Do you get jealous of People who can socialize easily?

I get jealous of people who get other people to really like them quickly.

Not really. It sounds nice in idea, and I can see the benefits, but it would be also exhausting and time consuming. Nowadays I am pretty decent at shallow socializing, and a lot of it is a waste of time.

skyflyz wrote:I get jealous of people who get other people to really like them quickly.

Okay, this is going to come off as really braggy, but that kind of happens for me. I'm a storyteller, I tell good stories, I can "hook" people easily. However, then the pressure hits. Eventually I will always run out of stories to tell. They have expectations of me and I can't fulfill them. They have an idea of who I am that is actually often the opposite of who I really am. It's actually pretty horrible. I know the grass is always greener, and who am I to complain about it. I end up dissecting myself, skewering myself, eviscerating myself over it, going over everything I did wrong, and how horribly I'm going to let that person down. The more someone "likes" "me," the worse I feel about it.

I know that feeling. What's bad is when you know someone likes you or has high opinion of you or about your ability. I'd rather just end it right there before I bored them to death. We can carry on living with good impression of one another.

Like, I am fine with people having low opinion of me, thinking I am crazy, etc. But disappointing people I hate.

I used to be jealous of people who can socialize easily.
Nowadays, I am not.Because I have realized that I may not be a social butterfly and that’s just the way I am.
I accept this reality and focus on other talents I do possess.

I am envious. I envy how these people find full satisfaction in socializing. For me, I feel like socializing is shallow and lacking. If I talk to a random person I always feel a desire to strike a close friendship and I feel bad because they obviously do not. I feel forlorn, knowing that they'll chat with me and forget me next minute. To me it feels like such communication is meaningless, all I want from socializing is to make long-lasting bonds.

But I can see that popular people don't want to strike meaningful relationships. They're ok with multitudes of shallow relationships. This is what I envy the most. Not caring to make it last. Enjoying random socializing just because.

I've had rare experiences in my life of being in the center of attention of big groups of people. It was thanks to someone else, a highly popular and charismatic man, showing interest in me. His fans started showering me with attention. It felt overwhelmingly nice and there was so much of it that it drowned out my anxiety and I felt like I was connected to all of them. Not in a deep meaningful way of unbreakable bonds, but simply... connected. This is how I imagine normal people feel when they socialize. I do not. For me it's black and white: I either delude myself into thinking that there's a possibility of close friendship, or socializing becomes very frustrating and exhausting.

TYK wrote:I have realized that I may not be a social butterfly and that’s just the way I am.
I accept this reality and focus on other talents I do possess.

That's a really good way of looking at it.

The only reason I may be envious of those who socialize so easily it reminds me everything they can do with that confidence. They are able to take risks that may cause disappointment, there are able to confident at an interview even if they inadequate, they are able to handle any attention on themselves with out losing it. Anything that draws attention to me I hate. So I am not necessarily jealous of others who can socialize, but I am only jealous of their lack of anxiety in situations that I cannot handle. Not because I want to socialize but because I fear that I will be in a situation where I will have no choice but to socialize and I wont be able to handle it.

I end up socializing and accepting invitation I don't want to all the time, because I don't want to have to explain why I don't want to go or because I don't want to lie my way out of it either. But I secretly wish for something to come up so I don't have to socialize and be the awkward loner that will try to funny to fit in but I usually end up making fun of myself out of fear that I may hurt someone else's feelings.