I think my coworker is dying

Maybe a handwritten card with a picture of the plaque could be sent? If she's able to see it, that would really be a nice thing and you wouldn't have the awkwardness of having to figure out what to say, which can be very hard.

That's a very nice thing, that they are giving her that plaque. It obviously means a lot to her.

The boss says she is still asking how things are going at work. She was the second in charge of the section I work in. She's the one who got rid of the meathead at work last year. The boss liked the guy for some reason, but she went over him to the exec and made sure he didn't stay on after his probationary period.

There is a card somewhere in the building to sign. I didn't have time to even look for it because I was so busy Friday.

I'm sorry you're going through this. Could you send her flowers? Might that make you feel better, because you went out of your way to try to cheer her up?

Sorry to hear about your coworker. It does indeed sound like she is getting close to the end and that does mean there is not much time left to have a talk with her. Definitely try to see her if you get a chance, and the sooner the better.

I lost a friend to cancer some six weeks ago, with his condition taking a nose dive in the final 4 weeks of his life. Made an attempt to see him (after receiving some helpful advice which encouraged me to do so) but that was less than two weeks before he died and he was in such bad shape that I did not get to actually talk to him. Some ten days later we heard the bad news, and unfortunately his funeral was on the same day I was leaving for a vacation trip with flights booked in advance.

The next few weeks are going to be difficult, it helps a little if you start mentally preparing yourself for the future and taking news one day at a time during the present.

This might seem a little chilly, but it's helped me in situations similar to this…

I know how difficult it can be to feel obligated to say 'something' to someone who is terminally ill, but have you considered the fact that hearing words of comfort from you, specifically, is very likely MUCH less of an issue for her than you think it is? I didn't see any mention of friends and family, but I'm sure she's got them, and I'm sure they're all there for her. Facing mortality is heavy, and I'm sure she's got a lot going on in her head, but I doubt she spends as much time wondering why she hasn't heard any comforting words from you as you do worrying about how you can approach her and what you can say. She's got her loved ones to say goodbye to, maybe even some unfinished emotional business or similar matters, and whatever else that would be a matter of concern when approaching the end of one's life. I'm pretty sure she doesn't spend the bulk of her time wondering when you will approach her.

I would think the mindset of someone who is terminal would be……well actually I wouldn't know what to think because I have never been there. But if you were dying, would you be overly concerned about hearing from each and every person you work with? I don't know, maybe you've been at that job a while and are very close with everyone…still, she might understand your discomfort with the situation better than you think you do. Additionally, you might not be tho only one who is having difficulty approaching her.

Hope that didn't sound callous.

Hepzibah Pynchon wrote:Don't be like me. I watch the obits for deaths of anybody who bullied me in the past. That way I can go dance on their graves.

Now THAT's callous. Love it!!!

Late Monday the boss told us that she died over the weekend.

Parador wrote:Late Monday the boss told us that she died over the weekend.

I'm so sorry. It sounds like she went downhill so fast towards the end that it wasn't possible to do anything for her by then, as she was too sick to have visitors.

I'm very sorry to hear that Parador. Thinking of you and of her family too.

She has 2 sons. One showed up at work the day she came in but I didn't meet him. I don't know what happened to her husband. I never find out lots of details about people's lives. There's a card. I have to figure out what to write on it. I don't have any details about the funeral. It's weird how things just go on when someone dies, like we're all just ants in a hive and the individual has no real importance.

Parador wrote:It's weird how things just go on when someone dies,

Yes, that's impressive.