Blocking Phone Numbers

Yeah, I know that my psychologist cannot legally give out my information, but I am oddly bothered by the thought that they might contact her at all. I gave her all my family members names, because I have this fear that they will find her, and start going to see her for therapy. I know this is irrational, but I think it highlights that I still have a lot to work though in regards to getting past the issues from my childhood.

My boundaries are frequently disrespected by family as well. I've cut most of them out of my life at this point and am only keeping certain ones as a means to an end until I get on my own two feet. I know that it's wrong to use people like that, but I don't care because I'm angry at them for not being as supportive as I've needed them to be with me. They've antagonized me at times where I was very vulnerable and now I don't trust them. I don't forgive them either and I feel a lot of hatred.

Contro wrote:My boundaries are frequently disrespected by family as well. I've cut most of them out of my life at this point and am only keeping certain ones as a means to an end until I get on my own two feet. I know that it's wrong to use people like that, but I don't care because I'm angry at them for not being as supportive as I've needed them to be with me. They've antagonized me at times where I was very vulnerable and now I don't trust them. I don't forgive them either and I feel a lot of hatred.

It is likely that they are using you on some level too. For example, my mom used to drive me a lot of places, because she got to see me more often and I gave her emotional support that my dad did not. My family acted like I was using her, but she was doing the exact same thing. It was very difficult for her to understand that I do not need to see or talk to her every day. I haven't seen her since October, because I find her emotionally draining.

Your boundaries for not accepting toxic behaviors from these relatives is probably also lowered, because you do not want them to see what you are doing. This will not not be good for your mental health in the long run.

Unsocial Butterfly wrote:Your boundaries for not accepting toxic behaviors from these relatives is probably also lowered, because you do not want them to see what you are doing. This will not not be good for your mental health in the long run.

Yeah, hopefully it's not too long before I can do these things on my own. Sometimes in life, sacrifices are necessary to get to a certain goal and this is one of those situations for me.

I have a lot of alone time fortunately, so I'm not around them a lot anyway.

Have the family members that you have kept around always been respectful of your boundaries? I just assumed that they had not been respectful in the past. It would be pretty difficult to set up new boundaries for yourself if you are crossing their boundaries.

Unsocial Butterfly wrote:Have the family members that you have kept around always been respectful of your boundaries?

No, they haven't been and aren't always respectful of my boundaries. I find myself repeating the same things time and time again with them.

Contro wrote:

Unsocial Butterfly wrote:Have the family members that you have kept around always been respectful of your boundaries?

No, they haven't been and aren't always respectful of my boundaries. I find myself repeating the same things time and time again with them.

If they have not respected your boundaries in the past, then they really can't expect you to respect their boundaries.

ya; they don't understand! and they don't seem to care! its empowering to take action!

IVe felt that people that don't appreciate me don't care if they ever see me again!

By blocking people! It gives me a chance to decide if they are friend or foe!