 years old.

Oh, I know... but I still held out a hope that there was people who looked like Lain... sigh...

My sister once told me that I was acting like a 125 years old senile geezer.

Hmmm... I've been told that I act like a bitter old man... You're senile and I bitter all we need is a pair of rocking chairs. We can sit in front of a house and I can yell at the children to get off my lawn while you forget your name and address...

Yeah... but when you are schizoid and you don't try to "hide" it in any way, it's a certainty that the NEXT person you meet will pass a comment about it. Being schizoid is not so much as just "not smiling", but often go so far as to give you a nice zombie-face or make you look like you have no soul or you are some kind of robot. Of course, Lain is an anime, but imagine a girl actually acting like that in real life. You can expect her to be harassed endlessly and she will end up avoiding people even more than she normally would. When I have to go somewhere and I don't feel like putting a facade, I will get endless "Are you ok?" "Are you sad?" "Are you mad?" "Are you high?" "You look so sleepy!" "Careful, he will go on a killing spree in 5 minutes!".

You know, when I'm not playing it tough I tend to give off this "poor abused kid" aura. Most people my age just tend to treat me with pity and are nice to me but adults... adults are different. Apparently I can make some people's maternal instincts go nuts or something because adult women just start babying me... in a bad way. I remember that back when I was a waiter (yes I know that's probably the worst job ever for an avoidant, especiall an extremely clumsy avoidant like me) there was this woman who just wouldn't stop babying me... she looked at me with these maternal eyes and I wouldn't be surprised if she suddenly began to carry me and feed me with a bottle. And she isn't the first or the last adul woman to treat me like that, I know they're being nice but it gets kind of creepy...

Ikari Shinji wrote:The "how are you?" question, slightly less annoying than the "why are you so quiet?" question. You know, I've never been able to figure out why people ask me that question at all.
I mean, I'm always staring at the floor with a look of impending doom on my face and when people ask me that question I just go "I'm good... how are you?" with a very low voice and giving them this weak little smile that makes me look like a patient with terminal cancer saying he's going to be ok. Why do they even bother? Can't they see from 10ft away that I am definetly NOT fine... I bet they must be thinking "Yeah, right" when I tell them I'm fine.

The "How are you?" is really the killer question for schizoids. The thing is that I don't know how I feel about 90% of the time. I usually don't feel "nothing", but it is so indescriptible that I need a strong effort of concentration to even know if the feeling is good or bad, and the problem is that I am very honest and hate to #######4, so I feel the need to tell the truth to that question. Usually I answer "I'm fine..." after a like 5 seconds pause, to which one of my old bosses said "So young yet so full of doubts.".

Oddly enough, I don't think I remember having been asked why I was so quiet. There was a cashier that told me "Hey, you are mute!" about 2 months ago... I don't know if that counts. Actually I think I know why nobody asks me that question, and no other schizoid ever actually said they got that question either, I'll develop on that further.

Ikari Shinji wrote:

But then, you could run into violent schizoids. They DO exist, and there are even movies about them.

Hmmm... that would mean that Raccoon City is Schizoid City... And... so is Spain according to Resident Evil 4...

Yeah, Resident Evil is a good preview of a world overtaken by schizoids.

Ikari Shinji wrote:

My sister once told me that I was acting like a 125 years old senile geezer.

Hmmm... I've been told that I act like a bitter old man... You're senile and I bitter all we need is a pair of rocking chairs. We can sit in front of a house and I can yell at the children to get off my lawn while you forget your name and address...

Haha... and to think... I regularly forget my own adress and my own phone number at 26 years old.

Ikari Shinji wrote:

Yeah... but when you are schizoid and you don't try to "hide" it in any way, it's a certainty that the NEXT person you meet will pass a comment about it. Being schizoid is not so much as just "not smiling", but often go so far as to give you a nice zombie-face or make you look like you have no soul or you are some kind of robot. Of course, Lain is an anime, but imagine a girl actually acting like that in real life. You can expect her to be harassed endlessly and she will end up avoiding people even more than she normally would. When I have to go somewhere and I don't feel like putting a facade, I will get endless "Are you ok?" "Are you sad?" "Are you mad?" "Are you high?" "You look so sleepy!" "Careful, he will go on a killing spree in 5 minutes!".

You know, when I'm not playing it tough I tend to give off this "poor abused kid" aura. Most people my age just tend to treat me with pity and are nice to me but adults... adults are different. Apparently I can make some people's maternal instincts go nuts or something because adult women just start babying me... in a bad way. I remember that back when I was a waiter (yes I know that's probably the worst job ever for an avoidant, especiall an extremely clumsy avoidant like me) there was this woman who just wouldn't stop babying me... she looked at me with these maternal eyes and I wouldn't be surprised if she suddenly began to carry me and feed me with a bottle. And she isn't the first or the last adul woman to treat me like that, I know they're being nice but it gets kind of creepy...

From what I understand, when I feel depressed I also give somewhat of a "poor abused kid" aura and end up being mothered in some ways. Doesn't help that I am a short thin guy that physically looks MUCH younger than 24 years old (some think I am around 16-17...).
But when I feel particularly schizoid (like right now), people will not try talking to me, and will often actively try to not look into my eyes, and if they do eye contact they seem to turn their gaze instantly as if they saw something horrible. I would need to see myself from outside when I feel like that... some schizoids said that others perceived them as serial killers that were just a minute to a major killing spree...
When I feel like that, what I can say is that NOTHING on my face is automatic. My eyes can even end up burning because I think that even blinking doesn't happen by itself. I also feel like my eyes barely move in their sockets. From what I understand it's as if I have strong aura of "nothingness" and that I didn't radiate anything at all, as if I wasn't actually a living human. Weird that people seem to perceive you as a potencial killer, since I couldn't be more inoffensive when in that state... I think you could poke my eye and I wouldn't fight back.

and the problem is that I am very honest and hate to #######4, so I feel the need to tell the truth to that question.

I've never had any problem with lying, actually I am quite probably one of the best liars I've ever met. Mostly because of the fact that I lived a sort of double life at one point in my life and to mantain the facade I did some heavy duty lying. I was a good little christian boy in front of my parents and a tough, silent atheist rebel in front of my friends and neither of those was truly me; but I had to keep it up in order to protect my real self which I felt was weak and fearful and so it would not be accepted, it all ended in me losing the real self and having to basically piece it back together some time ago. Sometimes I even wonder how valid my real self is... for all I know I could have pieced it back wrong. When you lie so much you lose even your own credibility, I always double guess anything I feel. Sorry I sort of got carried away, but I guess I just wanted to share that with someone.

Yeah, Resident Evil is a good preview of a world overtaken by schizoids.

Makes me wonder how a world overtaken by avoidants would be...

Haha... and to think... I regularly forget my own adress and my own phone number at 26 years old.

Where's my facepalm.jpg?

But when I feel particularly schizoid (like right now), people will not try talking to me, and will often actively try to not look into my eyes, and if they do eye contact they seem to turn their gaze instantly as if they saw something horrible.

So you basically have an expression that can make others NOT look at you? YOU NEED TO TEACH ME HOW TO DO THAT... NOW. You have no idea how do I wish I could make others not look at me. It would rid me of so much anxiety.

I think you could poke my eye and I wouldn't fight back.

Really? I would like to try doing that one day... that and take your wallet... which from what you posted the other day would be full of change.