making sense

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I often say things that seem unconnected to the discussion at hand.
What happens is that i formulate a chain of thoughts that connect my seemingly irrelevant statement with the actuall discussion, but when i'm too anxious and i open my mouth to express what i'm thinking i'll try to say as less as possible (so that the chances of screwing up are less, i guess) so the people i'm talking with are all .
After that, i would either try to 'save' the situation by explaining better or (when i'm feeling very insecure) i wont even able to recollect what i was thinking moments ago so the point is lost.

There are the times when one of the persons i'm talking to actually deciphers the context of my thinking without help, its good when it happens

Well, it happens the other way around for me, because of too much monotoring when I say something it is brief and to the point. But I do make the ocasional HUMAN mistake. Making mistakes, especially in the middle of a discussion is pretty normal. People that talk faster than their toughts will most likely make more.

On the other hand, there are several degrees of avdp so it may be related and your avpd makes it harder for you to stay focused. I know that many times when in unconfortable locations and around people I'm unfamiliar with I find it VERY hard to keep up with the conversation and the truth is our brain is not good at multitasking. It is in fact, counter-productive and affects our performance, so monotoring and keeping up with all the talk can be tough and confusing.

I can sort of relate to that. Like when I'm taking a break at work, I'll say somethingrelated to the conversation, then I'll get the idea that it sounded stupid and everyone is thinking to themselves, "God, what a dumb thing to say..." So it's not unusual for me to go an entire break without saying anything at all. Which also makes me feel stupid.

IsAB wrote:After that, i would either try to 'save' the situation by explaining better or (when i'm feeling very insecure) i wont even able to recollect what i was thinking moments ago so the point is lost.

From my experience trying to "save" the situation, sets me up for more embarrassment. Not that i don't try, because redeeming myself is my main objective after something like this happens, but I lose focus to easily, my thought patterns become so scattered I quickly lose the point of the topic at hand. Anything i say at that point just makes me sound like a complete idiot.

Feels like a no win situation sometimes.

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Himeros, I was actually talking about the human brain in general. Multi-tasking(thinking about unrelated issues or chores at the same time) is counterproductive. On our best level of performance we need to do one thing at a time.

If I feel comfortable around a paticular person I don't have too hard of a time conversing with them. On the other hand, when it is someone new or if I am uncomfortable I realize I monitor my thought, speech, body posture, everything about me and my social expressions as well as the other persons. I take the monitoring to an extreme when I am uncomfortable (which is around almost anyone new) and creating fluent speech is incredibly hard for me because of that. I never realized that's what was until I came across AvPD but it explains what I do perfectly.

But on the making sense topic, occasionally I will say stuff that makes no sense at all or has nothing to do with the conversation topic at hand. I usually end up feeling stupid when I do and completely shut down socially after that. On the other hand, occasionally I will say something enigmatic that has real relevance to whatever is at hand to try and get the other person to stop and think for a bit. Most of the time that just flies right over people's heads and makes no sense to anyone, then I feel stupid again.

Isn`t it better to say something that no-one was expecting than to speak in clique`s?
What you see as a problem could be turned to your advantage. One of the traits of creative people is that they can express themselves in an original way, and not give a f**k if some people don`t get it or think them weird.

zatopek wrote: What you see as a problem could be turned to your advantage. One of the traits of creative people is that they can express themselves in an original way, and not give a f**k if some people don`t get it or think them weird.

But doesn't avpd usually restrains creative expression and growth because of fear of failure, low self estime and general feeling of inferiority?