AvPD and romantic relationships

by **creative_nothing** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 9:46 pm

Maybe I am a bit histrionic, but I am not talking to total rejection, more of subtle signs of dislike and so on.
Well in theory she is there to please you, but I thought avoidants wouldnt see this way.

-- Tue Jun 16, 2015 6:47 pm --

English is not my first language so forgive me if whore sounded offensive.

Klrskies wrote:There's little point in trying to be with someone relatively normal and think that all is going to work out because they are going to figure out sooner or later that there is something askew. It's unlikely a "normal" personality will begin a longterm relationship with disordered personality. Odds are people that are attracted to us, and we to them, are going to be somewhat disordered or mentally dysfunctional in some way. How capable both partners are of communicating and taking action to resolve conflicts, while still enjoying each others company in most situations is key...it's the same thing that "normals" do to sustain a relationship, but we need more help.

Absolute truth here. The longterm relationships I've had have tended to be with disordered types, mostly cluster Bs. The few "normal" guys ran for the hills once the confident façade came off..and it will come off. You can't keep pretending a lie forever. I finally concluded that the only way I could ever have a decent relationship was to try and fix myself first, to the point where I wasn't a neurotic mess.. I suppose there are some other than disordered types who could tolerate this, but I never found one.

by **creative_nothing** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 12:06 pm

Parador wrote:
creative_nothing wrote:Maybe I am a bit histrionic, but I am not talking to total rejection, more of subtle signs of dislike and so on.
She wouldn't get repeat business if she did that.

Yes, but that wouldnt make you even more suspicious?

I mean, shouldnt be sex about MUTUAL pleasure?

For me the idea of paying for pleasing a prostitute is not strange at all. Maybe it is a bit histrionic, nevertheless I think it is right.

Now having a sexual slave seens strange to me.

Of course one good blow job will make me forget it, but what is the point after all?

by **Parador** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 3:27 pm

creative_nothing wrote:Yes, but that wouldnt make you even more suspicious?

Suspicious of what? If she hates what she does so much she could go on welfare. There are all kinds of social programs in this country - and Canada.

I mean, shouldnt be sex about MUTUAL pleasure?

She's getting the pleasure of being paid.

For me the idea of paying for pleasing a prostitute is not strange at all. Maybe it is a bit histrionic, nevertheless I think it is right.

Now having a sexual slave seens strange to me.

Of course one good blow job will make me forget it, but what is the point after all?

Relieving sexual tension and frustration is the point. There is no other way to do it other than having sex.

by **creative_nothing** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 3:51 pm

Parador wrote:
creative_nothing wrote:Yes, but that wouldnt make you even more suspicious?

Suspicious of what? If she hates what she does so much she could go on welfare. There are all kinds of social programs in this country - and Canada.

Ok, different culture.

EDIT: It seens to me that they are always worried either if someone is not going to pay them, or rape them. It seens that most would like to leave this life, however arent willing to reduce their income to the levels of ordinary jobs.

Relieving sexual tension and frustration is the point. There is no other way to do it other than having sex.

Jerking off?

by **Parador** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 7:37 pm

creative_nothing wrote:Jerking off?

Not good enough. If it was then the human race wouldn't exist. Why wouldn't people just jerk rather than go to the trouble of finding someone for sex? Sex with another person is required for full relief.

by **creative_nothing** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 7:47 pm

Parador wrote:
creative_nothing wrote:Jerking off?
Not good enough. If it was then the human race wouldn't exist. Why wouldn't people just jerk rather than go to the trouble of finding someone for sex? Sex with another person is required for full relief.

Because people lived together and naked.

Never said sex was not better, it is just not 'modern society barriers' better.

Also the fact the people had sex on primitive society, doesnt mean that they didnt care about each other. In fact sex release oxytocin an hormone that binds people together. Husband-Wife is a kind of bind, but not the only kind. The very concept of fatherhood is a modern inovation.

by **Parador** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 8:19 pm

creative_nothing wrote:
Parador wrote:
creative_nothing wrote:Jerking off?
Not good enough. If it was then the human race wouldn't exist. Why wouldn't people just jerk rather than go to the trouble of finding someone for sex? Sex with another person is required for full relief.

Because people lived together and naked.

Never said sex was not better, it is just not 'modern society barriers' better.

Also the fact the people had sex on primitive society, doesnt mean that they didnt care about each other. In fact sex release oxytocin an hormone that binds people together. Husband-Wife is a kind of bind, but not the only kind. The very concept of fatherhood is a modern inovation.

I'm afraid I have no idea what you're going on about here. All I have been saying is that guys who suffer from sexual frustration should be doing hookers. I have found that I don't feel a real need for a romantic relationship. Maybe it;s because I've been on my own for too long.

by **creative_nothing** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 8:24 pm

For sure, hookers are better, than lying. If you are neither physically exceptional, you should seek this way if you want to have sex.

That doesnt work for me. I need more, I need intimacy, although I cant get it. A hooker wont provide me with this, unless I act like Richard Gere Pretty Woman. I am not rich.

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