Understanding Myself

It took a long time to get to this point. For most of my life I just viewed myself as a failure. I felt-and still tend to feel this way--like I'm not like anyone else. The stress is like a ton of bricks. I even have a hard time explaining it.

My question is what now? Is there a chance I can have a normal life? I can't get the help I need because I'm unable to see a better doctor right now. I was diagnosed once but I don't know what to tell the doctor I have now. I just feel like our sessions aren't properly helping me. What should I ask for or possibly look for when I can see a new doctor?

Is it possible to suffer from this and social anxiety? I'm glad to be here because I now know I am not alone in all of this.

AvPD and Social Anxiety Disorder are commonly diagnosed together.

If your current doctor doesn't know you have this, you may consider telling him and he might be more helpful to you. You can definitely make vast improvement on this disorder with work on self esteem and socialization.

Hi Fizzy Orange

It is possible to have both social anxiety and AvPD. I have both, I admit that I struggle to work out where one ends and the other starts though. I guess that is not the most important issue- what goes with what- it learning ways to deal with them on a day to day basis that matters.

It is possible to get to a point where you can lead a reasonably normal life and to be able to function well. You would probably have some avoidant traits that might stay with you, but it is possible to recover to a point of functioning well.

Have you ever brought up the previous diagnosis with your doctor? I'd say this would be a first step to take. Are you looking for a doctor or a therapist?

I'm danish, so I'm aware that the system works differently from country to country. But I am also a psychology student, studying to become a therapist, and from a professional standpoint I think, that you would be better off seeing a therapist or psychiatrist who knows something specific about this particular disorder. I guess that normal doctors get basic training in these kind of mental issues, but are more specialized in bodily problems. Which is why you need to talk to someone, who knows how best to help someone with AvPD an possible social anxiety. Is it possible for you to talk to your doctor and ask for his help in finding a therapist? If it's difficult to say to him face to face, you could write it down in a letter?

Both from a personal (I also suffer from AvPD) and professional standpoint I know, that I would never grow as a person and learn to live with this, if I had 'therapy'-sessions with my regular doctor.

Best of luck to you!

It's really hard to find a specialist in AvPD. I had huge success with one who specialized in childhood trauma. Because that's what starts AvPD - a traumatic childhood.

It will probably take you a little while to find one that works well for you. That's okay. You can always fire your therapist and get a new one. Better to keep searching for a good fit then waste your time. Right?

inverse wrote:It's really hard to find a specialist in AvPD. I had huge success with one who specialized in childhood trauma. Because that's what starts AvPD - a traumatic childhood.

True it's hard to find someone who specialises in AvPD, but I think it's possible to find someone with enough training and knowledge behind them to uses the approaches that they know to treat AvPD though- like the trauma therapy

I would definitely agree that if you don't feel comfortable with the first person you see, then it's ok to ask to see someone else or to ask them if they can recommend someone to you. A good therapist will be ok with that.

fizzy_orange wrote:It took a long time to get to this point. For most of my life I just viewed myself as a failure. I felt-and still tend to feel this way--like I'm not like anyone else. The stress is like a ton of bricks. I even have a hard time explaining it.

No-one is like anyone else. Every person that has ever lived or will ever live is unique. Categorization, labeling and pigeon-holing are fear based mechanisms, coming from the fear of difference and the unknown. The same goes for all kinds of groupings of people, labels, names, titles, political affiliations - the list is endless. We do this to feel safe, but we are deluded.
Its not difference in itself that is the real issue but what meaning we place on difference that is the problem.

No-one really fits in anywhere. There is no real group of people who are "the right way to be" people against who we judge ourselves by.

Its important to distinguish between dysfunction that causes unhappiness and subjective comparison of yourself with others, the basis of which is fraught with all kinds of issues.

If you can stop thinking "I'm not like anyone else" and "a failure", you may find the stress is reduced or eliminated.