Hi everyone. 39 yo male from Melbourne with avpd

Hi Wobbie

I don't live in Melbourne- I'm actually in rural NSW. I found the public mental health system largely unhelpful to me- the people I did see who were qualified to help were good, but they were not people I could be assigned to see regularly. The people I was assigned to, lets say if they'd picked up on my avoidant and autism traits at the time, things may well look different to what they do now. I have been "in the system" since I was 16 (I'm now 33).

I have been able to access help with a clinical psychologist in a private practice, receiving a capped number of sessions (10) through Medicare (with referral from your GP). If I make the appointments fortnightly, it gets me a bit further through the year, and then my therapist does subsided sessions for the rest of the year because I'm on a disabled pension. His approach has been most helpful. Would recommend looking for someone with an interest in PD's and someone who can do CBT with you. CBT can be highly effective with AvPD, and it is actually one of the most treatable PD's. Would also ask your GP if they can recommend someone you can be referred to.

I get struggling through a job you're not suited to- I'm trying to find myself another one at the moment. I've signed up with a job agency who only deal with people with a disability- so going in there and saying "I just can't do this whole retail/hospitality thing I'm doing now", they get it. Might be worth looking into?

Thanks for the reply

I am also 33 so lucky us. I often fantasise about moving rural and everthing being peaceful and great, the city is awful. Many years ago I did a similar thing and saw a psychiatrist for several sessions, it was probably only helpful in the sense that I felt I was "doing something about it". I had some sort of anorexia and along with the depression and so-on I hadn't quite figured out what my problem was. My current Dr seems very good (I went through several bad ones as I have a separate medical isssue), so maybe just going to him and being blunt and up front could be an option. My first actual job, which lasted just a year, I have 3 weeks left, is like retail only even worse and I am counting down the days. It's hell, but I would have continued on if they had wanted, job searching is just as bad. Before this I was either studying or doing the job network thing, and no one seems to be able to help someone with two degrees who is utterly hopeless in reality. I can barely answer my own phone out of fear

Hi 39yo AvPD from Melbourne, I'm a 42yo male from Adelaide with AvPD

This is my first post here, found it by accident.

This AvPD, always knew there was something wrong or different with the way I interacted with other people. Standard childhood emotional neglect etc. Have been in therapy for nearly 6 months - tried sparingly previously but couldn't explain what was wrong.

Anyhoo, I'll be checking out this forum regularly, to see what i can find here to help me, maybe i can help others. Best of luck with your journey.

Hey,

Also 39 male from melbs and a fellow AvPD person. Are you sure you're not me? I recently moved here too and Melbourne truly is the best place. I'd like to participate in it and find new friends but with the mix of all my issues it really beats me down and I just become stagnant and...avoidant

I can get going sometimes, so it's not all bad, and Melbourne is accomodating for varied interests, but It'd be good to have some friends to do things with or at least people who get-it. I always seem so fearful though so I can never quite seem to connect well with others. I'm getting mighty sick of this self sabotaging beast as I'm sure others here do too, but do I do anything about it? Answer pending..

Anyway, just thought I would send my greetings to you and welcome you to Melbourne. I occasionally come back to this forum to see that I'm not the only one who has to deal with this frustrating 'disorder', so happy to talk anytime.

Hey wobbie. In terms of help I haven't really found anything tbh. Since moving here I've been looking everywhere to be able to get help, whether that be meetup groups, help groups which are specific to Avpd. Nothing really has come up. I do see my psychologist who has helped a little, been to my gp pleading if they had something they knew of that could be of help, but unfortunately the answers I was getting were pretty much that I had to help myself because no one else could. I'm really sorry that your boss doesn't seem to get it, and that you're also going through this extra stress which obviously we don't need on top of the issue we already have. Exposure therapy only works in small doses in my experience, going full bore all of a sudden can have a detrimental affect in many cases. I'm pretty much stuck too and apart from the psychologist giving me a few ideas ( some handy some not soo much) there isn't much else that i'm pinning my hopes on now, as morbid as that sounds. All I can say is stay strong and maybe one day soon we can get over this thing

-- Mon Apr 08, 2019 1:22 am --

Hey Deaneus. I'm glad that you also found this forum. The thing is I understand completely where you're coming from because I was never diagnosed with avpd until about a month ago. They just presume that you're anti social or extremely shy and tell you to get out there and live life. I hope that your therapy goes well, and that you see great success in the not too distant future! I haven't been on for a while but I also will be coming on more regularly. Thank you for your wishes. All the best to you, and know that you're definitely not alone.

Hi chilledmonkeybrains. Lol, we do sound kinda similar don't we? It's tougher at our age, despite us wanting to get out there and mix, once we get a small little setback we become stagnant and avoidant, that's very true. We always tend to overthink things which pretty much inhibits our ability to get out there and meet new people, whether that be through social clubs, sports clubs or even going for a walk and striking up a a conversation with a random on the street instead of crossing the road to avoid walking passed them. Self sabotage I know plenty about, don't worry lol. We do it as a protective mechanism, but unless we somehow let go of it we can't progress to the next little level on our journey. Thanks for giving us a shout out, really appreciate it mate. And you're definitely not the only one having to deal with this bugger. There are many of us, and talking about it and exchanging ideas is only gonna help.

skyflyz wrote:Where are people going? Social networks aren't good for this sort of forum or maybe nobody really cares.

There are places. I hate reddit, but there are other places.

I will miss forums like these. I actually like reddit, and I adapted and moved there whereas before I would frequent livejournal and a social anxiety forum. But reddit is changing too, and it's not good for everything. Some of the people I relate to most are the ones who post here. They are similar to me in terms of lifestyle and opinions, and they have really good insight.

You go to reddit and it'll be like...once a week some person will be like "I'm having a hard time life's kind of not working out. I think I have AvPD." And some people will respond kind of like "chin up" or they'll piggyback the thread with their own woes which may are extremely loosely related to original topic.

Is there a reason why you are not working? Is it because of your disorder?

If I were you getting a job would be on top of my list instead of looking for friends or social circles...

GadSitar wrote:If I were you getting a job would be on top of my list instead of looking for friends or social circles...

The worst thing is that workplaces are like little social packs. They're looking for people that they want to fit in and enjoy being around 8 hours every day. Skills and actual or potential ability are not the main priority. My workplace are still advertising for someone, despite getting rid of me and not bothering to train me properly, they want someone happy bubbly friendy and forceful and that they don't have to put any effort into whatsoever. I'm so screwed it looks like I will never work in the indutry I've been put through. Looking at jobs make me sick to my stomach