I need to find an isolated way to make a living.

jawila wrote:This may be the biggest stressor in my life next to loneliness.

I've been underemployed for most of my life working as a driver.

I'm wondering if there is a way for an avoidant to get through traditional college? (I keep trying but failing.)

Do you have a handle on why you are failing? Is there some way you can get counseling? I know it can be expensive, but many places have a sliding scale for fees, so it's something to look into. Not easy to do, but I applaud you for what you have done.. just the effort in attempting to better your life is something to be proud of, and not easy to do. Keep up the battle, and good luck.

jawila wrote:This may be the biggest stressor in my life next to loneliness.

I've been underemployed for most of my life working as a driver.

I'm wondering if there is a way for an avoidant to get through traditional college? (I keep trying but failing.)

With college, would it be less stressful to take on a course part time? I've done part time courses before, and the reduced workload helped. It took me longer to get there, but things were a slower pace and I wasn't spending as much time interacting with others. I could go do my work quietly in the library in the downtime rather than being in face to face classes all day- only having to deal with a couple of face to face classes instead.

I've also found studying by distance/correspondence helpful. I did have to be very disciplined in my approach to do it though, and not use the tempting excuse of "I'll do it later". I'd done one of my Year 11/12 subjects by distance, so I was already ok with the idea of doing it that way.

I was stuck with minimum wage jobs and not more than 2 dollars an hour over since I was 15. I only decided to go to college in 2013 and I totally understand what you guys are saying. I dropped out of college the first time because it was a 2 year course and I knew I couldn't handle the same group of girls for that long. I am not as awkward around men if I have no intention of dating them. Men don't tend to gossip, socialize or really expect that much social interaction in general. So I knew this time when I picked a career that it couldn't be something where I had to work with the same group of girls. Where I work now it's split almost equal amount of guys and girls. Everyone tends to keep to themselves. There is one girl that is possibly OCD and doesn't always react the best when you make a mistake and that makes me really paranoid, but for the most part she keeps to her self too.

I usually can't handle the same people for more than 8 months. Especially woman, and the thing with college and employment is that woman want to socialize as much as possible so the length of study actually played a big role in my decision. I agree with lilyfairy as well though part-time can be equally as beneficial for us, but I thought it would be easier to have it done and over with as quick as possible because over an extended period of time people start thinking there is something wrong with you for not bonding with anybody and everybody. I did a lot of research in the field I wanted to study before I started to make sure I wouldn't have any excuses to drop out this time. I wanted to make sure it had a high employment rate and decent income for the shortest course possible. I am more of a chemist/math person and it would be my dream honestly to be some sort of scientist, but 4 years of university would be impossible for me to be who I am. I am really jealous of people that can actually commit to University knowing how you are. (keep in mind University here is college in the states and vice versa) So even near the end of my course I didn't want to be there. It's hard for me to watch everyone bonding so quickly and socializing outside of school. There were a couple times where I socialized too just to avoid explaining why I don't want to socialize and that was very hard for me to set myself up for the disappointment of people not liking because of being awkward like that.

My course was only 10 months total but I had Christmas break, march break and every Friday-Sunday off of school. 4 full days made it full time and I can handle 4 days for the most part. I work 5 days a week right now, but I can go almost the whole day without being expected to speak to my co-workers. Client's aren't bad because I don't have to say much and I try to avoid any conversation out of fear that it could be unprofessional or they might see how awkward I am. I have to talk on the phone briefly, but usually I get to transfer them because I am not allowed to give legal advice which is why I could never actually be a lawyer.

The problem with online courses though is that it can be near impossible to find a good paying job in the field you study. Employers look at attendance more than marks and they can't do that with an online course. Also the courses are so easy it's hard for employers to judge if you actually learned enough to work in the field. My husband's course anyways is super easy. They are basically giving him the diploma. He has open book tests that he has 24 hours to write. Even if it was hard and he failed he would get 3 chances to write the tests. His lowest mark is 85%, but it is so easy to get 100%, he doesn't see the point in trying when he still gets 85%-95% on every test without reading/studying. If you just want a diploma under your belt to say you did something then it's great. My husband is self employed as well so it is worth it to him because he won't have to apply for any jobs.

justbreathe88 wrote:The problem with online courses though is that it can be near impossible to find a good paying job in the field you study. Employers look at attendance more than marks and they can't do that with an online course. Also the courses are so easy it's hard for employers to judge if you actually learned enough to work in the field. My husband's course anyways is super easy. They are basically giving him the diploma. He has open book tests that he has 24 hours to write. Even if it was hard and he failed he would get 3 chances to write the tests. His lowest mark is 85%, but it is so easy to get 100%, he doesn't see the point in trying when he still gets 85%-95% on every test without reading/studying. If you just want a diploma under your belt to say you did something then it's great. My husband is self employed as well so it is worth it to him because he won't have to apply for any jobs.

Interesting... online degrees weren't an option when I went to college. I wonder if some online schools are more highly regarded than others? I think about getting a degree or at least a certificate online, since I live in a smallish town without too much in the way of local universities. A girl I know got her bachelor's online and was able to land a job in the field. That may simply have been because the town she is in is in the middle of nowhere and no way can somebody get a 4 year degree locally. I think I would have a problem being disciplined enough for an online course. I do think though that trying it out might be worthwhile for me.. US News and World Report has listings of "the best universities" and I think they include some online ones. Might look into that.

justbreathe88 wrote:The problem with online courses though is that it can be near impossible to find a good paying job in the field you study. Employers look at attendance more than marks and they can't do that with an online course. Also the courses are so easy it's hard for employers to judge if you actually learned enough to work in the field. My husband's course anyways is super easy. They are basically giving him the diploma. He has open book tests that he has 24 hours to write. Even if it was hard and he failed he would get 3 chances to write the tests. His lowest mark is 85%, but it is so easy to get 100%, he doesn't see the point in trying when he still gets 85%-95% on every test without reading/studying. If you just want a diploma under your belt to say you did something then it's great. My husband is self employed as well so it is worth it to him because he won't have to apply for any jobs.

I'm not talking about just finding any random website that offers online courses, but a nationally recognised provider- one which will provide you with a qualification accepted/relevant to where you live. Where I live there are ones available through universities and vocational education providers. Some courses are all online, some are partly online- it depends on the field you're studying.

I'm not talking about just finding any random website that offers online courses, but a nationally recognised provider- one which will provide you with a qualification accepted/relevant to where you live. Where I live there are ones available through universities and vocational education providers. Some courses are all online, some are partly online- it depends on the field you're studying.

I know what you mean now. I didn't think of that because they don't offer a lot online here, but I have heard of being able to do some of the courses to get your University degree online, but most of them here are in class. That would be really cool if I could do the whole degree online I would totally become a scientist of some sort or a get a PHD sounds too good to be true.

I know It's possible to get a 4 year degree online from a reputable college, if you have the self discipline.

Thinking back now I realize my bipolar and substance use disorders also played a role in my failures in college. Probably best to get treatment first and then reassess my goals.

Going part time seems reasonable too.