Edit is essential

angles90 wrote:But given the option we would see people deleting their posts all the time, so I don't know...

So true! I always avoid reading my old posts bc I feel shame about myself.

I don't know. I don't reveal who I am here, so if I ever did anything truly embarrassing, I would probably just disappear.

That's not to say I wouldn't make ample use of it -- I would! But, I really don't think it would cause me to post more or post less. I find that separating identities makes me more comfortable with sharing things about myself, and that sharing common traits or interests makes things easier, too.

Maybe it's foolish... I don't know. I'm sure someday I'll post something really awkward and regret it, but hopefully it will not be so bad that I have to leave this community in shame. I do really like being able to talk with people here from time to time...

I don't feel comfortable posting. This is one of the reasons for me to post in a foreign forum, noone from Spain can reconignize me. There are many little possibilities to find someone who knows me and much less, taking into account that I don't know many people here, in my own city.

I'm not used to forums, besides this one.

With or without editing function, I tend to read and reread posts before posting, and sometimes think 2-3 days before writing (and still make some big spelling/grammar mistakes ).

I like that posts can't be edited (most of the time) because that makes the forum a coherent place, with interesting discussions. When I discovered the place I browsed a lot in old threads and it was rich and useful for me.

I see some posters ashamed of what they wrote 1-2 years ago. I understand that but for me it can be a sign that they evolved a lot in that time.

(I'm not very avoidant)

I've had someone say to me, "I posted that just so you would see it and then deleted it right afterward." That is gaslighting, and it's abuse. It was done to get around the fact that I won't read PM's from the person posting. The assumption that no one else would see it, or no one else would understand who was being talked about, is false. That's what happens in forums where long term delete and/or edit is allowed.

It annoys me quite a lot as I often want to edit my posts, even though I try to make it so that I don't have to edit them when I'm writing them and submitting them for the first time. and definitely would have liked to be able to edit/delete some posts many times before. this and the image size block is quite frustrating here.

I'm surprised so many people voted Yes. I voted No because this is the Internet, not the G8 summit. Words shouldn't carry so much weight that you to take the trouble and change what you wrote last year which nobody even remembers anyway.

But if someone told you something when you were alone together, you can't confirm it anymore than if someone posted something for you to see and then deleted it. Unless you're taping all your conversations, they are all potential gaslighting and abuse then. In fact, it's more realistic to take screenshots of somebody's post pronto than it is to always have tape recorder on you.

In that case, that's exactly what I do, screenshot what's there, knowing it will probably be deleted or altered, so that when this particular person plays innocent I can just forward proof of what they had said.

In real life, if someone is gaslighting, you can get away from them. Refuse to talk to them.

On forums, there really isn't that option. Someone can easily PM people, collect minions, and poison their minds, making them believe something that isn't true. Send out a web of deception in order to "garner sympathy at the expense of another member," as it was described on another forum, where the behavior became rampant, until everyone stopped posting because they couldn't tolerate the mistreatment anymore.

Emailing screenshots of abusive posts gets tiresome. It's much easier to send a link so they can look it up themselves.

I understand that it doesn't happen often, but it does happen. And especially it's horrible to do to avoidant people, because we want to take the blame for everything. It turns into a mind game. Awful people do it, and awful people think they can get away with treating people like that. Not giving abusers the option to behave that way takes away the temptation, especially when we're such a juicy target.

Well, in real life someone can do bad things to you, on forums, you can just ignore posts, put member on ignore list, not read their PM - I have messages from good friends that go unanswered for weeks, let alone someone I don't like. I feel ashamed about it but it's stronger than me I guess. So internetz beats real life for me by a long shot.

On editing, it shows that a person edited their post, so you can always point that out. And if psychotic gaslighting attempts happen rarely, then grammar mistakes and the like happen very often.

To me the whole issue is a non starter mostly, because you can still edit recent posts (thank gods) and few people will read old posts, and of those who'll read them, even fewer will care.