Bad memory, mind going 'blank', inarticulate

I dont think labelling yourself as AvPD or anything else will help you - you can still post here and noone will judge you if you dont have a professional diagnosis. We are all just people. In many ways, the AvPD label will only give things like procrastination a boost of justification. You are definately not alone but you shouldn't need a label to know that.

I'll just qute Jonathon as well, because he wrote what i've tried many times to and couldnt.

What are peoples opinions/experiences with CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy)?

CBT has been one of the most helpful strategies for me. With a little guidance from a therapist and some reading from books like David Burns "Feeling Good Therapy" that's how I hang in there on a day-to-day basis.

Thoughts ARE behaviors. CBT gives you some guidelines for handling them ...so you don't feel at their mercy.

I also really like it because it puts ME in more control. Viva la control-freak!

This may not apply to you, but do you think you might have Adrenal Fatigue? I had this for awhile before I finally learned what it was. One of the major symptoms of it is bad memory. Some other symptoms for me was a decreased sex drive, mild depression, always feeling somewhat sleepy and never alert, and needing sweet, sugary foods for some reason.

I think my therapist uses a combination of techniques which may include CBT. We do seem to focus quite a bit on root causes but at the same time I am constantly reminded of how irrational my thoughts/fantasies are -(which can be frustrating to say the least). I personally would like to get to a point where I can acknowledge and adjust the irrational thoughts but its also very important to me to be able to get to the root of the anxieties that cause them. At the very least I am curious why I turned out like this.

Your experience sounds exactly like mine. I also know five other languages on top of English though, so part of my memory problems are attributed to all the constant interference, but there are plenty of times when I'll blank out on English words I should definitely know.

I'm horrible with writing too. Ever since I stopped writing a year ago I lost all my skills to think in a logical order and now can't even articulate myself in a forum post or diary entry. It's quite disheartening. And don't even get me started on how I can't remember people's names, faces, or details even though I've met them more than five times. And then there's the inability to remember commands as well, and inability to follow someone's movements (such as in martial arts class or dance class)... I'm hoping this is somehow linked to my Avpd and not just some degenerative memory disorder.

>I'm horrible with writing too. Ever since I stopped writing a year ago I >lost all my skills to think in a logical order and now can't even >articulate myself in a forum post or diary entry.

this kind of worried me since i'm striving to write well. But even though my writing ability is blurring together a bit, i'm still a hundred times better than i've ever been. As for how to head towards clear flowing thought i've aquired a lot of insight into this problem from the challenges i've faced, overcoming these problems. There are two parts to this problem.

First our dispoition, temperament, common personality, or whatever you want to call it is a state, a way your body and mind is that seems to impair mental ability, esspecially in heightened anxiety. You may notice that there are times when you feel completely normal like you can handle anything, but when you get out there, you slink in and feel completely impaired. This is because your actual disposition is conditioned to react badly under those circumstances. Diet, exercise can all make you feel better, but they'll never fix this problem. You need to address this problem directly to overcome it. Work on expanding your comfort zone, and reframing your negative thoughts to positive explained in other posts. This will restore your mental quickness and wit provided your mind is ready to speak fluidly, which leads me to the second part.

It's not only enough to feel calm and relaxed to think quickly, your mind must have an active vocabulary. There are two parts of vocabulary. One part which is used to identify words, and the other part is an active part that you use to recall words to speak and write. The only way to improve your active vocabulary is increase your awareness of words and to apply them by writing or speaking. One of the problems could be for some avoidants is that they never got an opportunity from a young age to devolop their speaking skills through application. This was certainly the case for me. Another aspect to increasing your mind power is to study cognitive advancing disiplines. There are three fields that come to mind for avoidants to increase communication, thinking, and memorization skills. First, grammar which will increase your ability to string together words, forms sentences and phrases. Study mnemonics, which will help you absorb information, vocabulary, and names, places with a little conscious effort. And finnally study logic and the rhetorical modes/topics of invention, which will help your critical thinking ability, so that you can take apart problems, analyze parts of speech, and problems in general. These are three fields that you definitely want to check out. Before i began taking active steps to improve myself in these areas, i could barely string sentences together let alone express myself. I'd try to say something but couldn't because it would come out wrong. On top of that my nerves hindered the rest of my attempts to speak. I'd get lost in what people would say, and had troubles even understanding longer strings of thought. I'd read and re read over a paragraph to try to extract meaning. Now i have no problem understanding even the most complicated sentences, and can even critique literary works grammar. I can remember names vocabulary, places on the spot with realitive ease, provided i take the conscious effort to do so. I can break down problems, remember different strings of topics and much more. I can't tell you how much those three disiplines have improved my thinking, learning, and communication skills. And this is only scratching the surface to what is possible and how good you can become ! Good luck to you!

Necrophagist wrote:The bottom line is that I have a bad short term memory, which I feel has gradually diminished since my mid teens (I'm 23 now). This is causing me a great deal of anxiety, particularily for my professional future and I feel it justifies my self-defeating nature (I'll never learn subject x, so why bother?). I am bad at remembering peoples names, peoples faces, verbal instructions, minor details (settings in software, as I work in IT) and more frustratingly in my social pursuits, vocabulary. I just randomly forget the right word to use in situations, which flusters me in face to face conversation, and therefore embarasses me.

Necrophagist,
I've experienced all of this the past 8 years (am 36 now), and was told by my Psychiatrist that the memory loss resulted from the disease of mental illness. And while part of that may be true, as it is a brain disorder, I think that there are things to do to slow the progression of it...'use it or lose it'.

I've also struggled with the 'why bother?' philosophy. If I can't learn everything about a subject, why learn about it at all. For me, I believe it's a way out...a way to avoid doing something new.

As far as the word finding difficulties, it's become increasingly worse for me lately, as I can go for days without talking to people. When I finally do, I also stumble around and have a hard time completing a thought, getting my point across, and capturing elusive words.

I went through DBT treatment for 5 weeks, and it was the first time I was able to stop the backsliding and start to dig myself out. I'm not sure if there are specific DBT exercises related to your topic, but I would just suggest activities to keep your brain active...cards, board games, sudoku, various online gaming sites, etc. Best of luck and let us know if you find something that helps.

PinkAngel467 wrote: but I would just suggest activities to keep your brain active...cards, board games, sudoku, various online gaming sites, etc. Best of luck and let us know if you find something that helps.

Personnaly, I don't have this problem, my job in programming checks/payments treatments fill that out.

But I suggest playing a music instrument also. It seems like an excellent way since it keeps both part of the brain active...

Just a thought- have a look at Adult Attention Deficit Disorder.


xx

I think I see what Necrophagist is talking about. Back in my teens, a lot of people said I had talent as a writer. However,over the past two years my abilitys to transfere my thoughts to the written word have diminished. As I become more depressed I think to myself,what is point? Eventually death will rob us of everything we learn,so why bother? I though I was the only one who thought this way. Necrophagist,the best advice I can give you is to learn to suppress these feelings. Whenever you start to think negative,push the thought out of your head and think only positive.Will shall triumpth over mind.