Cannabis

Do any other Avpds use cannabis?

I strictly avoid any mind altering substance. I used to drink a small amount of caffeine - an iced tea - before a concert or while driving to stay awake. But I even gave that up.

I've never tried it. I've heard that some people hallucinate with it. It's bad enough having a prescription drug problem with tranquilizers and sleeping pills. I also have a smoking habit that I need to quit.

Yes. I'm 28 and been smoking weed on and off (mainly on) since I was 16. Obviously people would advise against avoidants being potheads and I'm sure that it's played into issues with my mental health somehow, but it's a blessing and a curse. A best friend and worst enemy.. I'm actually surprised at how little I've found on here about avp's and weed use/addiction.

I also have a love affair with stimulants though I use them pretty rarely. It's pretty amazing the paradigm shift that happens on MDMA and other stims for the socially anxious. But back to weed...

I guess you could say I self medicate with it. Tbh the past few years it's mainly been synthetic weed I've smoked. I know that stuff is dumb but it's not as black and white as that. Though I would never recommend it as it's highly addictive and with unknown properties and I plan on giving the synthetic stuff up for good in the new year! How about yourself? What is your relationship with weed?

I've smoked off & on for 40 years, but pretty much daily since they legalized recreational where I live. It doesn't even have much of effect on me any more. What, is it supposed to be especially bad for avoidant-type people?

Before it became legal, I used to have a glass of wine (or maybe 2) most evenings. The evening of the day it became legal I found that I totally lost the taste for any alcohol. I used to like a tiny bit of whiskey occasionally, too. I've tried a glass of wine 2 or 3 times since, and now it makes me sick and dizzy...

I'm a longtime smoker. Overall I would say that it's not a good thing. But for the purposes of this thread, that is besides the point.

parrotoxen wrote:it's a blessing and a curse. A best friend and worst enemy..

I think it all boils down to how you use it. It's a very easy drug to abuse. This is key; it's one of the only recreational drugs with what I call a safety valve. Unlike alcohol or even pills, you do not get more of an effect from continued use in a given period. For example, if I smoke at say, 8PM, smoking more at 9PM will have little noticeable effect. You have to wait for the initial dose to run it's course. Smoking more will only result in a muddy, draggy feeling. This has been my experience. The only other recreational drugs that work like this are psychedelics.

It's all about using it well vs. using it badly. Once you learn how to do that it can be both a blessing and a friend.

I am extremely high strung. It helps with that, and anxiety in general. In fact, for anxiety, it's invaluable, and, I believe, preferable to benzos because it works instantaneously. I will frequently come home in a state of repressed rage. I'm like a can of soda that has been shaken vigorously all day. In order to keep from popping that tab, I will smoke a little and presto: I'm calm. Works every time. I could take a klonopin, but it would be hours before it took effect, and God knows what kind of damage I would incur before it kicked in.

Used properly, it can be a wonder drug. (And this is besides it's medicinal properties.) On days that I come home from a long day of work and have a lot of chores to do, it can act as a stimulant. It can make tedious tasks practically fun. I'm currently reading a book on introversion, and I'm at a point that talks about introverts in the corporate world. For hundreds of pages. I'm not particularly interested in all that, but I hate skipping through portions of text when I'm reading, so If I smoke a little, the otherwise dull parts become interesting. It can even make a Wes Anderson movie interesting!

Marijuana makes my AvPD symptoms worse. Much worse. Through the roof. Situations like answering the phone or an email that would ordinarily be painful and annoying become downright impossible. But this is only for the duration…it doesn't make the symptoms worse in general. And I wouldn't bother picking up the phone or responding to the email anyway, so what's the difference? Oddly, it tends to lessen these symptoms when I am out in the world, but I think that would be true of any euphoriant.

It also makes my OCD symptoms worse, but at the same time gives me a clearer understanding of the mechanisms involved and how ridiculous they are. In this respect, I think it helps overall.

It can be both good and bad for depression. I have to be careful with that one.

For me, though, it's biggest blessing is that it stops anhedonia (although too much can cause anhedonia). It boosts creativity. Being that I've been going through a sort of existential artistic crisis for that past few years, I find it helpful. To what extent, I'm not sure yet.

But all this positive stuff comes from years of trial and error and experimenting with ways to make it work for me, and not the other way around.

I used to smoke regularly but gave it up due to legal reasons and cannabis containing too much THC, which caused me to feel more anxious and paranoid. If weed is decriminalized or legalized here I would probably pick up the habit again primarily for medical reasons and secondary for recreation. For now im using CBD hemp oil for anxiety - quite expensive but it really works. Im actually getting a bit more social and sleep better without getting high at all. Better than getting addicted to anxiety meds the doctor want to throw at me. Though the best would probably be a proper combination of THC and CBD, but that is out of the picture for now.

I've been using on and off as well since I was a teen. For the past 5 or so years I've been smoking weed continuously, I also see it as self-medicating rather than abusing

parrotoxen wrote:Tbh the past few years it's mainly been synthetic weed I've smoked.

I've heard some horror stories about it, like those shown in this video... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApTfAJAjrd4

Personally I've been using weed since around the middle of this year, mainly recreationally, but also to help with the depressive symptoms ('focusing on the good') to some degree.

One problem I've had with it is, despite it's ability to give you a break from the bad thoughts, is how it can actually make the bad thoughts worse, likely because of it's 'enchantment effect'. You'll be feeling good on it, then you recall something you hate about yourself, then you begin ruminating on it and you feel the dysphoria you usually would would but with double intensity. You see yourself as unappealing? You now see yourself as downright awful. It can also make bad past experiences feel worse than they actually are, although whilst on weed, getting sucked into a negative thoughts train (specifically over what's happened in the past) isn't really all that common, but it doesn't feel good when it happens. What I'm saying here is that, at least for me, it can make my self perception even worse, but not so much the bad thoughts. Doesn't happen every time but ever had that? Anyway, I'm still a fan.

I've had bad, bad anxiety on Hybrid strains before, but Indica/Sativas have never screwed me over at all, so clearly this is due to the potentiated THC content. Imho, the only class of drug Avoidants (specifically) should be wary of is psychedelics, as getting a good trip off them is just a matter of a good state of mind, which most Avoidants likely don't relate to.

This used to happen to me too. Often, I would try to just turn the negativity around, but that's hard to do. Now I'm just careful not to smoke with too many bad thoughts in my head. Sometimes, if I really try, I can stop the bummer thoughts before they gat too bad, but I've found it's best just not to smoke if I'm feeling too much negativity. I've also found that this happens more frequently with sativas, which is a shame because they're usually my preference.

I would strongly advise anyone with ANY mental health issues to steer clear of psychedelics.