How to deal with irrational thoughts/feelings?

Hey,
So. I feel like a lot of my everyday life/experiences are permeated by various irrational thoughts and feelings. And even though I *know* that the thoughts are irrational and don't logically make sense, I still can't help feeling them as real, reacting as though they're real and internalizing all of it. Which in turn make the irrational thoughts/feelings worse, self-esteem worse and my mental state worse.

An example of my irrational feelings/thoughts in regards to hypersensitivity to criticism:
when my partner comes home he might say something like 'Mmm, smells great! Did you make lasagna? With the salad?' before he has fully walked into the kitchen to see what was made. Now, in by brain, because I didn't make lasagna or salad, but some other food completely, I hear his questions as 'I wanted lasagna and salad. You didn't make them. You failed.' Whenever these types of questions are posed to me I 'hear' them as criticism, even though I *know* they are not actual criticism or meant in that way. But I feel hurt by it, still. And I can't help my reaction, which is usually to apologize, feel awful and then continue to think about it for ages. Sometimes the constant thoughts about it will cause heightened anxiety as well.

My question is, how to deal with this? I am already aware that the problem is in my brain, the way I interpret the situation and no offence/criticism is actually meant by the other person. But how do I get from the realisation of that to actually, truthfully feeling that realisation? How do I stop the irrational thoughts from continuing to affect me? :/

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
/N.

I think it's not irrational.


Imagine that you give a book to someone and before opening it, they say

"Oh, it's the book of Stephen King that i told you about ?"

and you say

"No it's a book of dsfff gfsdgf ddfg g "

It's painful because they expressed positive expectations that were not met.


In my experience, acknowledge and accept those thoughts/feelings - and sometimes express them - allow them stop torturing you.