Internet Dating Sites

I don't have the time or energy for a long reply here. But I would like to say that internet dating can suck the life out of a man. I have had profiles on PoF on and off for a couple of years. It is MUCH easier for women on those sites. There are 50% more men on there than women, so it can be hard to even get a woman to answer your message. Even if you get a date, the woman knows there are hundereds of other potentially better guys out there. Internet dating leads to that kind of shopping mentality and makes it much harder to make a connection. I would say to avoid it unless you are really rich or good looking.

Parador wrote:I don't have the time or energy for a long reply here. But I would like to say that internet dating can suck the life out of a man. I have had profiles on PoF on and off for a couple of years. It is MUCH easier for women on those sites. There are 50% more men on there than women, so it can be hard to even get a woman to answer your message. Even if you get a date, the woman knows there are hundereds of other potentially better guys out there. Internet dating leads to that kind of shopping mentality and makes it much harder to make a connection. I would say to avoid it unless you are really rich or good looking.

That maybe true. If I only get one date from the internet, that is one more date I've every had. I just need to practice being with women I'm interested in.

I just want you to be prepared. Lots of guys find it extremely frustrating. I've seen guys on PoF threten to kill themselves in their profiles. There are pictures of lots and lots of attractive women - but they don't answer messages. Some guys start writing really nasty messages to them. Some of them are probably fake profiles that are put there to entice guys into joining. Others are there to lead guys to adult sites.

Worse than being rejected by the attractive women is being rejected by the plain or unattractive women. Do you get Seinfeld down under? Remember the episode where George gets rejected by the bald woman? At least I've never been rejected by a bald woman.

I have had more success getting women to chat with me by going on without a picture and being funny or otherwise charming. Then they want to see a picture. When I send it they break off contact. This has happened to me many times. It happened to me again last week. A few weeks ago I contacted a girl and we started talking on the phone. It turns out that she has anxiety and is a bit of a shut in. I got her to tell me about her father - how he was sick from cancer for years and how he passed away two years ago. I was very sympathetic and understanding with her. We had some long conversations over a 3 week period. She told me what a great guy I was. She finally indicated that she really wanted to see my picture. I sent it and now she is too busy to talk to me on the phone. She has not returned my calls. She used to call me a lot. I never thought I was ugly before. Noiw I feel like crawling into a hole.

If you want to get used to talking and flirting with women it might be best to get a job working with the public. I have a job running a food service operation in a large office complex and I have taken the oportunity to get flirty and chat it up with some of the women who come in. It almost got me a date once. This cute girl with a southern accent asked me if I would ever want to go out to a ply or something. I said sure. A fewweeks later I found something good and we agreed to go. She never showed. She told me her car wouldn't start. We set up something else. She didn't show again. After that I didn't see her for months.

So there is a downside to the public job. the other is that the women who work for me nag me about my flirting. One gives me a hard time about how I only talk to the women I like. It can be a pain. I just tell her that I have a rule - hot chicksget special treatment. I'm not sure if thats the best thing to say and I don't really care. It stops her.

I could go on and on here, but I guess I'll stop. I just wanted to let you know what it can be like. But maybe you have a male model face and it will be easier for you. I know it sounds shallow, but it seems that physical attraction is 90% of a relationship.

Parador wrote:I just want you to be prepared. Lots of guys find it extremely frustrating. I've seen guys on PoF threten to kill themselves in their profiles. There are pictures of lots and lots of attractive women - but they don't answer messages. Some guys start writing really nasty messages to them. Some of them are probably fake profiles that are put there to entice guys into joining. Others are there to lead guys to adult sites.

Worse than being rejected by the attractive women is being rejected by the plain or unattractive women. Do you get Seinfeld down under? Remember the episode where George gets rejected by the bald woman? At least I've never been rejected by a bald woman.

I have had more success getting women to chat with me by going on without a picture and being funny or otherwise charming. Then they want to see a picture. When I send it they break off contact. This has happened to me many times. It happened to me again last week. A few weeks ago I contacted a girl and we started talking on the phone. It turns out that she has anxiety and is a bit of a shut in. I got her to tell me about her father - how he was sick from cancer for years and how he passed away two years ago. I was very sympathetic and understanding with her. We had some long conversations over a 3 week period. She told me what a great guy I was. She finally indicated that she really wanted to see my picture. I sent it and now she is too busy to talk to me on the phone. She has not returned my calls. She used to call me a lot. I never thought I was ugly before. Noiw I feel like crawling into a hole.

If you want to get used to talking and flirting with women it might be best to get a job working with the public. I have a job running a food service operation in a large office complex and I have taken the oportunity to get flirty and chat it up with some of the women who come in. It almost got me a date once. This cute girl with a southern accent asked me if I would ever want to go out to a ply or something. I said sure. A fewweeks later I found something good and we agreed to go. She never showed. She told me her car wouldn't start. We set up something else. She didn't show again. After that I didn't see her for months.

So there is a downside to the public job. the other is that the women who work for me nag me about my flirting. One gives me a hard time about how I only talk to the women I like. It can be a pain. I just tell her that I have a rule - hot chicksget special treatment. I'm not sure if thats the best thing to say and I don't really care. It stops her.

I could go on and on here, but I guess I'll stop. I just wanted to let you know what it can be like. But maybe you have a male model face and it will be easier for you. I know it sounds shallow, but it seems that physical attraction is 90% of a relationship.

Sorry to here about your bad experiences. Thanks for playing the devils advocate. One, I will try to keep my expectations low. Two, I think I will put photo straight up from the get go. That way if I send a message to a women, there can take quick look at my photo and write back and saying hi or no thanks. Thus avoiding worst hurt down the line.

I once felt like having a girlfriend and suscribed to a dating site. After visiting their forums my hope for humanity completely vanished and I decided that total loneliness really is the best way for me. I still sometimes feel like having a girlfriend, but just looking at people go in general gets rid of that feeling fast enough. I doubt I could find a girl that could accept my ungodly need for loneliness though. (Though I have SPD and not AvPD BTW, but that makes the entire dating thing just as hard, but maybe not as painful.)

Or maybe they should do a site that specialises in extreme introverts, SPDs and AvPDs?

I've never had any success with it, but I have an account on sweetongeeks.com. I love the logic behind the site... and I keep the profile up because, well, you never know. (My nickname is dizzy, if anyone wants to seek me out.) I've only had two people contact me in the months I've had it up... One of them I wrote back, but they never replied a second time. The second person was way older and had kids, so I opted to ignore it.

It took me forever to word the profile in a way that didn't make me cringe, and I still go back and change it frequently. Even the things that I think are clever seem dumb after a day or two, when I go back and look.

You know what is funny? I haven't met one person from eharmony or chemistry.com, but I have met three people from Yahoo and had good relationships with two of them. Also, it looks as if I am in the process of another meeting with a great person (pasta/mexican) from Yahoo. I think with the elimination of the pressure of having to call an interaction "dating," it is easier to relax and show your "true colors" and let people be attracted naturally to you. Well, as much as chatting online can show your "true colors."

I still don't see anything in it. People just lie on their profile all the time. Everyone seems to be selfishly trying to get the best person they can on those sites. I am chatting with a woman now, but I'm not crazy about her. In her profile she said that she was just looking for friends. But she really seems to be looking for a boyfriend. And she is trying to hide her weight problem. She only has a pic of her face and the profiole says "a few extra pounds" but I can tell that she is grossly overweight. But lots of people say 50 pounds overweight is only chubby or a few extra pounds. The women like that call men shallow for not liking them. Ang guys always complain that they are nice guys and women should like them, but wha wha wha women don't like nice guys.

I really think the vast majority of peple on those sites are there because they are undatable. I meet plenty of women out in the real world, but no one wants to date me. Pleasant attractive women get asked out all the time. So why would a woman like that need to go on a dating site? Maybe she has a major personality problem. Or she is SO picky that no real man can possibly pass all her tests.

That's right - tests. I managed to get on the phone with an attractive women from a site when I first tried it. It was like being interogated. Women are so used to having men lie to them that they look for any incosistancy or fib. And they reject you if they think they have found one.

The whole thing is a sickening meat market.

Parador wrote:The whole thing is a sickening meat market.

Nice to know I'm not the only one thinking like that. I once said to a friend that I equated dating sites to human traffic.