What % of people are total butt-heads?

I ran into some at a movie over the weekend. I was in an aisle seat - I always get an aisle seat so I don't have to crawl over people if I have to leave. The movie had started and 5 minutes in 3 people walk in. They didn't even wait for their eyes to adjust so they could see. One of them just says 'lets sit here' and a woman walks right into my legs trying to get to a seat. They didn't bother to find other seats - there were plenty. The 3 of them just pushed past me into the seats on my right. Then the guy who sat next to me starts munching on a huge bag of popcorn - rustle rustle, munch munch. Obnoxious a-hole. You know if they hadn't bothered to get food they probably wouldn't have been late. Anyway - luckily there were plenty of empty seats so after a few minutes I moved. I even hated drawing attention by doing that. It would have been more fun to elbow munch man in the nose!

That's a good question. At my previous job I felt like at least half the customers were rude, demeaning and needlessly aggressive, but at my current job it's actually rare to run into people like that. If I were to take a guess I’d say 20-30 % of the total population. Voting 30 %.

I voted 100%, which was a little high, but the lesser of two evils, 90% being too low.

As for the cinema thing, try spilling a soda or something all over the seats in front of you. I do. I know it's puerile, but if I'm paying $15.00 to see a movie, I want to see it without some loudmouth with a great big big big head looming in front of me.

I hate the aisle seats because without fail, at least once or twice, I will have to deal with someone's ass in my face as they try to shuffle by to go get another hot dog. Since I can't afford the $72,451.99 it usually costs to get refreshments, and am generally phobic of public restrooms, I like to sit smack in the middle of the row. I am rarely bothered there.

I'm sorry you had that bad experience Parador.

I don't know how to answer the survey. I don't think it's possible to answer really because one person's butthead is another's not-that-bad. I don't think it's useful either. I think it's more helpful to believe most people may have some bad traits under certain circumstances, but that most people are OK if you treat them fairly. And nowadays I'm more partial to what is useful than what is true.

I think we're just venting more than anything else. Believe it or not, I am a big believer in common courtesy. I admit pouring liquid onto a vacant theater seat is a discourteous thing to do, but in a passive-agressive way. I would never do that if someone was sitting there.

Hannibal Lecter said; "Discourtesy is unspeakably ugly to me."
Of course, if you will remember, the offender was found dead in his cell the next day.
Hannibal was not passive-aggressive.

I think the prevalence of butt-heads has a lot to do with where you live. I live in New York City. Enough said.

-- Fri Sep 04, 2015 6:32 am --

I think we're just venting more than anything else. Believe it or not, I am a big believer in common courtesy. I admit pouring liquid onto a vacant theater seat is a discourteous thing to do, but in a passive-agressive way. I would never do that if someone was sitting there.

Hannibal Lecter said; "Discourtesy is unspeakably ugly to me."
Of course, if you will remember, the offender was found dead in his cell the next day.
Hannibal was not passive-aggressive.

I think the prevalence of butt-heads has a lot to do with where you live. I live in New York City. Enough said.

Parador wrote:

…with fava beans and a nice chianti

-- Fri Sep 04, 2015 4:04 pm --

LOL Marcus thanks for the laugh!

I know NY people can be considered rude often but I chalk that up to the environment.

I dunno.. maybe I'm just too forgiving

And in reality, let's understand that as avoidants, we have probably ended up being a real butthead to somebody. For instance, have you ever literally tried to avoid somebody on the street out of fear? Kinda rude, right? What about not gregariously greeting somebody? Not going to the trouble of keeping a friendship going? Not going to somebody's function out of fear, because you can't stand the thought of having to socialize? Rude? Well, no we say, it's not rude we're scared! But it looks like rudeness on the outside.

Yeah, I've been a butthead. Being fearful isn't an excuse. So.. as the old saying goes, be kind and forgiving to everybody because you have no idea of what battles they are fighting.

I had totally forgotten that South Park episode! My high school principal had a face like a butt too. Butt-face was a child molester too.

skyflyz wrote:I know NY people can be considered rude often but I chalk that up to the environment.

Actually I don't think it's because people are ruder, there's just more of them, which means more butt-heads. And unfortunately, butt-head behavior tends to stand out more than acts of civility or kindness.

skyflyz wrote:And in reality, let's understand that as avoidants, we have probably ended up being a real butthead to somebody. For instance, have you ever literally tried to avoid somebody on the street out of fear? Kinda rude, right? What about not gregariously greeting somebody? Not going to the trouble of keeping a friendship going? Not going to somebody's function out of fear, because you can't stand the thought of having to socialize? Rude? Well, no we say, it's not rude we're scared! But it looks like rudeness on the outside.

I hadn't thought of that. I used to live in a house with a bunch of people. My room was the attic. This is when my avoidant tendencies started kicking in, and I would frequently bypass everyone (the house was always full of people--friends, boyfriends/girlfriends etc) and wordlessly climb up the stairs to my lair. A couple of times it got back to me that I'd been called "snotty" or "rude" or "asshole". With what you said in mind, this makes a little more sense now. Also, my preferred method of breaking up with someone is (well, was) to just not call them. Avoid them. Disappear from their life without an explanation. Anything to bypass the emotional waterfall I feared I would be confronted with. Pretty bad behavior. Although I'm pretty sure this was learned behavior more than anything else: abandonment issues have always been a problem for me. But avoiding people on the street and especially not attending some function (why do you need me there? there will be dozens of other people there, you won't even miss me) is pretty much butt-head behavior. Still, while having a PD isn't the best excuse, it's still better than being rude out of arrogance or narcissism.

skyflyz wrote:as the old saying goes, be kind and forgiving to everybody because you have no idea of what battles they are fighting.

Nicely put. If you realize that like yourself, everybody else you encounter exists at the center of their own universe, it's a little easier to come to terms with behavior from others that you might find offensive.

Parador wrote:I had totally forgotten that South Park episode! My high school principal had a face like a butt too. Butt-face was a child molester too.

How could you forget the Thompsthhhhhhhhhhhhhhons?! Every time I see that episode and they're "eating" scones, I piss myself.

I love this thread because the heading is so funny when juxtaposed with all the other more serious topics.