what do you fear when you relate with someone

I just asked some questions to myself and decided to share...

It happens to me that i have a particular way to relate. Sometimes i'm afraid of...

of what?

I'm not sure of what.

Sometimes is to be not liked, sometimes to be discovered.

Those fears, i know, sort of.

Then there are some others. There must be somewhere fear of damaging. That's a big one.

Fear of not meeting expectations. That one is present with job too. then i ask myself too much and loose opportunities. Still, not only that. I think there is something more subtle.

I'm not sure i make clear distinction between my expectations not being met and their expectation not being met by me.

Well, i don't know. Just thinking. No answers. I just wanted to share, in case you can... relate ; )

i am sure i act more avoidant but i think i am afraid of abandonment or rejection/shame.

i am not afraid to relate with someone altthough i just get avoidant.
what does afraid to relate means ?
i desperetely want to be discovered but i can't let it happen because then i will be vulnerable and they will have the power to hurt me

I'm not sure. There's the old conventional wisdom about misperceiving fear of failure as fear of success. It feels like I relate more to fear of failure. I guess it sucks to relate to someone because there have been few people ever in my life I've been comfortable and accepted around. Mostly they were my nuclear family. (And not even EVERYONE in my nuclear family, namely my stepdad).

So sometimes I talk to someone and like we're both voluntarily spending some time together in some capacity. Engaging in some conversation. And maybe I find we have something in common that I've never had in common with someone before. Maybe we saw the same obscure movie or something. Then I fear that I will be needy and boring and I will feel this unrequited yearning to connect with them and feel at ease around them, and feel like they're enjoying their time with me as much as I'm with them. Worse then them not being as into me as I'm into them? If I sensed annoyance. Or some outright rejection. Like when you're a little kid and an adult says "That's not appropriate." Or they look away and pretend it didn't happen. And my beliefs are confirmed that I'm some antisocial degenerate pervert.

That I'll be judged and talked about. My paranoia kicks in.