HE WILL CONTACT AGAIN?

Hello,
I was talking online for long time
with a guy I suspect has avoidant personality acording what he was telling me about himself and his feelings. the previous week was about to see him for first time as he visited my country to meet his family, but he just disappeared and thats because we had a confict because i dated once a guy before ever meet him just for one time and told him didnt mean anything for me. After i told him that ,he said he felt awful and started getting distant, i got hurt of his withdrawal and i said things such as maybe we should never meet etc. I didnt mean them and i told him that, but he just vanished himself and never checked my last messages and never replied the last week , that was the week we would meet for first time,now he is already back to his country. He will ever text me back again? i got hurt and he knew i have a serious health issue, and he acted so heartless and selfish.

Hi there

Anyone could get cold feet about a planned meet up. That's not something that's specific to people with AvPD- or even someone with a disorder at all. There's any number of reasons why he might have bailed out of the meet up. Maybe he'd had a previous negative experience meeting up with people. Maybe he was uncomfortable about your previous relationship- only he can tell you what the reasons were.

I have no idea as to whether he will contact you again or not. That's something that is totally up to him. And I doubt that he would have deliberately done this to hurt you. Him acting in a "heartless and selfish" way might have been more about self preservation and taking care of himself first rather than getting into something he couldn't cope with.

Only he can give you those answers. If he's not returning texts or calls, you may just need to leave it at that and move on.

I'm sorry things haven't turned out as planned/hoped for you.

Thanx for the reply. I just wanted from him a proper reply and not just vanish himself.and I was curious if people with avoidant do usually come back in some point or not??? Because his way hurts me very much specially now Iam in a vulnerable period of my life as I have a serious health issue the last 16months and he knew it. I guess not all people have the eq to end any kind of relationship nicer. I speculated that he might have avoidant personality based on what he was telling me and mostly based on my experience as psychologist and psychotherapist. The good news are that he didnt block me ,hehe! He said once if he was mad with me he d have blocked me. I will try to get over it as it seems I was lucky I didnt meet him eventually because I dont find him right for me, I was just hoping for a proper answer.',

I've been ghosted lots of times. It's more the rule than the exception. It sounds like that's what happened. Yeah it sucks, but that's life.

You're wise to move on. Best of luck to you and I hope your health situation improves. Being sick sucks.