Avoidant Personality Disorder or not?

I am not the one, I am asking about. It is my girlfriend. She has Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.

The reason for my coming to this forum is, from what I have read and, what she has told me, she might have Avoidant Personality Disorder..

A. What I have read

1. Avoids occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact, because of fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection

2. Is unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of being liked

3. Shows restraint within intimate relationships because of the fear of being shamed or ridiculed

4. Is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations

5. Is inhibited in new interpersonal situations because of feelings of inadequacy

6. Views self as socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others

7. Is unusually reluctant to take personal risks or to engage in any new activities because they may prove embarrassing

B. What she has told me

1. While she does have a job as a kindergarden school teacher, she does not get involved in school functions. Her son does perticipate but, she doesn't.

2. While she hasn't said this to me, I have a feeling it does apply

3. She has told me, that, she is not 'emotionally' ready to meet in person.

4. She doesn't have many friends, for which, this might be the reason.

5. This may be an indirect reason for her OCD

6. She views herself as, personally unappealing.

7. This one goes back to her not being involved with activities, at the school where she teaches.

Avpd is usually noticed in social environments the avpd'er is not used to and it is hard to disguise the distress brought by the situation. That is usually noticiable.

You didn't include this in your post, so it could be something else.

PS: I too have ocd and avpd. Not easy luggage to carry. Help her carry hers. Be supportive.

It's hard to tell from your descritpion. A lot things can seem like AvPD but arent or vice versa, look like something else but really be AvPD. She could just be really shy, socially phobic (but not APD), possibly schizoid, aspergers, or any number of things.

3. She has told me, that, she is not 'emotionally' ready to meet in person.

This tells me you have not met her in person yet. To get a good perspective on things you really need to spend a lot of time around an avoidant in person before you can make this kind of call. You will be able to see a lot more. Having trouble making eye contact, producing fluent speech, a feeling of discomfort around new people/strangers or people in general, avoiding social situations, avoiding you & friends for seemingly no reason. These can all be indicators, but even then, you still can never know for sure unless you are that person. Either way, don't judge her just support her and let her tell you when she is ready. Avoidants need this.

After spending more time with her and you think she still fits the bill, you might be able to bring it up when you are comfortable with doing so and she seems comfortable and open with you. If she hasn't heard of it before this may prompt her to look into it and help her possibly, though if she really is an avoidant she could easily take it as an insult or criticism.

The point I'm trying to get across is you need to spend a lot of time around an avoidant and it is difficult to tell these things. This can be very difficult at times. Patience and understanding.

Or maybe I read that wrong and you do see her in person?