Neglecting personal hygiene

I have had an odd problem about personal hygiene. I don't shower often enough, don't shave or keep myself groomed, I wear dirty clothes, etc. My therapist said she can't help but think this is similar to other situations where people deliberately try to make themselves ugly, often to prevent the possibility of other people being interested in them. I told her that had occurred to me too, but I don't explicitly feel like that. I just think spending time in the shower washing my hair and using soap on my body wastes too much time. I'm not conscious of trying to make myself undesirable.

I'm out on a limb here asking, but has anybody else every had a problem like this? It's not classically avoidant as far as I can tell, except in that I'm avoiding taking a shower for some reason.

Up until I was about 15 or 16, I only used to have a single shower/bath per week. Now, however, I have at least two showers every day - On some days, I even have three. So, I am very much at the opposite end of what you are at now. However, I do understand what you are going through. It's odd but what you are describing sounds a little attractive to me (if you're a girl), but that's for another thread.

Were you always like this? ... ...Do you actually have a bad odour? I mean, do you actually NEED to shower often?

Take care,
Kevin

Easy there Chucky! I'm a guy. But I'm gay so it's not, like, totally out of the question, heh I wasn't always like this, only in the last few years. I typically take two showers a week, so it's not like I'm covered in filth or anything. But yes, people can smell me sometimes, so I know that I do need to shower more often.

This week I'm committed to showering everyday so that I can maybe get to the bottom of this problem. You know, climb in the shower and try to figure out exactly what's going through my head. In fact when it's hot I typically take a few cold showers a day, I have no problem with this. It's when I turn on the warm water and actually have to shampoo and soap that I seem to have some kind of problem. The feeling is that it takes too much time and I could be doing something else. I become impatient. Very weird.

I showered this morning and I feel great, very fresh, my blond, silky hair looks fabulous. But it was kind of hard convincing myself to turn on the hot water and apply shampoo.

Well, I knew it was a long shot, but who knows? I thought I'd ask anyway.

I'm usually very regular about taking showers. I always have one before work unless I'm running really late for work or something, then I worry about people thinking I smell bad the whole time I'm there. On weekends, I usually won't take one unless the "dirty feeling" really starts to bother me or I'm going somewhere.

I'm not, however, very concerned about trying to be "attractive" to people. In fact, I try to dress in a manner that would repel others away from me in public. I wish I could find a better picture of myself to post here, but my avatar pretty much says it all: White shirt and tie with a black leather vest.

hehe, I didn't know if you were male or female but I was leaning towards female for some reason.

The shower you had this morning made you feel 'great' according to yourself. Thus, you can feel great everyday if you simply have that shower in the morning. Do you have any idols that also have blonde hair?

Kevin.

Ak1raK0nya wrote:...unless I'm running really late for work or something

The most common thing that happens to me is that in the morning I decide not to take a shower and use the time instead to get to work early. I really want to get to work early and a shower would take too much time. But the thing is that more often than not I'll turn on the TV and watch the news or play a video game for half an hour instead.

That's what goes through my head. Taking a shower is a waste of time but watching TV or playing a video game isn't. So weird. I wish I could figure it out. Sometimes three or four days will go by between showers (very rarely FIVE days!) So it isn't a trivial issue.

And I'm not asking to take a shower EVERY day (except this week as an experiment). If I could manage to take one every other day that would be just fine.

I HATE taking showers. I think it wastes too much time as well. Plus, when I wash my hair it takes forever to dry even with a dryer because it's so thick and long. I take probably 3 showers a week. I won't go out of the house if my hair hasn't been washed in more than two days because it's greasy, but I still refuse to wash it (I wash it in the shower 3 days a week).

I haven't shaved my legs in weeks because I hate doing it. I don't wear shorts anyway. The only reason why I occassionally shave them is because I'm afraid I'll be in some type of accident and paramedics or doctors will see. Crazy I guess.

My logic is that it wastes time, water, and electricity. If I didn't have to be anywhere and lived alone, I'd take one once every ten days. I don't care how gross that sounds.

When i started shaving i noticed that the more i shaved the worse the facial hair got, but on the other hand i had to shave because it looked worse. Shaving really bothers me, and i even went as far as to get laser hair removal on certain parts that i couldnt stand anymore.

I share the feeling of not wanting to waste time when it comes to showers, but I almost always get one in the end. Once a day because of work. I don’t want to draw any negative attention or feedback. When I wasn't working though, I would get a shower every other day. I hate how dirty I feel going any longer than that.

I do know someone like you though, and I am almost certain the two are connected; AvPD and hygiene. As I see it this kind of thing is definitely a possible method to isolate ones self. Probably not the most popular choice, but for whatever reasons some do choose it. I wouldn’t be able to say for sure to what extent someone would be aware and willing to sacrifice hygiene to keep others away though. It probably all depends; they could be aware of it, or have no idea.

Iconoclast wrote:I do know someone like you though, and I am almost certain the two are connected; AvPD and hygiene.

I disagree here. Neglecting hygiene is a mild self-destructing behavior and lack of motivation. It has way more to do with depression.

But since AvPD can cause depression, the 2 may be indirectly connected so you're right too in a certain way. But we have to remember that the direct symptoms of AvPD are strictly on interpersonnal/social relations.