AvPD or just a loser

I've never been able to tell anyone about my problems. I've hid my AvPD and my depression for years now. The way I am, I have always been or at least the transition was so gradual and occuring at the same time as puberty and growing up that nobody knows there is anything wrong with me.

So when a guy is 20 and lives with his parents, has no job, never leaves his room, has no friends, never had a girlfriend... and nothing is wrong with him. He is just a worthless piece of crap.

I can't deal with the pressure of being somebody I can't be, I can't deal with the dissapointment from my family. I feel like such a burden, I'm considering just leaving in the middle of the night. Finding a nice alley in a city a couple states away that I can spend the rest of my life sleeping in.

If you cannot deal with trying to be somebody you can't be, then just be yourself and forget about what everyone else thinks.

I am 24 and still live at home but, at your age, I was agoraphobic too. I've had the dream of simply rotting away in an alley too, but you know that you're really not going to do it. So, what are you left with? - You obviously are not content to stay in your room and continue living your life as it is. So, change it. Change everything and anything you want.

Opening-up to your parents might be a good idea too. It is not a bad thing to ask for help, especially when it is needed.

Kevin.

I was a lot like that after I graduated from college and could not get a job. I thought about killing myself a lot because I was so worthless. I did force myself to go out several days a week though. I went on long bicycle rides. I went to local libraries and read books and magazines. I should have applied to do some volunteer work at the local hosptal I think. I know someone from another group like this who did that. You can get short 1-2 hour shifts a few days a week. That will help you gradually get used to dealing with people.

living with my parents is goddamn useless... it sets me backward big time, i like my parents and all, but i think theyre a huge reason why i have my problems. I try to see them casually maybe once every few weeks and try to spend more time with friends who will evolve, adapt, and enrich my personality

CriminallyVulgar wrote:
So when a guy is 20 and lives with his parents, has no job, never leaves his room, has no friends, never had a girlfriend... and nothing is wrong with him. He is just a worthless piece of crap.

Alot of us are like this, your not alone.

Parador wrote:I was a lot like that after I graduated from college and could not get a job. I thought about killing myself a lot because I was so worthless. I did force myself to go out several days a week though. I went on long bicycle rides. I went to local libraries and read books and magazines. I should have applied to do some volunteer work at the local hosptal I think. I know someone from another group like this who did that. You can get short 1-2 hour shifts a few days a week. That will help you gradually get used to dealing with people.

CriminallyVulgar, Parador makes a good suggests here. I was in the same position as you at 20. Living at home, no friends, never had girlfriend with major depression. You really need to overcome your depression to certain degree before tackling AvPD. At first I took drugs for my depression. But now exercise really helps me with my depression. You just have find what works for you. But long term I have to do something about my AvPD if I'm every going to kiss the shadow of depression goodbye. All the best to you.

CriminallyVulgar wrote:So when a guy is 20 and lives with his parents, has no job, never leaves his room, has no friends, never had a girlfriend... and nothing is wrong with him. He is just a worthless piece of crap.

I had the status back then. 20, unemployed(but with a degree), never left my father's basement, etc...

6 years later, I have a highly specialized and stable job, my own house but still not much of a social life and never had a GF. Nowaday it's quite typical to be in that situation at 20. But a lot of things can happen in few years, the 20s are proably the most unpredictible years of someone life...