is there anyone who did it??

samehsalah15 wrote:Hang on there Ali, don't get depressed. Of course you can do it. Of course there is hope.This is a forum, where anyone one of us can write their opinions and sometimes their despair and hopelessness. I know it very well inside me that we can do many things to improve our lives. My experience with AvPD and the resulting depression has taught me one valuable lesson: nothing in life is worse than living in fear.
We will do whatever it takes to make our lives better and we will see it through. We are here in this together and we will pull together. We are not going to stop until we have done it!

Thank u sameh it is a great lesson.. we have only one life and we deserve to spend it feeling loved and secured that's why i need to make it

tictac wrote:I don't know if this helps, or how severe is your anxiety in general, but there is one single advice that always helped me with everything related to fear/anxiety: "do one thing you fear every day". It seems on the same vein of what you're doing. While I'm doing it, I find my anxiety much more under control, though when I stop, I seem have a regression (though never to the point where I was before).

For example, I am *almost* comfortable making comments to strangers ('chitchat with old lady in the bus' type of thing). It still gives me palpitations and anxiety, but nowhere like it was before. It did take a lot of consecutive attempts, but it did help me.

Therapy could probably be much more helpful, but I have no experience with that myself.

thank u for the practical advice i will definitely try it

Yes, pushing the envelope is very important to recovery IMO.. it's been very helpful to me when I maintained it. I used to write a list of challenges, attempting to do one every few days or at least once a week. Every day was just too much for me. If I felt I conquered the challenge, I'd draw a line though it and move on. If I "failed" the challenge, I'd break it down into smaller, easier steps. Also, I think it's important to repeat some of them in order to feel that they have truly been conquered.

All these challenges become more important if you list an ultimate goal at the bottom, something like getting a job or making a friend. That helps with motivation. Plus, I mention the list idea with crossed off accomplishments because I believe that viewing achievements daily helps. It's too easy to say "well, I've accomplished nothing". If you have tangible proof of your achievements, you can't say that. Plus, it is good motivation to keep going, and helps with confidence.

I would also say that I don't feel like I'm completely 'cured' but I have seen a massive improvement in the person I am over the years and I feel like I'm moving towards where I want to be. Although I think that it will be a journey that I'm on for the rest of my life.

If I could give one piece of advice it would be to realise your goals and dreams. In my experience I've had a number of things I've really wanted to do but my fear prevented me. This might be trying to start a new friendship, confronting people who upset me, taking a trip abroad, asking someone out on a date, etc. Sometimes these have led to good things, sometimes they didn't but I felt like every time I did something I was really scared of I was breaking down my fear barriers a little bit each time.

Another thing that was a real lightbulb moment for me was to understand what a friend is. For a long time I felt like people around me in college and work were friends and it made it quite painful and confusing when someone did something upsetting. These days I have a very clear idea in my head on who is a friend and who is 'someone I work with'. e.g. I worked with a woman for a couple of years and we spent many hours working closely together, chatting about different things. She moved offices and now when I see her she completely blanks me. I can't say I'm not upset by that but at least I don't feel like I've lost a friend.