Extroverts: Learn some boundaries!

Knlys wrote:Why don't you just tell them that you need some peace? I suppose they're trying to talk to you "for your own good" or something like that, assuming that people like to talk. If you tell them how you feel, they wouldn't be so clueless.

Well, I am not great at placing boundaries, otherwise I probably wouldn't be avoidant - my strategy is usually simply to avoid people.

But I did tell my roommate to tell her family to stay out of my face so much, and she understood. So hopefully this will sort things out.

Part of my beef in this thread is that extroverts often have no boundaries. For those like me who have to make extra effort to stand up for ourselves, it would be nice if they would just be less in-your-face. But that's never gonna happen, so I can bitch about it and then either set boundaries or retreat. My choice.

I wouldn't wanna have extroverts around me for a long time, but as far as going to any social event with lots of unfamiliar people i would rather choose them than avoidants. I guess it's because all the attention would be focused on them rather than me, therefore they take all perceived negativity while i don't look so bad anymore.

Ak1raK0nya wrote:Whenever I have to be around extroverts, I generally use my natural self-defense mechanism, which is saying/doing something really bizarre or strange so they'll leave me alone. One time, my friend had decided to bring some of his friends over without telling me. This girl he brought over could not stop talking if her life depended on it. After a few minutes of listening to her inane chatter, I put on this mask



And stared at her, completely motionless, until she got kinda freaked out and left the room.

That is hilarious, and an awesome mask. I gotta buy that.

ROFL - I'll have to try the mask thing! Usually I just start talking to them in a mix of different languages or about freaky stuff like whether black holes are portals to Hell or are white holes the mouth of God. It usually works. Sometimes, if I'm really really really freaked out and they won't leave me alone, I just look at them all vacant-like and quitely repeat "I don't care, I don't care, I don't care". I totally cracked up at Johnny Depp's Willy Wonka - I'm so like that!

I don't think Extraverts are inherently evil, but I definitely think they don't consider that not everyone has a compulsive need to share and be social. I do think that majority rules though, because the majority of people are E's, so us I's are the freaks. Come to think of it (for you Myers-Briggs people out there), I think everything is also set up for Sensors (S) instead of Intuitives (N) for the same reason (No offense to any of you IS's out there). Since I'm an IN, I find ES the hardest people to deal with... they have to have every step and reason explained and they are more than happy to chat with you about it ad nauseum. YIKES.

I seriously think that there should be separate schools for Introverts and/or Intuitives... I'm sure we all would have done so much better without all that peer pressure and ostricism.

When I'm around people, my energy is drained fast. When I'm around extroverts, my energy is spent in a few minutes. I can't handle extroverts, but I can't help but wonder most people that I know are extroverts (ofcourse that's relative to me, so it doesn't say much...). I think because they approach others so easily and willingly, they make a lot... A LOT of social contact, so eventually they'll meet someone who is completely introverted. The bad thing is that they use all the space they perceive to be free and therefore talk and talk and talk and they seem so full of energy. I don't know where they get they're batteries fixed

Also, Ak1raK0nya, that made my day!

I used to have a talkhyperactive extravert teacher at 9 am for 2 hours... pff I already get tired just thinking about those lessons. I can stand extraverts (for some time). I avoid them or I try to get into a discussion in certain fields that I know a lot about. So I can smart them out in the discussion. That usualy makes them a bit more quiet or avoiding me
The worst thing that can happen to me is an extravert at a party starting to talk/brag about sex and relations. Just like more AvPD's I didn't have a relationship so I feel extremely embarassed and picked upon when that's the subject.
Otherwise I think extraverts are great people to manipulate and have things done for you...

Otherwise I think extraverts are great people to manipulate and have things done for you...

How so? I usually find they are more pushy than normal. If anything they are the manipulators. Because of their openness, it seems to me, they have less trouble saying no to things. Or at least an easier time avoiding the subject at hand.

Ofcourse I'm generalising, and I don't mean that all extroverts are like that... I don't want to offend anyone

I find extravert people a kind of people that are impulsive. They take immediate action. If you know how to feed them/manipulate them they will take action.
I had one such guy in my class. I'm really well at thinking out worst case scenarios... I think we all are on this forum. If I would tell the guy where the project would/could fail he would take action, where I would just let it be, because I thought it would fail anyway.

About extroverts beeing pushy. The way I deal with it: I don't let their problem become my problem. If they want something done, then let them do it themrself. I know that's easier said than done. But I found out that this lack of activity from our side, frustrates them. Let them be frustrated, it makes it easier for me. If it's a dumb person, he/she will get frustrated everytime you refuse. It it's a smart person, they don't ask you again. Again I know this all is easier said then done, but it's the way I learned to deal with it.

The word extrovert is deemed by society almost like an achievement. Oh s/he's so outgoing aren't they fantastic.

Self actualized zombies.