İ dont want to die i want to get better

İ am18 years old and want to get better..İ cant ımagıne my lıfe as beıng avoidant:(....İ want to be my self and be confidant!....i am consıderıng suıcıde and made plans too..Like takıng 500 very strong anti-depressants!..Or hang my self!...why?why?why?...why dıd ı have to be lıke thıs why!.....İ cannot live lıke thıs anymore sorry!....

It IS a cross to bear the avoidant personality.

But it's not a hopeless one. I saw your other post about wishing you could be narcissistic or something instead. I wouldn't wish that on you.

There is a lot of pain and disappointment facing an avoidant's challenges. But there can be triumphs. An avoidant can *learn* new coping skills, can become more capable at natural anxiety-control, and can respond really well to cognitive/behavioral therapy.

I know from my own life how paralyzing it can be at times. But please hang in there. The low times *can* be ridden through... with a little help from our friends. And 'friends' can mean forum folks, books, the right music, or finding little ways to quietly, safely be of service to another who's hurting just as bad as we are (or worse).

Please post again. Anything specific you can say about why you're at such a low point right now?

:: hugs across the web ::
—LQ

PS: 1-800-SUICIDE -- gentle, caring counselors 24/7.

When ı sometımes thınk of death ı get a bıg smıle on my face...i feel very relifed!....İ dont know ıts just i sometımes desıre death and sometımes desıre social gatherings..But ı cant even be succesful on one of them:(....

Please stay around. I know this world... this live is hard, too hard at times. But please don't do anything to bad yourself. There are good times coming after bad times, sun after rain. I don't know you, but I do care.... Love

first of all, I would suggest that you really ponder what death would bring, and the answer is probably nothing. it would bring eternal nothing which is nothing good, nothing happy, nothing better than being avoidant.

"death solves nothing because you won't be there to see the solution" - that's kind of my motto when it comes to suicide... and I'm also 18 years old and avoidant... if you really convince yourself that hopefully you'll be fine. I know it seems hard to enjoy your life at times, but it's way better hanging around than taking the plunge into uncharted waters... maybe you can also try to use religion to help you through. as long as you can somehow get fear some kind of hell, it can only help you resist the urge... one of my friends was saved by that so it cant' be too bad...

think about what can happen in your life though... all the possibilities. they say your personality isn't even fully developed yet... you don't even have to be avoidant your whole life, get all the professional help you can now, it may not be like your avoidant self, but if you don't want to stay like that, it's what you need... I think you can pull through and even jump off the avoidant bus... remember that there's people who care about you

I don't think suicidal people actually wants to die. Psychological ones either want to send a message they can't express otherwise by using an extreme but unfortunately definitive way or their pain just blind them from the consequence of their act, they just want to "end it".

Ability to manage emotions doesn't come before later in the 20s when you can choose to do something about it or be content with it. Before that age, we still don't know that life is a roller coaster ride: at first the highs are higher and lows lower but after a while the ride becomes less extreme and start to even out...